Redheadsusie

So since AH self destructed while drunk Friday night at dinner with my son and me - ( we asked him not to go on about politics as he promised and he didn't speak the rest of dinner - left to go to his Mommy's and has not come home since or spoken to me ) I get a text at 7 am - I am on my way to the ER. What the hell I thought? Well I call him - his back went out - always something mind you- but he drove himself - got a shot of some pain meds - and then got a prescription for Vicodin of course and muscle relaxers. Get this- his Dad went to pick him up- but he calls me and said he was on his way home. I say is your Dad driving ( his dad is 81) he says no - he is following me - I am driving- I am fine he slurs~ I say that is not right - he says I will be home to out house later. I say you are coming here? He said yes- I say AH you have not spoken to me since Friday night or stayed here all weekend and not addressed anything and you just want to come here to stay? He says of course you think it is all me........... you always shut down my wanting to talk abou things but your son too? ( he is 21) this is your fault. Oh sweet Jesus the insanity of it. Then he starts cusssing at a driver calling him a f er and yelling. He had been taking my dogs pain pills she got for a surgery and I found out so I hid them so I guess he needed some more. Am I wrong in telling him not to come here...I am not taking care of him even if he is hurt which I truly think is bs but you told me consequences for bad behavior needed to be implemented. I e mailed him yesterday and said you can't behave like this and act like nothing happened -my boundary is I won't be around you when drinking period. No response. Help.

thislonelygirl

it is bs. normal people use pain pills when they really need it not everytime they have the slightest ache and pain and just being addicted is pain enough for them.
i dont blame you i would have told my ah no too...stay somewhere else! my gosh....he stole A DOGS pain meds and got more at the er and having his 80 yr old father follow him while he slurs and hes been unaccounted for , for a few days. heck no! keep that drama and crazy on that side of the fence. as for the email, you don't need a response from him you just need to know that he heard it and that your willing to follow through.

marie1960

Well if you are serious about your boundary, be prepared to see less and less of him.

i doubt if he is off thinking about your boundary, my guess is he is off self medicating. Be it the pills, the booze, or the combination of both, highly doubt he is available for ANY type of conversation.

Not only did I get tired of pretending to have normal, civilized discussions with XA, towards the end of our time together I realized I was speaking a foreign language to him

Hawkeye13

Stick to it. He's stealing your dog's pills. How over the top is that?

If you let him back drinking, he will have even less respect and step on you more.

Take care and be well.

Fandy

Lock the doors, turn off the lights and do not answer your phone. let him pound and holler he will soon get sick of this and hopefully go to pester his elderly parents.

what an idiot....think about this....you do not need his baloney right before the work week starts...oh does he have an actual job to earn $$? He could care less about everyone else...taking the dog's surgery meds? how pathetic is he?

LoveMeNow

Pills are a whole new animal and difficult to detect but the insanity is very much the same.

Mixing pills and alcohol can make him very dangerous. Stay safe!

Springs

You did the right thing. Stay strong. We're here with you.

Recovering2

Nothing changes if Nothing changes. You have to set and hold your boundaries at some point, or just accept this is who he is and this is your life with him. From reading your posts, I don't think this is the life you want. But only you can change that. He will continue to walk all over you until you say "enough". He expects to behave as he pleases, he expects to come and go as he pleases. So far it's working for him. He has NO respect for you. So, if you've had enough and believe you deserve better, change the locks - stop answering the phone - no texts. Stop Stop Stop Reclaim your life and leave him to his path.

Mountainmanbob

nothing wrong with that

I would hold to it

MM