Frustration in seeking help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Alberta
Posts: 1
Frustration in seeking help
Hi there,
I don't know how many of you will read this, I just need to vent. I'm an alcoholic. I have been for many years, about 7 eventhough I am only 25. The only sober years I had were about 2 months before I got pregnant and then until my son was a year and a half old. He is now almost 5.
I have been a daily, solitary drinker for most of my recent drinking since Noah was born. But l met a man that I fell in love with and we became drinking buddies. At first, it was fun. An escape. We would drink casually when my son was sleeping. Nothing big. Then I found myself asking my parents to watch him more and more often so we could booze cruise or just sit and party. He reintroduced me to cocaine. Which I've done almost every time I drink since. I'm at my wits end. 3 years later, and I've lost my job, my home and my parents are taking me for custody of my son. I can't blame them. I created this mess myself.
In the last month my (ex) boyfriend has been arrested twice for assault on me. All while we were drinking. We are so happy together until we drink. We both change. I never thought it would come to this.
I've reached out for help. I'm treaty Indian. In Canada they help you find funding for rehab, which I'm absolutely ready to do. Because there has to be mental issues going on if I act the way I do when I drink. I know I'm depressed. It just seems like it's so much harder finding help than if I were to rob a bank and get court ordered to go. No wonder so many people give up during the process. I went and got a doctor assessment today for a native rehab. Then I find out that treaty won't fund me for that one because it isn't "on their list of acceptable rehabs". Eventhough my aunt went to it twice and it helped her stay clean for 11 years so far.
I feel so at the end of my rope. I keep trying to get help and it seems like the rug gets pulled out from under me. I went and bought a king can today to help cope. I like how warm and mellow it makes me feel to chug it as fast as I can. The doc prescribed me Clonazepam and I take 2 and smoke a joint to try and curb the cravings for alcohol but it's just not the same.
I feel like I just keep trying to get out of this hole, and once I get my grip on the edge, something stomps on my hands and kicks me down.
I'm sorry, I don't really know the purpose of this post. I just needed to vent and my family is tired of hearing me. I guess I just wish someone would give me a hug and tell me the fight is worth it.
I doubt many people made it to the end of this post, but if you have, Thank you for listening.
I don't know how many of you will read this, I just need to vent. I'm an alcoholic. I have been for many years, about 7 eventhough I am only 25. The only sober years I had were about 2 months before I got pregnant and then until my son was a year and a half old. He is now almost 5.
I have been a daily, solitary drinker for most of my recent drinking since Noah was born. But l met a man that I fell in love with and we became drinking buddies. At first, it was fun. An escape. We would drink casually when my son was sleeping. Nothing big. Then I found myself asking my parents to watch him more and more often so we could booze cruise or just sit and party. He reintroduced me to cocaine. Which I've done almost every time I drink since. I'm at my wits end. 3 years later, and I've lost my job, my home and my parents are taking me for custody of my son. I can't blame them. I created this mess myself.
In the last month my (ex) boyfriend has been arrested twice for assault on me. All while we were drinking. We are so happy together until we drink. We both change. I never thought it would come to this.
I've reached out for help. I'm treaty Indian. In Canada they help you find funding for rehab, which I'm absolutely ready to do. Because there has to be mental issues going on if I act the way I do when I drink. I know I'm depressed. It just seems like it's so much harder finding help than if I were to rob a bank and get court ordered to go. No wonder so many people give up during the process. I went and got a doctor assessment today for a native rehab. Then I find out that treaty won't fund me for that one because it isn't "on their list of acceptable rehabs". Eventhough my aunt went to it twice and it helped her stay clean for 11 years so far.
I feel so at the end of my rope. I keep trying to get help and it seems like the rug gets pulled out from under me. I went and bought a king can today to help cope. I like how warm and mellow it makes me feel to chug it as fast as I can. The doc prescribed me Clonazepam and I take 2 and smoke a joint to try and curb the cravings for alcohol but it's just not the same.
I feel like I just keep trying to get out of this hole, and once I get my grip on the edge, something stomps on my hands and kicks me down.
I'm sorry, I don't really know the purpose of this post. I just needed to vent and my family is tired of hearing me. I guess I just wish someone would give me a hug and tell me the fight is worth it.
I doubt many people made it to the end of this post, but if you have, Thank you for listening.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by noahsmama88 
I went and got a doctor assessment today for a native rehab. Then I find out that treaty won't fund me for that one because it isn't "on their list of acceptable rehabs".
I guess I just wish someone would give me a hug and tell me the fight is worth it.
hook up ASAP with a rehab that is on their list
we drunks and addicts can get sober in most any rehab
if
we have a honest desire to get clean and sober
there will be many here who will wish to walk gently with you on this journey
and then others who will show a little tough love
both may be used for your best interest
we have suffered such as you
and our only goal is to help another out from the pit of slow destruction
or possibly a very fast death -- I (we) see it often in the AA and NA Programs
ones that return to their vomit and die from overdose
keep coming back
feel free to share as you wish
MM
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
I hope you are willing to consider a different rehab. In reality, if you are motivated to stop drinking for good, the actual rehab center is less important. If you have funding for one, then take it and go. And, yes, it's worth the fight. And, your son is worth the fight.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,352
Hi Noahsmomma 
I read all your post - I'm glad you've found us - there's a lot of support here
I agree with Anna - work with the Treaty folks - find an approved rehab and start the process of getting your life back
you can do this
D
I read all your post - I'm glad you've found us - there's a lot of support here
I agree with Anna - work with the Treaty folks - find an approved rehab and start the process of getting your life back
you can do this
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 71
It sounds like things have been pretty tough for you these past few years. I think everyone here would agree that the fight IS worth it, even when it is hard and requires decisions we never wanted to have to make. Anyway, good luck getting into a rehab. It sounds like you are ready to start making the changes to get your life back.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Tampa, Fl
Posts: 30
I suggest the serenity prayer. When I first got clean and sober I didnt care much about God or a higher power but I prayed because thats pretty much what everyone told me to do.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference
My perspective of your situation:
Accept you have a problem with substance abuse and your life seems unmanageable
Find the courage to get help however you can
Wisdom: if you continue drinking and drugging nothing will get better only worse. If you make positive changes, better is an inevitability.
I dont know you but I love you and wish you the best. You've already started, keep it going
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference
My perspective of your situation:
Accept you have a problem with substance abuse and your life seems unmanageable
Find the courage to get help however you can
Wisdom: if you continue drinking and drugging nothing will get better only worse. If you make positive changes, better is an inevitability.
I dont know you but I love you and wish you the best. You've already started, keep it going
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi Noahsmama, just to say we are with you on your journey. No-one knows better than you what the stakes are, and how much your little boy needs you. Big hugs, keep going and let us know how you're doing, good or bad.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Getting over physical withdrawals can be one part of getting sober that's important to do under doctor supervision. Alcohol withdrawal, unlike withdrawal from significantly "harder" drugs, can be fatal. I didn't go to rehab so I can't speak from experience on how vital it is.
I can say that I know a LOT of sober people, many with years and decades of sobriety, who did have a stay in treatment. To a person, each of those people would say that their stint in rehab was a good start but it was what they did AFTER rehab that was vital. So, that said, while you may need some help with the physical withdrawal component, there's no reason to not get involved in the recovery / learning to live life sober part right now. That's where the real meat in recovery really is.
I can say that I know a LOT of sober people, many with years and decades of sobriety, who did have a stay in treatment. To a person, each of those people would say that their stint in rehab was a good start but it was what they did AFTER rehab that was vital. So, that said, while you may need some help with the physical withdrawal component, there's no reason to not get involved in the recovery / learning to live life sober part right now. That's where the real meat in recovery really is.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
