Katchie

I've been getting ready all day for my trip and the trip my boys are going on. After bball practice, AH took the kids to eat (my learner permit son drove both times), left them there to eat while he bought a loaf if bread. When he went back to pick the boys up, I was just told by my son that there was a full clear cup if beer (knowing AH it's a high point Belgium beer) sitting on the car floor board. My son, who was really to tired, drove my family home. What happens to my kids, all teens, if AH was pulled over and found with an open container of beer? I knew it, knew it, knew it that he had drank. I'm getting better at being able to tell, but what an SOB for doing that!!!!!!!!

ResignedToWait

This isn't a long term solution, but give your most responsible kid $40 cash. Have him tuck it away in his wallet, hidden.

If this situation arises again, tell him to refuse to drive home...and he can call a taxi for them to get home instead.

Most importantly, tell the kids it's NOT ok to be in the car with AH driving after they know he's been drinking...and the money they'd have would make sure they had an option to get home other than him.

whiskeyman

Now is the time for you to STAND UP and tell him that he needs help.

PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN

You NO LONGER permit the kids in the vehicle with him.
and it doesnt matter if he isnt driving.

hopeful4

It is definitely not acceptable in any way shape or form. I am thinking about you and praying for you. I agree, time to communicate with the kids so they know they have the RIGHT to set boundaries for themselves.

God Bless!

JustAGirl1971

Depends on the state. It could just mean "points" on the license for the underage driver, or it could mean suspension or revocation of driving privileges. Some states have laws that would punish the "adult supervisor."

My brother-in-law has been using my nephew as his dd since nephew got his permit. I don't know why they think this is acceptable???

Upsetnneedhelp

Your son could be charged with "open container" of alcohol and be ticketed. I believe the driver is often time cited as being in possession of anything illegal in the car.

Wisconsin

I agree that this is the most problematic outcome for your son in that situation (open cup of beer in the car), who would also probably be ticketed for being a minor in possession of alcohol, even if it was his father's.

Upsetnneedhelp

It probably is a matter of time before your husband gets a DUI. Nowdays DUI is considered a very serious crime and he could to jail. It's not a very good example for your son either when dad is knocking back beers throughout the drive.

Wisconsin

It is still not very common for a first time DUI offense to result in jail time. Not sure if your husband has any priors. However, you should be aware that in many states, DUI penalties are DOUBLED if there is a minor in the car (and also stiffer penalties for people with really high BAC).

Katchie

I made arrangements where my kids didn't ride w/him and will be staying at a friends house. AH isn't driving either, he's riding with a friend. When I get back home, I will tan to home when I get home.!to talk to him about that means I set boundaries, and I follow thru on consequences and that makes me scared

thislonelygirl

OH WOW. at this point though.....is it really that surprising ? I USE to be surprised and then my ah continued to make POOR RECKLESS AND SELFISH decisions and now i don't trust the hair on his head and i would not trust him to take my children alone anywhere(and hes offered bah!). it's a good thing your son who is old enough was there and is making responsible decisions, even by telling you his father is not! its pretty sad having to trust a teen over an adult but its the truth. also here in texas if your caught drinking and driving with minor children (i think under the age of 14 or 16 something like that) then that's a felony for up to 10 yrs i believe and that's not even the worst, the worst is him showing your impressionable children that its ok to drink and drive and then god forbid something happening.

Mightyqueen801

This is not something you want to play around with.

The horror story that stood out in my mind around the time I was getting rid of my EXAH was of an alcoholic father who was required to blow into a device attached to his car before his car would start. He came to pick up his two little girls for visitation one weekend. He never returned the kids at the end of the weekend, so the mom called the cops. They found them all dead in the car at the bottom of a nearby river. The father was drunk and must have gotten one of the girls to activate the device. I would bet anything that the mother knew in her heart that her ex was drunk and will forever regret allowing her children to leave with him.

My daughter knew that she was not to get into a car with her father if he was drunk, and since I'd done the whole restraining order/go-to-rehab-before-you-get-visitation-rights thing, HE knew I wasn't giving him any wiggle room. I knew that rehab wouldn't actually make him quit drinking, but by requiring him to go through it he knew that if he showed up to pick up our kid with the slightest whiff on his breathe, he wouldn't make it out of town without the cops on his azz. And my daughter knew that if he tried to drive her anywhere when he was drinking, she was to call me immediately.

I also made sure my daughter was educated about alcoholism. As she got older and he would take her out to dinner, SHE set the rule that he could have no more than three beers when he was with her because he acted like a jerk after three. He complied.

I'm sorry that your children have to deal with this.