Holidays, partying, etc without alcohol
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: MS
Posts: 50
Holidays, partying, etc without alcohol
Hi. I'm new here. My sobriety date is 08/09/13. We all know how we got to the point that we decided to quit drinking, because life got out of control with it. BUT, I still deal with alcohol cravings and the feeling that I'm "depriving" myself of having fun.. Boredom is something that I struggle with a lot. It's Halloween night, and everybody and their grandma seems to be getting drunk and partying lol. I'm 26 years old, and now I have to leave the bars behind. When I'm not working, I try to go to the mall, shopping, do my chores or sit at home and be online. I don't go to bars/clubs anymore. I get invited out, but I say no, like I'm a boring person.. I know at heart, it's the best thing not to drink, but I can't escape that desire to drink, almost like a fantasy even.. If that makes any sense at all. I know there's got to be more to life than fighting this every single day. It's not like I wallow in self pity, I make an effort to not let myself get too down. Any ideas or perspective for helping myself to feel better when I'm at home and not partying tonight? O_o
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: San Diego, ca
Posts: 128
I'll be doing the same thing if it makes you feel better. I feel the same way. I have the biggest party in my city literally as soon as I walk out my building. I want to go out for sure but I don't want to tempt myself to drink. It does kinda suck missing out on what might seem like a fun night, but usually they're never as fun as the promise to be anyway, and then consider that you don't want to undue all you're progress. If you've gone this long without drinking, you can do one more day!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Mass
Posts: 85
I hear you! I'm 27 and I'm hanging out at home by myself on a Thursday night. One day at a time right? You sound like you're trying pretty hard to keep yourself occupied. Maybe take up a sport to have something to focus on and to help meet sober friends? I know that for me, running is something that I focus on in my sobriety. It brings me SO MUCH joy, just doing it and the accomplishment of it, but it's something that I can only do when I'm healthy and sober.
Best of luck! Don't worry you're not the only young person out there in this struggle, there's at least 2 of us, ha ha ha.
Best of luck! Don't worry you're not the only young person out there in this struggle, there's at least 2 of us, ha ha ha.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: San Diego, ca
Posts: 128
Hmmm coffee sounds good ill have to make some. Yeah I think my location will pose certain challenges for sure because I live in the middle of downtown right in the middle of like 40 bars and nightclubs
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: MS
Posts: 50
My problem with finding new friends to hang out with, is that I tend to stay at home more and not have the energy to or desire to be around people at all anymore. I noticed that with my drinking, I started becoming anti social up until the time I quit.. And, now, I don't even hang out with people at all anymore really.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Center of Mass
Posts: 622
Halloween was always a strange night. Not only would I drink but if certain chemicals were available ... and they usually were ... I'd do them for no other reason that it was Halloween. I didn't get high while my kids were at the Trick or Treat age but before and after it was straight into the stratosphere. I felt like is was something mystical and deeper than it actually was. So I'd take drugs, drink, and wake up wondering why I had been so foolish.
As I mentioned in another post. Tonight was a sober Halloween. The first in over a decade and I haven't had so much fun since I used to take my kids out.
As I mentioned in another post. Tonight was a sober Halloween. The first in over a decade and I haven't had so much fun since I used to take my kids out.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I think most of us are used to drinking on any occasion, and for most of us our social lives reflected the importance we placed on drinking and getting wasted.
I remember that it was tough sometimes not going out - I felt as tho I was missing out. I felt ridiculous for not being able to enjoy a few drinks and stop there.
I felt bored because my ideas of what to do was limited to 'drink cos that makes any thing mundane bearable'
After a while of abstinence tho, I changed, or rather I reverted to the real me.
I began to find things to do sober, and I began to find new friends who better reflected the new sober me.
Give it a little time guys - things do work out
D
I remember that it was tough sometimes not going out - I felt as tho I was missing out. I felt ridiculous for not being able to enjoy a few drinks and stop there.
I felt bored because my ideas of what to do was limited to 'drink cos that makes any thing mundane bearable'
After a while of abstinence tho, I changed, or rather I reverted to the real me.
I began to find things to do sober, and I began to find new friends who better reflected the new sober me.
Give it a little time guys - things do work out
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 8
Hey Jm, I know exactly how you feel. I recently quit drinking and I have been avoiding all my friends for the past few months since they all drink. Noticed you live in alexandria, I am actually in arlington. Small world.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 249
I'm 26 years old as well, and yeah its definitely an adjustment. "Fun" for me used to be going out and partying... I've gone out to a bar or two sober since being sober and it was really weird, and not fun at all actually.
At times it feels boring, lonely, frustrating and pointless, but when I feel like that I try and ride out the wave... I know that those feelings will pass. In the meantime the little decisions I make are all adding up to a happier, healthier life.
Some sober activities I'm looking forward to this winter are snowboarding, hopefully a concert or two and hitting up the gym and getting in good shape
At times it feels boring, lonely, frustrating and pointless, but when I feel like that I try and ride out the wave... I know that those feelings will pass. In the meantime the little decisions I make are all adding up to a happier, healthier life.
Some sober activities I'm looking forward to this winter are snowboarding, hopefully a concert or two and hitting up the gym and getting in good shape
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,534
The old lady speaks
I just want to jump in here and croak out a "Congratulations and good job," to all of you. I wish I had made the change when I was in my 20s rather than my 40s! You won't regret it. I promise!
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,462
Yea, night like tonight are tough. Everyone is getting dressed up and going out to party. If I could just do it tonight though, it wouldn't really be a problem. If I go out drinking cause it's H-ween, next thing I know I'll be drinking all weekend. And then Monday cause MNF. Then Tuesday cause it's raining, etc.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: MS
Posts: 50
That's exactly why I hesitate to just drink a couple.. In theory, that sounds good... I'll just only do it every once in a while.. But in reality I've tried that a few times in my attempts to quit. I always ended up drinking every night again, and drinking like it's going out of style... so I can't try that again :/
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Ontario
Posts: 392
I am 26 too, I watched horror movies and handed-out candy to little kids tonight. It was enough to keep me sober this Halloween. I am already thinking about Xmas and what new traditions that I am going to start to support my sober lifestyle.
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