Ellvk

Hi there,
I am a very infrequent poster, but a daily reader. My husband is an alcoholic, and we have a 9 year old daughter. She and I are very open about her dad's drinking. She has an individual therapist who works with her on anxiety and adoption related issues (she is from China) and who also works with us regarding her dad's alcoholism and its impact on her/us. I have an individual therapist and alanon. She is too young for Alateen.... and I am wondering what other resources there may be in the world for kids her age???? Books... groups for younger children.... anything. I'm open to ideas. She is struggling with the "disease" concept (of course), and has a hard time with the idea that her dad is not drinking "at" her and "at" me. Her feelings are hurt, she rejects his physical touch (like, does not want him to kiss her with beer breath - which I totally support, as I feel the same way)

Her anger is healthy and appropriate. Mine is too... I am working on next steps. In the meantime, any additional support I can give her, I will.

Thanks in advance!
Ell

hopeful4

I am wondering if you have a Celebrate Recovery where you are? Similar to Alanon and Alateen, AA, etc. Religious based. I ask because some of them have programs called Celebration Station and The Landing for children also that is tied to Celebrate Recovery. The idea is that the entire family can go, age appropriate healing for each age group. It is worth checking out and is free.

Good Luck and God Bless!

Catherine628

My daughter is also 9 and knows about her dad's alcoholism. She has lots of anxiety so I contacted the school guidance counselor. She set up a weekly lunch group. It doesn't necessarily address alcoholism but she has something to look forward to and has more confidence. She sees an individual therapist too. I have found some books geared for kids at one of my al anon groups.

isitme

When I was about 10 or so my mom went to rehab and my parents gave me this book. I'm not sure how much the book has changed in 20 years but I remember it explaining the issue to me in manor that was child appropriate and understandable. Maybe you could see if a local bookstore has a copy so you can read through it before deciding if it might work for you.

"My Dad Loves Me, My Dad Has a Disease" A Child's View: Living with Addiction: Claudia Black: 9780910223232: Amazon.com: Books

I also like the idea of the group through the counselors at school. I was in a girls group in high school and it was one of the best things.

Ellvk

Thank you! I'll look into the book and Celebrate Recovery.

theuncertainty

Hi! Even though it's geared towards younger kids, DS who just turned 9, will still pick up and read "The Brown Bottle" by Penny Jones. We've started talking through "The Elephant in the Living Room - the Children's Book" by Hastings and Typpo. The Elephant book goes into recognizing feelings, discusses addiction as a disease, coping skills, etc.

The Brown Bottle talks about a caterpillar missing out on life's promise to follow the 'special' promises of living in a bottle.

NWGRITS

That's a hard age for kids because they can't really grasp the concept of addiction, only that something isn't right and they are uncomfortable. A peer group at school or meetings with the guidance counselor would be great. I had both of those in elementary school, and then when I reached the teen years, I turned into a rage monster and lost control of myself for about the next ten years. As the disease progressed, so did the family sickness. Nobody was setting up groups for me anymore, and I didn't know how to advocate for myself. I didn't know Alateen existed, but I wish I had. Anyway, doing these things now is going to make her life so much easier in the long run. Don't stop the support groups or therapy... things can unravel so quickly when the hormones kick in!