Toffee1

Haven't put a new thread up here for a while but I am on day 48 and doing pretty well ,heading to my half century!
But tonight is a bit of a test! By the way it is 7.40pm here in wintery England. A combination of triggers are coming together for the perfect storm.
1. My wife is visiting friends and so am left to my own devices ( this is deffo trigger no 1 for me) there is nothing better than being left alone so you can concentrate on the important stuff. Right?
2. British winter time officially started on Saturday. The nights are long and dark and there is not much too do outside for next 4 months! But great conditions for having a hot shower , watching a film on TV and of course open a lovely bottle of Rioja or Merlot etc
3 my AV is telling me I have this thing beaten . You have done 48 days ,you have proven the point, you don't need alcohol . So reward yourself and get the bottle opener!
4. Everything is going well!! Personally and professionally things have never been better. This again is another massive trigger point. I drink to celebrate. I drink when things are going well.

So in a nutshell,everything points to me drinking tonight. But I am not going to!! I am not giving up 48 days just like that. I cannot face going back to day1. During this my latest attempt at sobriety I feel strangely stronger mentally. I put this down to coming here daily and sharing in your triumphs.

So thanks everyone for reading and let's all acknowledge what a fantastic life the sobriety life is!!

Skye2

Confused here - it says 13th sept as your date on your signature That would be the same as mine, which is why I noticed.

Last time I was in Sheffield there was LOADS to do..
There's the Crucible for a start and endless other things, that don't involve boozing - it's an amazing city

doggonecarl

I know exactly what you are going through. I think it was a couple of months into my sobriety, my wife and I were driving somewhere, and she mentions she wants to go up and see her son the upcoming weekend. He was in college.

My first thought, nanoseconds after I heard this was, "I can drink." Which, one, made me feel like a sneaky 12-year-old, and two, makes no sense. If I wanted to drink, I would have drank, wife gone or not.

But my addictive voice was giving me permission. Once I recognized the source of the thinking I was able to move past it and focus on my recovery. The anticipation of my failure was the worst part, like her leaving was a formula for relapse. But it wasn't. The weekend came, I was fine. I had been sober many, many days. I would be sober for that weekend too.

You can do this. You WILL do this.

firstymer

I have experienced many of the same triggers recently, Toffee1. I have addressed them head on. If I am alone in the house when it hits, I find somewhere to go. Anywhere. If I want to drink, I brew a cup of coffee. And maybe a second one if necessary. My buzz was better if I drank on an empty stomach, so when I feel like drinking, I eat. It reduces the urge. I would rather gain a pound and stay sober. Most important, when I am on the brink, I come here to SR. It always works. For me, these urges are like a sudden wave that washes over me. I feel like, "whoa, where did THAT come from?" They literally take my breath away. But I know that for as powerful as the wave is, it always passes. Just like a wave does.

Anyway, congratulations on your resolve to stay sober. Here's to Day 49!

DoubleDragons

Telling on yourself here at SR, like you just did, is a great help. I did it to myself to my October group this past weekend when I was having a huge urge to have one glass of wine to celebrate my wedding anniversary. I felt extremely accountable to them and I also wanted to prove to them (and more importantly to myself) just how strong I have become to resist my cravings.

WhoDey

That exactly captures my thinking and what convinces me that I could never learn to drink in moderation.

When events turned to provide me with unanticipated alone time, my first thought was "I can drink!"

When I was anticipating alone time, but circumstances changed and my alone time evaporated, my first thought was "Dang. I can't drink!"

People who drink in moderation don't think that way. Drinking had become my priority.