PhoebeF

I'm very new to recovery and am having major issues with social anxiety. I have become a complete hermit. I already have issue with anxiety and depression and used alcohol for a long time as a crutch. I can't go out because I have no idea how to feel comfortable at events without my crutch. I'm on 30mg of Lexapro for anxiety and depression but it doesn't seem to be doing much for the anxiety. I would also love to date but have not idea how to go on a date without alcohol. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Ryan8269

Story of my life..... Obviously , the meds are going to have a hard time working when you're drinking. I know what you mean though.... I've actually joined a small group at my church and we meet once a week and I go to the gym everyday ( even though I just shove my headphones in and keep to myself ) ... I even have a hard time at AA meetings feeling anxious... When I had some sober time, I went to therapy and that seemed to help.... Have you thought about that?

doggonecarl

Welcome Phoebe. Congrats on your sober time.

How long sober?

If you are at the early stage, you might want to go ahead and focus on your recovery for now and less on cracking the social barrier. Definitely give your recovery some time before you think about dating.

When you say you don't feel comfortable at "events" without alcohol, what do you mean? What kind of events?

I had all kinds of social situations that made we want to drink, but plenty I felt comfortable in--Going out for coffee, movies, museums, volunteer stuff. Indentify what you can and can't do, and do the ones you can.

PhoebeF

Brand new...I've been sober for two months at a time in the past, went to rehab for 10 days at one point a few years ago...and gritted it out but then a social situation hit...and I caved ...giving it the I'll do it tomorrow deal. I'm ok at work when I'm focused on work. It is more going out to dinner, going to a social gathering at work, football games. You name it. I've just done it so long with alcohol I have no idea how to feel comfortable without...always worrying that I'll be too boring or just wanted to numb myself.

least

to SR! You are not alone. A lot of us here suffer from social anxiety also. Have you thought about counseling? That might be helpful if you had someone to talk to about your fears.

doggonecarl

Then I suggest you put down the drink, today, and retreat to the comfort of you own home. No one cares if you are boring at home. Let the meds you were given work as they are supposed to (no alcohol, I imagine). No going out, no triggers until you garner enough sober time to see if the anxiety is alcohol related.

You might be surprised how much better you will feel after 30 days sober.

And stay close to SR! Good luck.

PhoebeF

I have a counselor for OCD that I'm happy with...I'll try and go to more AA meetings and focus on my recovery. Any meds that can help?

advbike

Meds aren't the answer. You already tried that with alcohol, remember? You just have to just give it some time. Priorities. Perhaps change the venue a bit as others have suggested. I suggest exercise as a way to boost endorphins, make you feel great, and meet healthy, sexy people.

InParticular

Hi Pheobe, just give it time. If hibernate is what you have to do for now, that's fine. The most important thing to do is to not drink and stay away from your triggers, even if it means being alone a lot. I basically didn't go out for the first three months of my sobriety. I have social anxiety too, anxiety disorder and slight agoraphobia. But guess what, it gets easier to deal with the longer you are off of alcohol. You are a strong person, under there somewhere. You have to give her the time and space to come out. You can do it! And keep checking in here, lots. That's what kept me going at the start, and still does actually.

sicknote

This really helped me. I suffer from social phobia, anxiety, depression, probably ADHD. I find social situations difficult, and have panic attacks. Although, the situations that are the worst are when alcohol is present. I start thinking "Oh no! I'm going to get drunk again, when I don't want to, but I've got to because I don't know how to deal with this situation". Well if I go a gym, a coffee shop, the cinema it's not such a big deal. Think I'll be avoiding the alcohol infused situations until I can deal with them, and also will avoid dating too, until I get this whole staying sober malarkey sorted And for me I'm going to avoid other drugs too, I've an addictive personality, so I'd probably abuse anything that would be given to me anyway... like "ohhh check these out! wonder what happens if I take two?" lol

Good luck PhoebeF. I'm a complete hermit too. There is nothing wrong with being comfortable with our own company! There is nothing wrong with being alone. It's society that makes us think this is wrong, but it's not wrong. Drinking to deal with it tho, isn't a good idea.

sicknote.

PhoebeF

Thank you all for the advice!