So sad.

Old 10-30-2013, 05:51 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
readerbaby71's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,778
So sad.

I'm telling my BF he has to move out today. I don't know whether to try to work it out after he has his own place or let him go. He's a good person and I know he loves me. This is about self-preservation and protecting myself and my mental health.

I know I'll be okay, but for now I just want to crawl in a hole and never come out.
readerbaby71 is offline  
Old 10-30-2013, 05:56 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Engineer Things; LOVE People
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
Our hearts are with you.

Remember this is about you taking care of you -- not him nor any drama.

Maybe jump ahead to Step 11? That always gives me some crazy wonderful results.

Step 11:

Sought thru prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

--------------

Dear God, please guide readerbaby on Your Will and Your Way, and give her the wisdom and power to follow them.
Hammer is offline  
Old 10-30-2013, 05:57 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
readerbaby71's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,778
Thanks, just reading that made me tear up. I appreciate your kindness.
readerbaby71 is offline  
Old 10-30-2013, 06:02 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Engineer Things; LOVE People
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
Originally Posted by readerbaby71 View Post
Thanks, just reading that made me tear up. I appreciate your kindness.
aint nothing but a messenger.

Sort of Balaam's ass, if you caught that story.

Go To The Source.
Hammer is offline  
Old 10-30-2013, 06:10 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Ruby2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Sending you the best. Step 11 a good one.
Ruby2 is offline  
Old 10-30-2013, 06:12 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
readerbaby71's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,778
I've realized that no matter what I do I am not capable of detachment in a relationship with someone with so many mental issues. My own issues don't allow me to do that, and it's something I need to work on. Alone. I'm not breaking up with him just because of his actions, but mine also.
readerbaby71 is offline  
Old 10-30-2013, 06:18 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Ruby2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I think i understand. Staying sober is hard enough. More so being wit someone else who is actively using. And being co dependent.

I am trying to find the "courage to change the things that I can" and finding it difficult myself. Hugs.
Ruby2 is offline  
Old 10-30-2013, 06:22 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
 
dandylion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
readerbaby, sometimes the right thing is also the hardest thing. I have a strong feeling that this is one of those times.

Remember the serenity prayer....

sincerely,
dandylion
dandylion is offline  
Old 10-30-2013, 08:28 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
FireSprite's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Originally Posted by readerbaby71 View Post
I've realized that no matter what I do I am not capable of detachment in a relationship with someone with so many mental issues. My own issues don't allow me to do that, and it's something I need to work on. Alone. I'm not breaking up with him just because of his actions, but mine also.
I think this is a huge insight readerbaby, I think you've stumbled across an awareness about yourself that will make a tremendous difference in how you define happiness going forward from this point in life. Not saying this type of introspection is easy, just that going through it & healing it will likely bring you such a greater, healthier sense of peace & happiness afterward. Rootin' for ya!!
FireSprite is offline  
Old 10-30-2013, 09:17 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
hopeful4's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
You know, I told our counselor at marrital counseling the other day (in front of my husband) that I am not saying I want to split up because I love him less, or that he is a terrible person, or out of anger or spite. I HAVE to split up if he is going to continue to drink to preserve my own mental health and that of my children. It was as simple as that. The counselor could see that and for the first time I think my husband was actually listening and understanding this because I was not talking to him, I was talking about myself to the counselor.
I believe it was an eye opener to both myself and to him. I will always love him, he is my husband and the father of our children. However, for my mental health if I have to split from him I will. Love does not trump every single thing in life. It does not get you through your day. It's nice to have and we all need love but in a stable and loving environment.
Good Luck and God Bless. My heart goes out to you!
hopeful4 is offline  
Old 10-30-2013, 09:35 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
lillamy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
You know what the really good news is?
That you don't have to figure it all out today. Or even tomorrow.
When you're lost in the woods, the best thing to do is stop. Figure out where you are. And then move forward in the chosen direction with determination.
lillamy is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:19 PM.