Hammer

Almost earned a 23 Hour chip myself yesterday.

An alanon relapse, that is. Almost.

I know (yeah, knowing has NOTHING to do with this) that I am supposed to be working MY program like I want Mrs. Hammer to be working her program. And for the most part I have been.

But this weekend . . . Saturday morning . . . . Mrs. Hammer was throwing some big (but not really bad) Housekeeping Drama that I needed to teach the boys to hit the toilet when they pee, and this and that, with mops, brooms, buckets flying. She was cleaning everything. Went on for an hour or two, and then over.

And I was wondering what was really going on.

Figured it out Sunday evening. Saturday Morning is her Eating Disorder meeting. (they are just like AA, but only meet once a week, on Saturday Morning).

I started doing some math, and looked back and figured out -- She has found reasons to skip her Eating Disorder meetings for the entire last month.

Come Monday Morning, and I was ready to start screaming and running around in little circles like the little bytch I am.

I almost, almost, almost called her sponsor to tattle on her. (THAT always goes over REALLY BAD, as her sponsor tells her when I do that).

So I held on until noon, and made it to an Alanoon meeting.

As I sat there, you know what I figured out, sitting there "white-knuckling" it?

I have Mrs. Hammer's sponsor on Speed Dial on my phone.

I do not even have MY sponsor listed on my phone.

I have met my enemy and he is me.

Back to MY PROGRAM.

Turning Mrs. Hammer and her meeting-skipping ass over to God.

Go get her, God! Kick her in the ass!

LightInside

Carry on, Hammer, but keep the chuckles coming. You are a good source of comic relief. Is that one of your coping mechanisms?

hopeful4

You have my utmost respect Mr. Hammer. I am not sure I would be able to handle that. I have tattled to my husband's main support person in the past. I try not to but it is hard!
I see your humor as I do alot of the same myself. I think behind all of this with Mrs. Hammer you must be one funny and teriffic guy! Your kids and Mrs. Hammer especially are very lucky to have you!

Katchie

I didn't know that was appropriate to pray such things....

God please, pretty please with sugar on top, kick my AH in the A$$!!! And hard too! Kick it to the grand canyon!

Thanks for the inspiring story.

wysiwyg

Preach!

Hammer

really dunno what is appropriate. God seems to cut me some slack. Suppose He will correct me if needed.

But are talking about the kicking part . . . .

(you gotta hear this)

DROP KICK ME JESUS by BOBBY BARE - YouTube

or the ass part?

The Bible is full of ass . . .

#9 on the Top Ten Thou Shall Not List . . . . Neither shalt thou desire thy neighbour's wife, neither shalt thou covet thy neighbour's house, his field, or his manservant, or his maidservant, his ox, or his ass, or any thing that is thy neighbour's.

So leave your neighbor's ass alone.

===============

But my favorite ass in the Bible is Balaam's ass.

My kids fall down laughing when I read this story -- it is about an Angel speaking out of Balaam's ass.

From Numbers 22

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21 And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab.

22 And God's anger was kindled because he went: and the angel of the Lord stood in the way for an adversary against him. Now he was riding upon his ass, and his two servants were with him.

23 And the ass saw the angel of the Lord standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and the ass turned aside out of the way, and went into the field: and Balaam smote the ass, to turn her into the way.

24 But the angel of the Lord stood in a path of the vineyards, a wall being on this side, and a wall on that side.

25 And when the ass saw the angel of the Lord, she thrust herself unto the wall, and crushed Balaam's foot against the wall: and he smote her again.

26 And the angel of the Lord went further, and stood in a narrow place, where was no way to turn either to the right hand or to the left.

27 And when the ass saw the angel of the Lord, she fell down under Balaam: and Balaam's anger was kindled, and he smote the ass with a staff.

28 And the Lord opened the mouth of the ass, and she said unto Balaam, What have I done unto thee, that thou hast smitten me these three times?

29 And Balaam said unto the ass, Because thou hast mocked me: I would there were a sword in mine hand, for now would I kill thee.

30 And the ass said unto Balaam, Am not I thine ass, upon which thou hast ridden ever since I was thine unto this day? was I ever wont to do so unto thee? and he said, Nay.

31 Then the Lord opened the eyes of Balaam, and he saw the angel of the Lord standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and he bowed down his head, and fell flat on his face.

32 And the angel of the Lord said unto him, Wherefore hast thou smitten thine ass these three times? behold, I went out to withstand thee, because thy way is perverse before me:

33 And the ass saw me, and turned from me these three times: unless she had turned from me, surely now also I had slain thee, and saved her alive.

34 And Balaam said unto the angel of the Lord, I have sinned; for I knew not that thou stoodest in the way against me: now therefore, if it displease thee, I will get me back again.

35 And the angel of the Lord said unto Balaam, Go with the men: but only the word that I shall speak unto thee, that thou shalt speak. So Balaam went with the princes of Balak.

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Some day I aspire to be merely as wise as Balaam's ass.

Hammer

THIS Saturday Morning.

(what a difference a week makes . . . along with A Whole Lotta Prayer, I reckon)

Mrs. Hammer is off for BOTH her Eating Disorder Meeting and a session at T (therapy).

The Kids and I are rummaging through Halloween Candy.

(and cleaning the house some, so we do not have anymore toilet aiming related crisis).

11 y.o. Daughter is telling tales of Pixie Stick Drama/Trauma.

This morning off to the park to practice Bike Riding for the 9 y.o. Cub Scout, practice Wind Sprint runs with Daughter (already fastest girl in her class, but I figure she might as well nail Varsity her H.S. Freshman Year), and all accompanied by the 6 y.o. as our Scooter Wingman. Guess I gotta RUN. I mean really RUN.

And catching up with Mrs. Hammer after lunch and her T-time.

The song playing in my Hammer-Head . . .

The Life I Lead - Walt Disney's Mary Poppins - YouTube

hmmmm, I have -- Give Us an Attitude of Gratitude -- on my Prayers List so,

Soooooo . . . .

THANK YOU, SR.
THANK YOU, ALANON.

And

THANK YOU, GOD!