Stash

So ive been sober now for 11 months. Ive noticed a lot of changes in my life so far. I used to enjoy the company of others while drinking, thinking it was the best time i ever had. Like every night was going to be so epic bc i had some beers. Now i cant enjoy myself while at a party where everyone is drinking, bc its the same thing every time. everyone has the same conversations, same jokes, talk about the same people they dont like , talk about how they deserve to be able to drink when ever they want. Sad thing is i didnt notice any of this til i sobered up. I thought back to all the time i said i can drink.bc i dont have children not even once thinking about how it affected my nieces and nephews. My niece just recently told.me she used to want to drink more so that i would drink with her and spend time with her. I was so mad at myself for making her feel that way, im happy she is sober now as well. Im a little upset with myself for the way i used to be, it makes me feel embarrassed of myself. My old way of life was so childish, selfish and mean. I was a bully. Im doing my best to change my attitude about myself, to allow myself to heal and be happy.

I miss my friends tho.... I really do, they have no interest in me anymore. it makes me want to drink , but i know if i have a drink , ill keep drinking for atleast 14 hours . I wont stop at one drink. I hate that feeling of wanting to hold a beer or taste it and feel that buzz. i held a cup of spiced rum for my friend while she tried to light a smoke and im mot kidding...... My whole body twitched bc i had to stop myself from taking a drink and i gave it back and i went home. Just something i had to share. next month i will be a year sober, makes me wonder what ill be like next month, i feel like a different person every month lol.

Dee74

Congrats on the 11 months Stash

I found I changed a lot as a sober person from who I used to be. Maybe you need some new friends - ones who better reflect who you are now?

D

ReadyAtLast

Congrats on 11 months stash.I can relate as nearly at 11 months too. I never go out now at night but I'm happy at home. Maybe it's time to look for new friends through different actvities.I've made new friends,none of whom drink. I would never have been able to be friends with non drinkers before but now I know I do notwant to be friends with drinkers. They're not really friends anyway,just drinking buddies.

Please don't throw your 11 months away. It is hard at times but I just remember life was a hell of a lot harder most of the time when drinking.

aasharon90

With following a program of recovery
and using the tools and knowledge
of my alcoholism in my everyday life,
never do I ever have to place myself
in situations that would make me squirrely,
anxious, or what to drink.

Today, my sobriety means more to me
than anything else, because with out
my recovery I wouldn't have anything else.

Im glad that I can recognize people, places
and things I need to stay away from that are
not good for my recovery and peace of mind.

So can you.

least

Recovery is a time of change. It will keep getting better as long as you stay sober.


Congrats on 11 months sober!

Anna

It's hard to accept that your friends no longer want to spend time with you now that you're sober. It sounds like you see the value in your recovery and the positive changes you've made in yourself. It could be time to consider some new friends who appreciate the person that you've become.

dwtbd

Stash hope you are feeling more positive now, from an objective read of your post it sounds like the AV is really raising a ruckus . Congrats on 11 months , that's awesome.
You say that you really miss your friends and that they seem to have no interest in you anymore. From my read of your post that's awesome too. You said you were a selfish,childish, mean uncaring bully, that's when they were your friends,right?
You must be a different person now. I obviously don't know you, but I do like the image of a now caring uncle, that's what I am going to see in my minds eye when I see your screen name.
Wish you well

MIRecovery

I found that long term recovery was about change. I developed sober friends, found fun things to do that did not involve alcohol, I stayed away from places where alcohol was present.

I had to create a new sober life not try to repair my old drinking life.