hwga1977

hi! i am very new. my boyfriend of three years just went through delirium tremens in the ICU and I am trying to get him d/c to an inpatient rehab. i am looking for people who have gone through a similar experience, and i am going to join al anon.

not to overstate the obvious, but i am terrified, guilty, ashamed of myself, and embarrassed.

i really hope there is someone out there who can at least refer me to someone to help. i am meeting with a social worker in the hospital today after work.

thanks everyone.

FeelingGreat

Hi hwga1977, I'm sorry you're going through this but you will find many people on SR who have been in a similar place. The best place to find them is on the 'Family and Friends of Alcoholics' part of this forum.
Why are you feeling ashamed and guilty? It's your boyfriend who has been through DTs in ICU, not you. It sounds like you are taking on his problems, which are not yours. I suggest you spend some time reading the Stickies at the top of the F&F of A forum, which will give you a crash course in being a partner of an active A….
For the other responders it might help to give some non-identifying information on where you live.
All the best, stay calm.

resolute50

Hello and welcome to SR.
I don't know much about DTs,but I'm glad that your BF had help when he was going through them.
I'm sure when you meet with the social work they'll explain everything.
Don't be scared. This could very well be a turning point in his life and sometimes good comes from what seems like very bad things.

least

to SR! You've come to a very supportive site. Here's a link to our friends and family forum.

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Dee74

welcome hwga - there's tons of support here. I'm really glad you found SR
Hope the meeting with the social worker helps


D

Dino123

Welcome to the forum,

I am sure that your BF feels more ashamed and more guilty ( or at least he should ) than you. He is the addict, not you.

I felt like a piece of **** after my DT's and seizures. My GF was holding my hand and asking the doctors if I would die. After few weeks it started to eat me alive realizing what kind of a scar I had made in her soul.

So be proud that you stuck by him and gave him support. Many people would just turn their back or leave their partners. You stayed and supported him

That is a win in my book.

Skye2

Dino, I understand where you're coming from, but for someone to have DTs, they've not really got to that stage out of choice/selfishness in my opinion. If the guy had, had a diabetic coma situation, should he still feel guilty?
Alcoholism, in my opinion, is no less of an illness.
Any guilt or shame should be reserved for if he refuses to seek help now

hwga1977

yeah, i can't really compete with alcohol. today he meets with social work and psych and starts making his own decisions. i told him very simply last night that i love him but i don't love his addiction. i want to live with him but i will not live with his addiction. i said you will be meeting with people tomorrow who are going to ask you what you want the next step to be. i said if you choose a path of recovery i will support you no matter what. if you do not choose to get serious help, i will not support you. then i said you have some big decisions to make tomorrow, i wish you the best with them. and i kissed him and left.

god i hate today.

Citrus

Welcome to SR
It sounds like you are doing the right thing to me. You have to take care of yourself. Stay strong. I'm sure this site will be of much help to you. My thoughts are with you and your boyfriend.