Freaked out
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 3
Freaked out
I have had 3 blackouts in my life and the last one was lastnight. I hate it, I'm afraid that both my wife and I are alcoholics and I want to get better. After the last one I quite drinking for 3 months and it went fairly well. However my wife continued to drink and eventually I came back to it. Started again with one or 2 beers now I'm back to hard alcohol and getting wasted. I am binge drinker. I don't drink at all weekdays then drink myself to passing out on weekends. However last night I drank "14 hour energy shot (not a typo really 14)" And came to around 4 am shaking on my bathroom floor in a pool of my own vomit. My wife described me acting totally out of character at the party(hitting on girls, picking people up and carrying them around, telling everyone to squeeze my muscles, ect). The biggest problem being that I'm 6'8" And an avid powerliffter. Nobody could curb my actions last night including me. I just hate this feeling today. My wife is surprisingly not nearly as mad at me as she has very right to be but I hate myself. Truth is I feel like have reached a tipping point and I really want to change for good. I've never been to a meeting and I'm scared/embarrassed to do so. While searching blackouts on Google I found this forum and am laying here in bed writing this belated cry for help in hope some one will reply and help me understand where to go from here.
A side note:my other to blackouts occurred while taking Zoloft which I do not take anymore. They were much worse in regards to my actions and the things I said and did. That's what prompted me to stop drinking the first time.
A side note:my other to blackouts occurred while taking Zoloft which I do not take anymore. They were much worse in regards to my actions and the things I said and did. That's what prompted me to stop drinking the first time.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 457
Find an AA meeting in your area.
There's nothing to be ashamed of for seeking help, there seems to be more shame in acting the way you did last night.
The people at AA are not scary, they are just like you, they have reached a tipping point in their alcohol consumption and want to change that aspect of their lives.
It is a wonderful thing to have the kind of support you find in AA.
There's nothing to be ashamed of for seeking help, there seems to be more shame in acting the way you did last night.
The people at AA are not scary, they are just like you, they have reached a tipping point in their alcohol consumption and want to change that aspect of their lives.
It is a wonderful thing to have the kind of support you find in AA.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Congratulation on being honest about your drinking habits, chances are if you continue it will get worse as shown in so many post on this site. As stated AA is for people who want to stop drinking, it's helped millions in the last 75 years who wanted help. Most sites like this are a help and have good people ready to assist you also. All recovering alcoholics have made the first step to recovery by taking it even if it's uncomfortable. It's far less so than being in prison or a locked mental unit. BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK (England)
Posts: 2,782
Welcome Big007, reaching out here and asking for help is a good choice. Although i don't currently go to AA when i first decided to quit drinking i did attend some meetings and found them to be welcoming and supportive. It helped me a lot to be around people who understood what i was going through. This site is also a brilliant place for support and understanding and it's an important part of my recovery. I'm glad you have joined us.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello, and welcome.
The point to go to now, for me if I were in your shoes anyway, is to stop drinking.
I know all too well how you expressed it. Laying in bed the day after just wishing it would be over. The loathing the self hatred for my behavior and top it all off with a wicked hangover.
My weekend drinking led to weekday drinking binges. Alcoholism is progressive and, if you're anything like me, it will get worse.
It will be tough with your wife being an alcoholic, also. But I had drinking buddies who I constantly hung with. Some of them are dead now. Does your wife want to quit?
Don't mean to scare you, just relate my experience. You're in a rough situation. Wish I had some cure all message to give you, but just know you're not alone.
Try and remember how you feel now next time you feel like a drink. The memories of the horrors I went through help keep me sober. And I was a bad drunk.
Best to you and your wife. There's great support here.
The point to go to now, for me if I were in your shoes anyway, is to stop drinking.
I know all too well how you expressed it. Laying in bed the day after just wishing it would be over. The loathing the self hatred for my behavior and top it all off with a wicked hangover.
My weekend drinking led to weekday drinking binges. Alcoholism is progressive and, if you're anything like me, it will get worse.
It will be tough with your wife being an alcoholic, also. But I had drinking buddies who I constantly hung with. Some of them are dead now. Does your wife want to quit?
Don't mean to scare you, just relate my experience. You're in a rough situation. Wish I had some cure all message to give you, but just know you're not alone.
Try and remember how you feel now next time you feel like a drink. The memories of the horrors I went through help keep me sober. And I was a bad drunk.
Best to you and your wife. There's great support here.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
I had blackouts in the last months of my drinking and, to this day, thinking about them scares me. There are pieces of my life that I can't account for, that I have zero recollection of. It's so very scary. I hope that you decide to stop drinking.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
With this link you can find an AA meeting anywhere in the world.
Alcoholics Anonymous : HOW TO FIND A.A. MEETINGS
Let us know how it goes.
Alcoholics Anonymous : HOW TO FIND A.A. MEETINGS
Let us know how it goes.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
Welcome Big, I'm another, former binge drinker, weekend warrior. Odds are good that the blackouts will become more frequent if you continue drinking the way you're currently drinking. Blackouts are one sign of alcoholism. I don't know if you're an alcoholic, but it sounds like you may want to seriously consider stopping altogether. IMO, things will just get worse and not better.
Whatever you do, stick around here. There is a lot of information and support on this forum. Believe me, there are at least a few people, if not many, on this site who have experienced what you're experiencing.
Whatever you do, stick around here. There is a lot of information and support on this forum. Believe me, there are at least a few people, if not many, on this site who have experienced what you're experiencing.
that's one way to handle the problem that works pretty well for a lot of people.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 3
Thank you all so much. I just read your comments to my wife and we are both in tears. I need to fix this desperately and your words of encouragement have helped me to make this important decision. I hope this is day one of the rest of my life.
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