methodman1019

Whenever I get to around the 2 month mark, I notice a huge change in how I'm feeling. It's a wonderful feeling. I feel really alive, sooo very grateful upon waking each day with a clear head and a little extra jump in my step, a feeling of giddiness and anxiousness (a much better version than what I dealt with in the throws of my addiction, which was close to debilitating). I feel like I want to jump out of my skin, but it's more a feeling I want to get up and conquer the world and all the things i'Ve been missing.

Oddly, this is a time where my AV is soooo very strong. It's constantly nagging --wanting me to fear this newness that I've not experienced in so long, if ever. So I start to fear these feelings. My Av obviously doesn't like it. It wants me to just curl up and isolate and get in my bottle of Bud.

I once tried to explain this feeling to a therapist. I wanted to explain that this is the time where I usually cave and crumble. He looked at me very oddly when I said I fear getting sober and feeling good. I couldn't explain it before, but I think I'm starting to see that it's the fear of this new feeling that I'm just not even remotely familiar with. So it's the fear of the unfamiliar. My AV doesn't like it and is ready to pounce.

I'm interested if anyone else has had this experience?


Time to conquer the world, I guess...everyone have a beautiful weekend.

All the best,
Methodman

ImperfectlyMe

Hey methodman(wu tang ) I 100% know what you are feeling. It's a happy manic frenzie of emotion. The unhealthy part of our brain almost doesn't have the ability to process such greatness...yet. Self sabotage in order to return to being miserable. But guess what...... You DO deserve to feel this good forever!

Congrats on 2 months

dizzychainsaw

Sometimes I think we are afraid of success just as much as we are afraid of failure. I think some of us feel like we don't deserve good things like happiness and love. Its hard adjusting to a new way of life. We do deserve success and happiness and love. We don't have to punish ourselves forever. I myself have dealt with a lot of guilt and shame along with low self esteem. Everything starts to get better when I am sober.

Johnston

My biggest trigger is when things are going great in my life. I relate to what you're saying.

IOAA2

This may be called the "pink cloud", sort of like the world is a wonderful. I'd say enjoy it and at the same time watch the thinking process as it may change to : things are great now so perhaps I can enjoy one as this day was so wonderful. As said in AA watch out we deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling and insidious. It can lay waiting for many years. BE WELL

jazzfish

They way I've heard it and it makes sense to me is that as long as we drink, we have an excuse for our problems and failures. When we take away the drink, then our talents and abilities are laid bare. Our life is now up to us and that scares the hell out of me. I start pondering all the 'what ifs' for everything I want to improve in life.

Dee74

I think you'll find a lot of us know what you mean.

I felt uncomfortable being comfortable. Being happy scared me because I felt I didn't deserve it.

I expected catastrophe.

My drinking was a self fulfilling prophecy that absolved me from responsibility and having to grow...I didn;t have to try new things (and maybe fail) as a drunk.

As bad as it got, drunkeness was always familiar to me in a way sobriety wasn't.

That's why recovery for me was so much more than simply putting down the drink - I had a heck of a lot of other stuff going on too.

GroundhogDay

I reached that ridiculously happy stage at one month. At almost six months, I am over that phase. I have had the luxury of truly changing my life, and I am in the process of doing so. Unfortunately, I have also experienced some very stressful and time-consuming problems that are happily now behind me and that I did not drink to cope with. I feel like I am at a place now where I need to up my game to reach my goals, but still find time to enjoy life.

trudgingagain

I remember someone telling me a long time ago that alcoholics create their own drama. For me...it has (previously) taken about 3 months for the fog to really lift.

Twofish

Dear Methodman, My AD lives with me. She has these bursts of energy and positiveness, I worry, whats happening? Then I see where Dizzy explained "we deserve good things like happiness and love", I think my girl does, she had come so far and worked so hard. She will just have to learn how to ignore that AV in her. Enjoy and embrace your newly found sobriety, she and everyone affected with addiction deserves happiness and love. Maybe, could you just let it happen? Don't fight or question it? Little children don't and they are fine, so why can't the addict just accept these good feeling that sobriety offers? Plus there's no hangover to deal with. Thanks for posting! Have a spooky good week end. Trick or treating is today, the goblins will be here soon...boooo! TF

methodman1019

Thanks Twofish and all who have responded. Now that I recognize this feeling for what it is, I will just "sit" with it and find the things that make me happy -- maybe discover some things I never knew would make me happy and fulfilled. I certainly deserve to be happy after all the turmoil that addiction has caused.

All the best,
Methodman

sugarbear1

2 months in and your body cells really miss that alcohol....mine did

like Dee, feeling comfortable was uncomfortable and I would create anxiety and problems at that time.....then I learned to stop doing that

Make that decision not to drink and keep moving forward!!! You can stay stopped!

dwtbd

I am at a few months sober and in no danger of thinking I can drink ever again, if I did it would be just a prelude to putting a bullet in my head. That said, my AV must have switched tactics. What is it with dreams of meeting old flames and ending up drunk?
Actually does make me curious about what if any influence the mid or lizard brain can have on whatever region of the brain is in charge of the night time picture shows.