Always Positive
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Brive-la-Gaillarde, Correze
Posts: 77
Always Positive
Hello Everyone
I've just joined this site. I am three years sober and I really hope that I can be of some help to anyone who needs it. I am extremely positive and love my sober life. I live in central France and when I decided to give up drinking I found that there were no support groups in my area, so I decided "to go it alone". I have absolutely no regrets. Now I am more afraid of drinking than living without it. My days are such a joy in my fully conscious state.
I hope I am able to contribute to this site. I believe that anyone can be sober with the right environment. I was lucky and I am very aware that for some of you it is a lot harder than it was for me.
I have lived with alcoholism all my life. My mother was an alcoholic. My first husband was an alcoholic. My present husband is a boozer (a controlled alcoholic who is doing well). And then there was me. Sobriety is freedom to me but it took me many steps to get here.
I am not a advocate of the AA programme, although I know it works for many people. I think whatever works for you is brilliant, but for me there are too many parts of the programme that don't fit with my psyche! However, I did participate in AA with my ex-husband. I went to Al-Anon and Families Anonymous when I was in my twenties. But when I gave up aged 46 I decided it wasn't for me - even if there had been a local meeting.
So that's enough for now. I'm looking forward to meeting you all.
Best wishes
I've just joined this site. I am three years sober and I really hope that I can be of some help to anyone who needs it. I am extremely positive and love my sober life. I live in central France and when I decided to give up drinking I found that there were no support groups in my area, so I decided "to go it alone". I have absolutely no regrets. Now I am more afraid of drinking than living without it. My days are such a joy in my fully conscious state.
I hope I am able to contribute to this site. I believe that anyone can be sober with the right environment. I was lucky and I am very aware that for some of you it is a lot harder than it was for me.
I have lived with alcoholism all my life. My mother was an alcoholic. My first husband was an alcoholic. My present husband is a boozer (a controlled alcoholic who is doing well). And then there was me. Sobriety is freedom to me but it took me many steps to get here.
I am not a advocate of the AA programme, although I know it works for many people. I think whatever works for you is brilliant, but for me there are too many parts of the programme that don't fit with my psyche! However, I did participate in AA with my ex-husband. I went to Al-Anon and Families Anonymous when I was in my twenties. But when I gave up aged 46 I decided it wasn't for me - even if there had been a local meeting.
So that's enough for now. I'm looking forward to meeting you all.
Best wishes
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 223
Hey Gaudi, welcome. I'm at the end of day 6 and looking forward to waking up sober again tomorrow. I'm very interested to hear how you managed to stay sober without outside help. I've been trying to go it alone for the better part of 2 years with no luck. Couldn't even get past 2 weeks. I joined AA 2 weeks agi and have been to 6 meetings so far. I would like to go to less meetings than 3 a week and hope to be secure enough in my sobriety for that to be possible at some point. I'm sure I speak for lots of people here when I say that I would love to hear your full story. Very interesting and very rare to find someone with this kind of success without meetings etc. I do hope you will tell your story. I look forward to chatting with you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Brive-la-Gaillarde, Correze
Posts: 77
My journey to sobriety
I wrote my "story" earlier but I think I pressed the wrong button as it doesn't seem to be listed, so I will now start again. Forgive me for repeating if any of you have already read this story.
First of all I want to say that whatever works for you is excellent. I wanted to thank Flujays for telling me about what is happening and for asking for my story.
Well done. Six days is huge and keep positive and you will succeed. I want you to know that while I am not a "member" of AA I am not against it by any means. If it works for you stick with it. I have a godfather who was nearly at death's door when he gave up drinking. He went to AA meetings for many years and now he is 32 years sober. So it works for so many people and if you are one of them, don't fix it!
I live in the middle of rural France and AA meetings are few and far between. Our nearest is an hour and a half drive from home and I decided that the cost of the petrol and the journey time would prove counterproductive in my bid to stay sober. So I decided to go it alone.
I felt that it would be easier to give up if I gave myself time to adjust to the idea, so I set a date about six months ahead. During the months prior to the date I brainwashed myself. I thought long and hard about the negatives of drinking more than two bottles of wine per day. My face was puffy, I was overweight, I had a rash around one eye, my teeth were permanently "black" because my booze of choice was red wine, it cost a lots of money, I slept badly, I was losing control of my bowel movements and so on. I also dreamed about what a sober life would be like.
By the time the date arrived I was more than ready. I'd nearly given up before the date I'd decided on but realised that that would offer a reason to feel deprived when the time came. So I drank heavily and completed the time allotted in a haze of hangovers and exhaustion. We took a one week holiday and on the final night I drank my last glass of red. I arrived home the next day as a sober, non-drinking alcoholic.
I've never looked back. The beginning wasn't easy of course but somehow it was easier than being drunk. People around me were either supportive or "frightened"! Some were in denial that I was an alcoholic. No doubt many of you have been through the same kind of reactions.
Ultimately I knew it was ONLY about me. It was only me who could do it. And it was only me who had to live it. And it was only me who was choosing life over death and living over inebriation. There were temptations and drunk people drove me nuts for a while but now I just thank god I'm sober and that I don't look quite as foolish as they do.
I am loud and proud about my sobriety. I don't believe we should be ashamed of something that is a disease and I think we should be proud that we are fighting the fight, even if we sometimes falter in our efforts. I have no regrets about suffering from this disease as it has taught me so so much.
I don't say I am a "recovering alcoholic" but that I am an alcoholic who doesn't drink, or that I am a sober alcoholic. Recovering sounds too hard, too laborious and I feel much more positive than that.
I don't do a day at a time because I've always felt that that requires too much thinking about it and it give me the option to "take a day off"! Just for today! Yeah right! So for me it is NEVER (except maybe if I am very very old!) and the answer to any of those silly "head arguments" is simply "no".
I have no higher power because I feel more in control when I keep all the responsibility squarely, and firmly, on my shoulders. And I choose to stay sober with joy, not with a heavy heart.
I am open about my addiction. I never deny it. I embrace it as part of me and I see it as a challenge that I meet and that has made me stronger. I have received a lot of support and much admiration from my friends and family and I am humbled by it, but also quietly proud!
My life is wonderful now. I am fully conscious and I love every day. I sleep well, I eat well, I take exercise, I read (and can focus on the words) and I love those around me with an open, healthy heart.
I am still an addict and I have been gentle with myself when I "cross-addicted" to shopping and sugar!!!! Now I am working to keep both in moderation and trying to be addicted to walking the dogs and reading instead!!!! I slip up occasionally but I NEVER open the red wine so it's allowed.
I don't think us "addicted souls" can ever really live in moderation all the time but we can try. It is my life's work and I am loving the challenge.
If any of you ever need a sounding board please don't hesitate. Thank you for your warm welcome and I look forward to "being here". Best wishes.
First of all I want to say that whatever works for you is excellent. I wanted to thank Flujays for telling me about what is happening and for asking for my story.
Well done. Six days is huge and keep positive and you will succeed. I want you to know that while I am not a "member" of AA I am not against it by any means. If it works for you stick with it. I have a godfather who was nearly at death's door when he gave up drinking. He went to AA meetings for many years and now he is 32 years sober. So it works for so many people and if you are one of them, don't fix it!
I live in the middle of rural France and AA meetings are few and far between. Our nearest is an hour and a half drive from home and I decided that the cost of the petrol and the journey time would prove counterproductive in my bid to stay sober. So I decided to go it alone.
I felt that it would be easier to give up if I gave myself time to adjust to the idea, so I set a date about six months ahead. During the months prior to the date I brainwashed myself. I thought long and hard about the negatives of drinking more than two bottles of wine per day. My face was puffy, I was overweight, I had a rash around one eye, my teeth were permanently "black" because my booze of choice was red wine, it cost a lots of money, I slept badly, I was losing control of my bowel movements and so on. I also dreamed about what a sober life would be like.
By the time the date arrived I was more than ready. I'd nearly given up before the date I'd decided on but realised that that would offer a reason to feel deprived when the time came. So I drank heavily and completed the time allotted in a haze of hangovers and exhaustion. We took a one week holiday and on the final night I drank my last glass of red. I arrived home the next day as a sober, non-drinking alcoholic.
I've never looked back. The beginning wasn't easy of course but somehow it was easier than being drunk. People around me were either supportive or "frightened"! Some were in denial that I was an alcoholic. No doubt many of you have been through the same kind of reactions.
Ultimately I knew it was ONLY about me. It was only me who could do it. And it was only me who had to live it. And it was only me who was choosing life over death and living over inebriation. There were temptations and drunk people drove me nuts for a while but now I just thank god I'm sober and that I don't look quite as foolish as they do.
I am loud and proud about my sobriety. I don't believe we should be ashamed of something that is a disease and I think we should be proud that we are fighting the fight, even if we sometimes falter in our efforts. I have no regrets about suffering from this disease as it has taught me so so much.
I don't say I am a "recovering alcoholic" but that I am an alcoholic who doesn't drink, or that I am a sober alcoholic. Recovering sounds too hard, too laborious and I feel much more positive than that.
I don't do a day at a time because I've always felt that that requires too much thinking about it and it give me the option to "take a day off"! Just for today! Yeah right! So for me it is NEVER (except maybe if I am very very old!) and the answer to any of those silly "head arguments" is simply "no".
I have no higher power because I feel more in control when I keep all the responsibility squarely, and firmly, on my shoulders. And I choose to stay sober with joy, not with a heavy heart.
I am open about my addiction. I never deny it. I embrace it as part of me and I see it as a challenge that I meet and that has made me stronger. I have received a lot of support and much admiration from my friends and family and I am humbled by it, but also quietly proud!
My life is wonderful now. I am fully conscious and I love every day. I sleep well, I eat well, I take exercise, I read (and can focus on the words) and I love those around me with an open, healthy heart.
I am still an addict and I have been gentle with myself when I "cross-addicted" to shopping and sugar!!!! Now I am working to keep both in moderation and trying to be addicted to walking the dogs and reading instead!!!! I slip up occasionally but I NEVER open the red wine so it's allowed.
I don't think us "addicted souls" can ever really live in moderation all the time but we can try. It is my life's work and I am loving the challenge.
If any of you ever need a sounding board please don't hesitate. Thank you for your warm welcome and I look forward to "being here". Best wishes.
AlmA
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Marbella Spain
Posts: 714
Welcome Gaudi,
I love positive people, I admire you, no matter how much it rains you smile
I am sure you have a lot of wisdom to offer and you can find a lot of support here, promise.
Good to have you here
I love positive people, I admire you, no matter how much it rains you smile
I am sure you have a lot of wisdom to offer and you can find a lot of support here, promise.
Good to have you here
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Thank you Gaudi. I guess you do not have a problem with temptations when your husband drinks in front of you? That is always difficult for me. Seeing it, smelling it, etc. I live alone however so do not have to face the temptation every day.
Thanks for sharing your great success story. I just looked up some pictures of your city in France - it looks wonderful! I LOVE France. You are so fortunate to live there.
Thanks for sharing your great success story. I just looked up some pictures of your city in France - it looks wonderful! I LOVE France. You are so fortunate to live there.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Brive-la-Gaillarde, Correze
Posts: 77
At the beginning it was difficult. For the first three months he only drank socially but then he was back to normal. He also struggles with it, and has been battling with moderation. Now he tends to drink in the evenings when I'm tucked up with my book! I used to get cravings when I saw a bottle of red wine being opened but I am better now. People seem to drink a lot here and there is a lot of denial. I just try to stay focussed on "me" and "my choice" and say to myself that what other people do is nothing to do with me. Good luck to you. Try using my bubble method - I make a bubble around myself and my clean life and then nothing bad can touch me. Also make the most of the end of evenings when people are less than sober, making no sense, repeating themselves etc. Eventually just the thought of being like them stops the cravings when the booze is around. Try to be a distant observer of their behaviour. You will win. Honestly.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Brive-la-Gaillarde, Correze
Posts: 77
Two more thoughts: I think it must be difficult living alone and trying to stay sober. You have no one to hide it from but yourself. I think you must be very strong.
We have a booze cupboard and a stocked wine cellar!!!!!!! And, yes, I love living here and it is so beautiful. Shame about the wine!
We have a booze cupboard and a stocked wine cellar!!!!!!! And, yes, I love living here and it is so beautiful. Shame about the wine!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Wow - you have developed some really powerful tools Gaudi. I really like the "positive bubble"! I also wanted to comment that I like your approach of "never" vs "one day at a time". I much prefer the former approach also and have taken it for myself. It is so much easier in many ways. For example whenever the AV starts to talk to me I kill it immediately and move on.
I also find AA meetings to be too negative for me at times (I often felt like drinking afterwards and wondered if my life was going to become an addiction to AA) and think the positive approach is better for me also. However, I am the first to acknowledge that if someone can't do it on their own AA is a fine place to gain support and tools, and I found helpful and supportive people there.
Living alone is not a problem for me. I am friendly person and enjoy coffee shops and such, but am naturally a loner and too much social interaction wears me out. So I come home and have the peace and quiet that I need. Of course my dream is to have a sober partner someday
I also find AA meetings to be too negative for me at times (I often felt like drinking afterwards and wondered if my life was going to become an addiction to AA) and think the positive approach is better for me also. However, I am the first to acknowledge that if someone can't do it on their own AA is a fine place to gain support and tools, and I found helpful and supportive people there.
Living alone is not a problem for me. I am friendly person and enjoy coffee shops and such, but am naturally a loner and too much social interaction wears me out. So I come home and have the peace and quiet that I need. Of course my dream is to have a sober partner someday
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