RedSoxGirl

well I finally did it, I packed up our dog and moved out (almost - I have to move everything in the apt into storage since it's all mine). I'm with my mom and left my S&AB (and suicidal) boyfriend (really tempted to right SOB right now lol), at our nice, comfy rented condo (I can't afford the rent on my own, and if he was sober he could...let's see how fast he's evicted when Miss Responsible here isn't there to pick up the pieces).

My question is: I'm angry (of course), hurt, determined to move on with my life...but late at night when it's quietier and I would knit and he would play guitar, how do I not text or call him. What do you guys do to distract yourself. I know I'm doing the right thing, my family and his are extremely supportive of my decision but I don't know how to disconnect. Maybe it's because it's so new and raw, and I know I'm not grieving him, I'm grieving the him I wanted him to be, but how do you guys seperate the two?

It doesn't help that we live in a small down, my mom lives 4 blocks from my condo and his parents live 10 doors down the street...

overit263

Write down your feelings. You'll get your feelings out, without contacting him. Then you can read through everything when you're forgetting how bad it was.

Txhelp

It gets easier but the beginning kills you. Try distracting yourself...wrote in a journal. Or call a friend.

jjj111

When I broke up with my AXBF, I made a list of all the things he'd done that I found unacceptable. It really helped me to read it a couple times a day--helped break down my denial, I guess.

RedSoxGirl

Thanks so much all, I think the unacceptable list will really work for me.

If there's any humour in this situation, the other night when he went to use he was wearing a Red Sox ball cap (he actually hates sports and only started watching baseball because I'm a rabid fan), and for a split second my brain was screaming " TAKE OFF THAT HAT YOU'RE EMBARRASSING THE NATION!!!"

atalose

This is all new to you, be patient with yourself and all these tides of emotions you are going through. The key is to NOT react to those emotions by inviting him back, that is never the solution only a band aid fix for the moment. And it's often in those weak moments we regret the things we do.

Getting honest with yourself about the "fantasy" you have of what he could be and the actually reality of who he is, accepting the later helps in moving forward.