jessicajoe

I had a very early start this morning and my A had had a late finish and was still doing last nights drinking when I got up to start my day. I'm working at detachment and for the most part am avoiding discussing anything "big" or important with him whilst I sort out what is going on in my own head.
This morning I "took the bait" and ended up in a conversation about his plans to taper off with low alcohol beer, how scared he was of detoxing ("last time I stopped I had terrible chest pains ") Yes its classic quacking and yes I shouldn't have responded with "hmmm maybe detox "might" kill you but not stopping certainly will".
Then I went into full blown codie about medically assisted detox and all my fears about wet brain and so on and so on.
As I'm having this conversation with a drinking, drunk man I'm beating myself up inside for allowing the words to come out my mouth and not just doing the "oh well that's really up to you" thing.
I found myself thinking about SR and the people here telling me about progress over perfection and you know what ? Absolutely I shouldn't have got into that conversation but in a way I'm glad I did because it made me realize that as recently as a couple of months ago my heart would have been fluttering thinking "he wants to get sober" "how can I help him?" "what do I do next?" Geez I would probably have been out buying low alcohol beer.
Today I drove to work thinking "Drunk man quacking. If he wanted to get sober he'd be getting sober. Words and actions. Now what will I buy for dinner?"
Not perfect detachment but a step that felt big enough to share.

HealingWillCome

I think it's a huge step!

Katchie

Awesome! Thanks for sharing

befuddled1

There's a saying somewhere and I can't remember it exactly but it goes along the lines of 'small steps will take you on a big journey' - keep up the good work xx

dandylion

befuddled--I like that saying!

Jessica, congratulations. Boy, do I know how hard it is to keep your "cool" when they are quacking into the wind!!!!!!!!!!!!

You will get better with practice, though.......

dandylion

ShootingStar1

WOOO-EEE! This may have been a small action, but I think it was a huge insight that let you be able to take that action.

You're seeing his world entirely differently, you're seeing that you don't have to buy into his fantasy, and you're doing what you need to do and not wasting time on his quacking.

ShootingStar1

m1k3

That step was anything but small. Think about it, you slipped into Codie mode, recognized what you had done and the dealt with it using your recovery tools.

That was awesome.



Your friend,

isitme

I love this! And will help me admit the MAJOR blow up I had last night. However, even though it clouded my thinking some. I still made it thought the night productivity and and I'm back on track today. Thanks so much for sharing and being perfectly human right along with me