onthebrink

I need a good night's sleep. Day 6 for me. I wake up constantly at night. Sweaty but cold. Uncomfortable. Then I get up and have to so everything for EVERYONE in this house, including my husband, from breakfast to packing lunches, to laundry to taking the kids to school. Then I go to work all day, then I come home and make everyone dinner, clean the kitchen, wash the dishes, help the kids get their homework done, make sure everyone gets cleaned and bathed. Not to mention taking care of our two dogs, cat, and guinea pigs. I'm exhausted and hating everyone right now. Help!

wiscsober

I'm sorry life isn't letting up...

I think it would be helpful
to get some F2F help....

maybe have the hubby, kids, family, friends,
help out more so you can focus on recovery.

Keep reading and posting....best to you.

Hawkeye13

Maybe some delegation is in order?
I took care of my own pets from a very early age.
Lunches can be packed and clothing laid out the night before--children can do these things as well as their own laundry. My mother worked full time too and I learned to do many things for myself which only helped me as an adult. What is husband's attitude towards pitching in a bit more?

I also have found flylady.net to be very helpful in organizing house chores

Sorry you are working so hard but you are doing so well on sobriety. I'm really enjoying your quitting thread onthebrink. You can do it!

alphaomega

Crab away ! Cuz, girl....

YOU'RE SOBER !!!!!!!!!

This too shall pass. One foot in front of the other.

You got this.

Fandy

try the relaxing teas ? at night. i use one by teakanne. very soothing.
as for the kids and hubby, ask for help....the kids can prep the table for breakfast, lunch stuff and clothes can be done....and hubby could bring you a coffee inbed!
thankfully, tomorrow is Saturday.....get a few hours for yourself, enjoy the quality sober time.
ugh, having an angry morning myself....some annoying person took it upon herself to switch my exam lab!

ejackson

Onthebrink, the weekday routine can be exhausting. You can go all week long without any joy in your day.

I suspect you used to drink much like I did--on most days, it was the only thing I looked forward to.

On these days when your obligations are sapping all of your energy, find something (besides alcohol) that makes you happy, even if for a few moments. A pleasant scent, a favorite photo strategically placed... something just for you that interrupts the drudgery of the day and makes you happy.

And know that many of your feelings may be due to lack of sleep, which will improve soon. Hang in there.

onthebrink

Thanks guys. It's hard because I'm a caver. As in they whine or roll their eyes (husband included) I cave and just do it to avoid conflict. The oldest (still at home, I have one grown) will help out with the pets at night and they both take turns emptying the dishwasher.

I was raised that all of the above is "mom's job". Doing it at night is an option sometimes and I do as much of that as possible. I also try to prepare by having snacks, etc bagged for the week on Sundays.

But when I'm up at 5:30am prepping everyone for the day, while the husband is sleeping as long as he can only to get in the shower and get himself ready for work while I'm running around like a mad woman. Then come home at night after picking up the kids to cook for everyone while husband is sitting on his computer playing video games until he wants to spend time with me yet I'm still cleaning a messy kitchen, etc.

I just get incredibly peeved and jealous. Yet, I've been doing this for 17 years for him so I guess it's my fault. We've talked about it before - he says he'll change. Never does. He goes to work every day, comes home every night, is faithful and loving. Just not a team player at the household chores.

I am just feeling very overwhelmed. I'm sure the lack of sleep and detoxing doesn't help. I want and try to be perfect. I've grew up being told how UNperfect I am so I constantly feel the need to do more, be better, try harder, etc. I totally know it's me. But I'm really not being perfect if I'm snapping at people either. I have issues. Obviously, or I wouldn't be here.

Thank you for the advice and letting me vent.

onthebrink

Fandy, I'm sorry you're having a crap morning too. Big hugs and deep breaths for both of us. <3

onthebrink

Yup. Red wine. Every night. Started as a glass or two, turned in to bottles. Tonight I think I will tell him dinner is already in the slow cooker and that I really need decompressing time at the end of the day. They can take care of the animals, do the evening chores and let me soak in the tub with a good book for a little while.

I have to work tomorrow too - then go to a Halloween party at my sister's house tomorrow night. Yes, there will be alcohol. I've already planned a polite "No, thank you. I'm watching my weight for your upcoming wedding in Mexico."

happyhour

Good Morning ontthebrink, vent ... vent ... vent ! so much better than drink ... drink ...drink

they say we need to be careful to never get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.

so, do something today, not later next week, to care for yourself.

jdooner

The first week is difficult - the booze has a strong hold mentally and you are transitioning out of the physical side too. Take comfort knowing that is gets easier from what you are experiencing right now. Letting it out, talking about it is so healthy! Post away you have a great support network.

trudgingagain

Totally understand the challenge of multi-tasking alone. I was raising two girls alone until I met my husband....and even now that the kids are grown and gone, I still do all the housework, feed the dogs, etc. When my kids were in school, on Sundays I would pack their lunches for the whole week! I even made tons of pancakes and froze them. Would microwave them for breakfast. Of course they tasted like rubber, and my (now) husband was horrified when he heard what I was doing. LOL....he started to make them fresh breakfasts I too, am often resentful at all I have to do sometimes....but "doing it all" without drinking is a lot easier. Hang in there, and try to carve out a little time for yourself.

Fandy

hubby needs a REALITY check....he is NOT acting like a parent, more like one of the kids! why would you think this is your fault? he does have 2 hands, feet, eyes, and ears! tell him he needs to pull his weight and stop being the 4 th child....sheesh.
if he cant cook he can clean. and get his buttisimo out of bed...drive kids too.

onthebrink

Hahaha You made me laugh out loud - at work. People are looking at me funny.

It's true though, I know. xoxo