Ashamed
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: The Sunshine State
Posts: 19
Originally Posted by patricia68 
I drank yesterday and today. I feel so ashamed.
No much more to add, except that I'll keep trying to be sober once again.
It's a learning process, right?
No much more to add, except that I'll keep trying to be sober once again.
It's a learning process, right?
You are not a failure from a setback, patricia68. You are stronger and more determined as a result.
You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 65
The Group
^*^*^*^*^
"Over the years, every conceivable deviation
from our Twelve Steps and Traditions have been tried.
That was sure to be, since we are so largely a band
of ego-driven individuals.
Children of chaos, we have defiantly played with
every brand of fire,
only to emerge unharmed and, we think, wiser.
These very deviations created a vast process
of trial and error, which, under the grace of God,
has brought us to where we stand today. . .
We saw that the group, exactly like the individual,
must eventually conform to whatever
tested principles would guarantee survival."
c.1952AAWS, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 146
^*^*^*^*^
"Over the years, every conceivable deviation
from our Twelve Steps and Traditions have been tried.
That was sure to be, since we are so largely a band
of ego-driven individuals.
Children of chaos, we have defiantly played with
every brand of fire,
only to emerge unharmed and, we think, wiser.
These very deviations created a vast process
of trial and error, which, under the grace of God,
has brought us to where we stand today. . .
We saw that the group, exactly like the individual,
must eventually conform to whatever
tested principles would guarantee survival."
c.1952AAWS, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 146
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Shame is not a neutral feeling; it opens the door to growth and change. It can be a powerful motivator in the service of avoiding whatever behavior brings us there in the first place.
Feel all of it so that you don't have to feel it in the same way ever again.
Feel all of it so that you don't have to feel it in the same way ever again.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: The Sunshine State
Posts: 19
Originally Posted by EndGameNYC
Shame is not a neutral feeling; it opens the door to growth and change. It can be a powerful motivator in the service of avoiding whatever behavior brings us there in the first place.
Feel all of it so that you don't have to feel it in the same way ever again.
Feel all of it so that you don't have to feel it in the same way ever again.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by Afterthought
Completely agreed; in addition I could use the same advice myself and towards my own situation and messed up circumstances. Thank you EndGameNYC!
Just finished reading your thread.
Moderating is torture. I've only seen one person here among the dozens I've read about since I've been here in June. Each experiment ends the same way.
For me, just walking away from it quickly became a huge relief.
Life is stress, pretty much every day. Our answer is to obliterate it with alcohol, and it takes time and some work to manage it in a healthy and ultimately meaningful way.
You found a great place for support.
Wishing you the best.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: The Sunshine State
Posts: 19
Originally Posted by EndGameNYC
Hey there.
Just finished reading your thread.
Moderating is torture. I've only seen one person here among the dozens I've read about since I've been here in June. Each experiment ends the same way.
For me, just walking away from it quickly became a huge relief.
Life is stress, pretty much every day. Our answer is to obliterate it with alcohol, and it takes time and some work to manage it in a healthy and ultimately meaningful way.
You found a great place for support.
Wishing you the best.
Just finished reading your thread.
Moderating is torture. I've only seen one person here among the dozens I've read about since I've been here in June. Each experiment ends the same way.
For me, just walking away from it quickly became a huge relief.
Life is stress, pretty much every day. Our answer is to obliterate it with alcohol, and it takes time and some work to manage it in a healthy and ultimately meaningful way.
You found a great place for support.
Wishing you the best.
I have to choose. Do I want the life alcohol has given me, which is a false sense of security and a comfort zone or do I really want to live life? If I choose to really live life, I have to admit I need help to do so -- and that means giving up my crutches and support system of alcohol and replacing it with something real/physical.
It sucks.. bad... especially since I have to re-train myself to give up on things that I believed in that were false (i.e. the hope that alcohol provided).
However, when I examine the things I belived in, they are really only ghosts. Echos of things that I really wanted but never had -- Things that if I would only get sober and focus my 'awake' life on I could truly possess.
It's like a mirror of what I want but with a $#@! way of getting there. In essence, the "easy way out". Thank you for being an impetus to my recovery and thank you patricia68 and EndGameNYC for sharing your heart.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
Today I feel a little better 
It was a hard lesson, but crying and beating myself up over my mistakes is not going to solve anything...
I think I need to change my attitude towards sobriety.
Sobriety is not a punishment for my excesses, or for being a bad mother and a bad person.
It is actually a lovingly way to protect my body and my life.
I think that what I need to work on: to love myself more. Not in a selfish narcissistic way, but with self-care and gratitude towards life itself.
It was a hard lesson, but crying and beating myself up over my mistakes is not going to solve anything...
I think I need to change my attitude towards sobriety.
Sobriety is not a punishment for my excesses, or for being a bad mother and a bad person.
It is actually a lovingly way to protect my body and my life.
I think that what I need to work on: to love myself more. Not in a selfish narcissistic way, but with self-care and gratitude towards life itself.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: des moines ia
Posts: 362
Originally Posted by patricia68
Today I feel a little better
It was a hard lesson, but crying and beating myself up over my mistakes is not going to solve anything...
I think I need to change my attitude towards sobriety.
Sobriety is not a punishment for my excesses, or for being a bad mother and a bad person.
It is actually a lovingly way to protect my body and my life.
I think that what I need to work on: to love myself more. Not in a selfish narcissistic way, but with self-care and gratitude towards life itself.
It was a hard lesson, but crying and beating myself up over my mistakes is not going to solve anything...
I think I need to change my attitude towards sobriety.
Sobriety is not a punishment for my excesses, or for being a bad mother and a bad person.
It is actually a lovingly way to protect my body and my life.
I think that what I need to work on: to love myself more. Not in a selfish narcissistic way, but with self-care and gratitude towards life itself.
Print that and put it on your bathroom mirror. I will.
Ron
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