GlasgowTown

Right, here goes....

I'm a 26 year old who enjoys a drink as do most my age in Glasgow. The problem I see arising is that I can be an ******** when drunk and I'm often just a general mess. I have major blackouts about once a month (lasting up to 6 hours in some cases) and feel like I have no control over myself and my actions. I began drinking at 17, a fair deal later than others I knew and the reason for that was I wasn't sure how I'd react due to a history of alcoholism within my family. On one side of my family, my grandfather, two uncles and my aunt have all battled with alcohol problems. One uncle died of scirosis of the liver at 39 while my aunt has been attending AA meetings since becoming a grandmother 3 years ago, she's been sober ever since. There is a similar story on the other side: My grandpa and uncle both died of alcohol related illnesses, my uncle was 35. As a result, I was around alcoholism for most of my youth. While my parents are not alcoholics, one of my parents went through a period of major depression during which alcohol was hidden around the house and despite knowing they were drunk on a daily basis, they'd always deny it. We'd always find the bottles eventually. This came to an end 3 years ago when they successfully sought treatment for depression and are back to their old self.

My own drinking isn't comparable to the more tragic cases I've witnessed, the problem for me though is that I don't know when to stop and never have. I used to brush it off thinking, 'I'm a young guy... boys will be boys' - but despite still being relatively young I now have a fair degree of responsibility (a long term girlfriend, a very responsible job and a mortgage) and my drinking puts that in jeporady. When sober I'm motivated and positive, when hungover I'm very anxious and full of regret. The main issue I have is when I have a few drinks I don't stop. I'll go from being compas mentus and happy to angry and chaotic incredibly quickly. As a result, I'm often verbally abusive and aggressive remembering none of it in the morning. I never remember coming home either which worries me. This can often lead to heading out and doing the same the next day - more to stop the anxiety than cure the physical hangover.

I realise there are many on this site with much, much worse problems than my own and I'm glad I'm not in your shoes as it must be all encompassing. My problem comes with the fact I don't like who I am when I'm drunk and after years of brushing it off it's beginning to affect my relationship and general happiness.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Dee74

Welcome to SR GT

you'll find a lot of approaches and ideas here - some see their Dr or a counsellor (which may be a good idea anyway if you have anxiety issues as well), some go to rehab (inpatient or outpatient) some join a recovery group like AA or one of the many alternatives...and some of us just use SR, some use a mix and match approach too

read and post around and you'll soon get a feel of what approach may be right for you and your situation

good to have you with us!
D

GlasgowTown

Thanks for the response, I'll have a read around and see if I can make more sense of what my problem is.

Skye2

Hey Glasgow - to SR (you're making me homesick by the way)

firstymer

Welcome to SR, Glasgow. I am glad you are here with us.

Hevyn

Hi Glasgow! It's great to have you join us.

At 26 I was drinking in a similar way, but I chose to ignore the warning signs. I'm so glad you aren't. Taking a hard look at what alcohol does to you is very wise. Especially with a family history of alcoholism. I would love to have back the decades I wasted by drinking. You won't let it ruin your life the way I did. I hope you'll keep posting.

Anna

If your drinking is making you dislike yourself, as mine did, then stopping is the obvious solution. You don't need to have things worsen before you stop. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and it will worsen unless you stop.

This is a great place for support and information.