meggem

Well, I was greeted by an empty parking lot. I went straight after work, so I would know where I was going. I arrived at 5:20 pm and the meeting started at 7. (going home and coming back was senseless and I felt too paralyzed to mill in any local shops.

I remembered bits and pieces of all of your loving posts yesterday and one of them was that I could not work all day, mother all night and whirl about my marriage so I decided to put the seat back, lock my doors and just be with myself. Do you know, I could not even get comfortable in my own skin. The thought of being still and present was like trying to dress an unruly toddler. The resistance I felt spoke volumes to my "condition" - So I kept working it, knowing my extreme resistance meant I really needed to work hard at it - and after some time, I was able to "relax" as much as my body would let me. Seat back, radio on, doors locked, iphone in hand. Some time had passed, it was probably a little after 6 and I realized I was still, no longer mini-thrashing around and I thought this is the most "still" i have been in 2 weeks. I started to get ancy waiting for 7 pm and at about 6:50 I had this feeling that nobody was going to show up. Out of all the meetings I chose, I must have chosen the one that was not updated on the site. So the meeting never happened tonight. But I have to tell you, I would never have put my foot down and went had it not been for your posts. I wouldn't have. And I thank you for that. I'm disappointed. I was actually ready for whatever it was going to bring me and I didn't care if I sobbed the whole time, I would have. But I picked the wrong one. It is what it is. I hope I pick another one and go again.

Seren

Congratulations on the attempt! It has taken many tries for some of us to make it into the doors of a meeting....only to cry the whole time once we are in one.

I'm sorry about the schedule snafu. I hope that you will try again

Hugs! You did great!!!

SmallButMighty

I think things happen for a reason. That time alone with yourself was a tremendous gift. Sometimes the universe just up and gives us what we need the most.

I am sure your next attempt to get to an alanon meeting will work out just fine

meggem

That is how I tried to see it. I tried to think that the universe put me there in that space and place for a reason so took it for what it was.

Hammer

Awwwww. So Sorry. I have some thank you notes on my desk from some "parking lot people." Yunno, the ones who you see in the parking lot, sort of looking around to figure out where the meeting is. Since usually churches or even strip mall locations do not tend to have much for signs, it can be confusing on top of the stress a Newcomer is already dealing with.

I usually walk near and say, "Hi, I am looking to catch a meeting. Was thinking maybe you, too?" They usually look a little confused, and then relieved, and I say something like -- "I think it is usually over here . . ." and then we walk in together chatting about it. Generally wind up sitting with or near them, and make sure that whoever is chairing the meeting knows to do the Newcomer Thing(s).

So sorry that the information for you was wrong. When they updated the Texas website meeting list, I found some errors and corrected them -- but with so many 100's of meetings, even 99% perfect will give at least a couple of errors.

So maybe let's try do-overs for you?

Maybe send me a PM if you would like help?

I will just say -- "Hi, I am looking to catch a meeting. Was thinking maybe you, too?"

meggem

Hammer you seem so nice and you sound funny too. But now I have to start the whole process over again and ask my mom to babysit and I can't just parking lot hop. I have my list here but there is no contact numbers....

CarryOn

I'm not sure where you are at (no need to respond to that ), but here's the link to find a meeting:

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/how-to-find-a-meeting

Here is the AlAnon 800 number:

888-4AL-ANON

And here is a link to the online meetings:

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/electronic-meetings

Please don't give up on a face to face meeting...so many of us get so much out of them and I suspect you will too. I went to a "non-existent" meeting once too...that was tough because it is hard to make the effort to go, especially the first time. I moved on to other meetings, you can too.

NWGRITS

I think that after your quality time with yourself, a meeting may have been a bit overwhelming. Definitely think the universe was just sending you a message. I remember when I got back into Al-Anon after having my daughter and getting off the wagon for a while, I went to the location of my meeting and nobody else showed up. Empty parking lot, lights out. I sat in that parking lot and cried for a good 20 minutes. Then I looked to see where the meeting may have moved to, and nada. No listings for my area at all (I live on an island, and the only meetings listed were on the mainland, or the next island up). I posted here about my plight, and actually ended up getting the nerve to call AlAnon to request starting a new meeting here. Didn't get anyone to call me back, so I was distraught.

The next Sunday I was sitting in church and actually read the weekly events calendar in the bulletin, and there it was: Al-Anon, Tuesday nights at 7:30. My old meeting group had died and been resurrected in my own stinkin' church, and I'd never known because I never read the calendar in the bulletin. We are fighting to get listing on the Al-Anon website, but I guess we have to be alive again for six months before we get an real billing (and I'm trying to get my church to change the listing, because it's at 8:00, not 7:30, and we are a co-ed group but listed as Women Only). So anyway, there could be more out there and it's just not listed, or maybe be listed incorrectly. Keep your eyes and ears open, and definitely call the number!