Firststeps

Ok, I drank a bottle of wine last night. I can see how this is progressive and that I was fooling myself... But I still am not totally convinced I have to never ever have another sip... But that is contradictory. Anyways I'm back to day 1 again. I have turned off the tv and am playing praise and worship music instead. Feeling more calm, less anxious but I still have to make it thru the evening.

Br00ksie

Try not to equate sobriety with "I have to never ever have another sip," as that way of thinking can be daunting. Rather, each day decide "today I choose not to have a sip because I know what that sip will lead to."

I personally don't care to have a sip today because, similar to a food allergy, I know all too well the adverse affects alcohol has had on my life, and even taking one sip isn't worth it.

My alcoholic voice tries to fool me into thinking that one glass will be harmless (never been the case for me), which is why I have a sponsor and go to AA meetings and read posts on this site- to remind myself that I never have and never will be able to drink in a normal way.

Dee74

welcome back firststep - at least you're back, right?

that was the problem for me too - I couldn't accept for a long time that sips, led to gulps, which led to glasses, which led to bottles, which led to bad things happening.

I had to accept the basic truth of my relationship with alcohol - our relationship was toxic.

D

instant

There is only ever "now" . never never comes
hope you feel better soon

Susan80

At least you have come back here!! Try to think of "forever" and take it one day at a time. I slipped on saturday night as the old AV got the better of me. I am back to square one too.

forabetterlife

I have had many slips too, but also lots of sober time which I'm proud of and realize that being sober beats out drinking in every way possible. So just hop back on and don't beat yourself up about it. Learn from it for sure, but there's no point in making yourself feel terrible about it. You will feel so much better tomorrow after the first night is over.

least

I'm glad you're back trying again.

Cascabel

I'm back at the starting line again as well after last night: for some reason I drank nearly a bottle of wine. I didn't enjoy it very much and I was nearly a month dry too! I am starting over again and applaud your determination as well. Let's both dig in our heels and let sobriety win out over our beasts. You have my best wishes

Toffee1

I am sure you are disappointed to have drank but that is now in the past. Can you go back and change it? Of course not. Can you learn from it and stop it happening again? Of course you can. So learn from it and never forget how wonderful the sober life is. All the best