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I've decided to stop for good.

Old 10-22-2013, 06:23 PM
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I've decided to stop for good.

Hey, guys. I've had a sneaking suspicion for a while now that I'm an alcoholic and I've been one for years. I feel kind of lame for not realizing some obvious signs about a potentially serious problem... but at the same time, I don't even know if I am a true alcoholic. To that question, I'm sure the answer is usually a yes.

I know you guys have a huge community with plenty of threads like this happening everyday, so I'll try to keep this short. Anyway, I've been a weekend binger since I turned 21 (I just turned 24 in September), and somehow I figured that 6 (or sometimes more) beers on average for three days in a row was completely OK (ritualistically, too. Friday through Sunday is when I do the damage, every single weekend). What's worse is the backlash I get, which consists of nausea, anxiety and sometimes shaking all the way until Wednesday.

So the only question(s) I really have for you lovely people is, if you were to ignore the fact that I made this thread, would you consider me an alcoholic? Is binge drinking the first sign? I just want to quit for real this time, and it's so hard. My self confidence has completely plummeted because of it, too.

Anyway, thank you guys for reading this! I look forward to posting here and getting to know the community.
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Old 10-22-2013, 06:28 PM
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I may not be the best person to help with your question, I am very new to this forum, have not been through recovery or ever read resources on alcoholism... but I too am a binge drinker. Not every weekend, but regardless I binge. Which means that when I start to drink, alcohol controls me... I don't control alcohol. I don't ALWAYS lack the ability to moderate, but alcohol wins.. often enough to throw my hands up in the air and say ENOUGH! I think you made it to the right place... and if you are truly done for good, you may need some help. Hopefully these fine folks can give it to you
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Old 10-22-2013, 06:29 PM
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I think the fact that your drinking is causing you clear distress and upset in your life and messing with your calmness is enough to realise that it's a problem for you.

Forget the labels - it doesn't matter what you 'are' ultimately what matters is that your not happy with this lifestyle and you would be a lot happier not drinking. Some of us are just allergic to alcohol. It absolutely paralyses me with anxiety too when I drink. When I don't drink I'm reasonably ok - I'm still wired high but it's manageable.


Why don't you try a weekend off the sauce and see how you feel? It certainly won't do you any harm I wish you well whatever you decide to do.
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Old 10-22-2013, 06:37 PM
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Originally Posted by 13unluckyforsom View Post
I think the fact that your drinking is causing you clear distress and upset in your life and messing with your calmness is enough to realise that it's a problem for you.

Forget the labels - it doesn't matter what you 'are' ultimately what matters is that your not happy with this lifestyle and you would be a lot happier not drinking. Some of us are just allergic to alcohol. It absolutely paralyses me with anxiety too when I drink. When I don't drink I'm reasonably ok - I'm still wired high but it's manageable.


Why don't you try a weekend off the sauce and see how you feel? It certainly won't do you any harm I wish you well whatever you decide to do.
Great post / answer! I do that once every few months and I have a really good week, but I get into the state of feeling so good that by the next Friday I ask myself, "Hey, why don't we celebrate and have a beer?". Which is, technically the worst idea imaginable and a sign I can't handle it anymore.

I'm high-strung all the time as it is, too, and I think it's just too easy to kill it off with a few beers. How did you learn to live without it?
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Old 10-22-2013, 06:37 PM
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There are many more wiser and more experienced people on here than me and if you look around on the site you will be able to get great information. This is just my own criteria:

Do you think about drinking on a daily basis? That includes thinking about wanting a drink, about why you drank so much, about how crappy you feel from drinking, and about quitting drinking.

If the answer is yes, then most likely you have a problem. I came to this short, to the point criteria after I stopped drinking 5 years ago. I never realized that there are people out there who never give alcohol a second thought during an average day. I was actually shocked. 5 years later, now I understand. Most weeks go by now where I don't even think about alcohol, the subject never crosses my mind. But, when I do... I know my answer has to be NO. I can't drink. For me 1 leads to 2 and 2 leads to not being able to stop until I blackout.
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Old 10-22-2013, 06:37 PM
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I agree with 13unlucky - labels don't matter. What matters is changing behaviors that are detrimental to you, your life, relationships, and well being, both mentally and physically. If drinking is causing a problem, you don't need to label it or yourself, you just need to take steps to eliminate the source of your problem.
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Old 10-22-2013, 06:38 PM
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No one can tell you if you're an alcoholic or not. Is alcohol causing problems in your life? Then stopping drinking is the best solution. It's not about how much you drink or how often, but more about what happens when you do drink. If drinking is destroying your self-confidence (as it does for many of us) then stopping would be a good decision.
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Old 10-22-2013, 06:39 PM
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Alcoholism isa medical condition in which someone frequently drinks too much alcohol and becomes unable to live a normal and healthy life
You will know
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Old 10-22-2013, 06:42 PM
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Welcome DeadToYou! I'm glad you wanted to discuss this. I wish I'd taken an honest look at what alcohol was doing to my life when I was in my 20's.

I knew early on I didn't drink like other people I knew. They could have a couple and be fine. Once it got in my system I didn't know what the outcome would be. I once binged on weekends like you - but over the years my drinking progressed. It took more & more to achieve the same result. The weekend drinking eventually became every night - and in the end, all day. I never would've imagined I'd be so dependent on it. I'm not saying that would be you - only you can know how it's affecting your life - but you are wise to be asking these questions. I hope you'll keep posting.
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Old 10-22-2013, 06:53 PM
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Originally Posted by DeadToYou View Post
Great post / answer! I do that once every few months and I have a really good week, but I get into the state of feeling so good that by the next Friday I ask myself, "Hey, why don't we celebrate and have a beer?". Which is, technically the worst idea imaginable and a sign I can't handle it anymore. I'm high-strung all the time as it is, too, and I think it's just too easy to kill it off with a few beers. How did you learn to live without it?

I realised that I couldn't live 'with' it is my honest answer. I just could not physically or mentally abuse myself any more.

I had a lot of great advise from people here and someone introduced me to mindfulness/meditation and NLP

http://www.the-secret-of-mindpower-a...g-beliefs.html

^ that website is amazing - it was paramount to me stopping - if you look down the right hand side of the page there's articles on everything. I read for days. I watched videos lol I've another link that's a favourite of mine just now too

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/freeing-y...ited-or-stuck/


It wasn't any one thing that helped me - getting sober was almost not the hard part. The hard part was facing my life and everyday I make sure I do some work internally on myself - for me it's about personal development now. Drinking was my 'problem' not my reason. I fixed the problem now I have to change the reason.
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Old 10-25-2013, 08:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Hevyn View Post
Welcome DeadToYou! I'm glad you wanted to discuss this. I wish I'd taken an honest look at what alcohol was doing to my life when I was in my 20's.

I knew early on I didn't drink like other people I knew. They could have a couple and be fine. Once it got in my system I didn't know what the outcome would be. I once binged on weekends like you - but over the years my drinking progressed. It took more & more to achieve the same result. The weekend drinking eventually became every night - and in the end, all day. I never would've imagined I'd be so dependent on it. I'm not saying that would be you - only you can know how it's affecting your life - but you are wise to be asking these questions. I hope you'll keep posting.
I could feel the same thing happening to me, to be honest. I think I would have been 'safer' drinking everyday (as far as bodily harm goes) but because of the weekend binges and weekday purges, I've been putting my body through pure hell. I think it's more dangerous to do what I was doing, but in the long run, there is no 'right' way to be an alcoholic .

I got full-blown sick from withdrawal this time, peaking at day 3 (two days ago) and it's the best sign I could have ever asked for. Day five feels so much better, my anxiety and depression have lowered, no more mental fog... it's just such a great feeling.

Thanks to everyone who posted, I'm definitely staying sober for the rest of my life and I plan on posting here for the additional support. You guys all seem really cool.
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Old 10-25-2013, 09:07 AM
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If alcohol is causing problems, it's time to give it up. And not just for a weekend. Try going three months without any and see how you feel at that point.

I'm glad you found us and joined the family.
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Old 10-25-2013, 04:09 PM
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Dead, You won't be missing a thing. I'm so glad you've made this decision.
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Old 10-25-2013, 04:20 PM
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It sounds like drinking is having a negative influence on your life so it's great that you are taking a good hard look at the situation. Regardless of if you consider yourself an alcoholic or not, it's always a good idea in life to leave behind things that cause you distress.

You are still young and I wish, at your age, I had been honest with myself about where I was headed. My regular drinking started when I was about 23 and continued on through the rest of my 20s. I'm now 30 and have made the decision to give it up for good. I went from only drinking on the weekends to get buzzed to drinking on the weekends heavily to binge drinking Friday through Sunday. That quickly snowballed into doing it every night to the point where I had to quit.

As others have said, now is a good time to give it up and see how it goes. Speaking from my experience, I would suggest you cut out alcohol now before it gets worse. It's not worth the hangovers and anxiety the next day.

I'm glad you are here!
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Old 10-25-2013, 04:29 PM
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