60 days and feeling...
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 42
60 days and feeling...
Oh so good.
I tried a number of times to put down the drink over the past two years and made it past two months mark a few times but there was always something that drew me back. There was a wine dinner in San Francisco, Mai Tais in Hawaii and one or two other seemingly glamorous events that ended up bringing me back to that dark place.
A few things are different this time. First, discovering SR as a resource. I haven't posted much and didn't join until months after finding this site but the information, struggles and successes of those on here keep me moving. I am one of you. I've also read almost everything I could get my hands on including Caroline Knapp's "Drinking: A Love Story." That was my wake up call. Finally, I got up the courage to walk into an AA meeting. I'm not totally sold yet but the first meeting I walked into an Irish old-timer pulled me aside for a chat. He was one of these bright eyed guys full of energy with this fantastic Dublin accent. He held up one finger rand said today this is the only thing that matters. He paused with that one finger in the air and said Do not take one drink. All you have to do today is not take one drink. That's it. He said everything else will work out ,sometimes not as you hope or expect but life will be beautiful if you just do this one thing. He said, "I wish I could fast forward twenty years and show you the amazing sober life you're going to have. Everything is going to be alright if you do this one thing."
And so, that's what I've done. Today I will not take a drink. Easy. One thing.
The first two weeks were complete hell. I barely had enough energy to work and get home so I can take a nap, and generally move as little as possible. Then, even though I'm not a sweets guy it became about 60 percent of my diet. I've cream, chocolate, gummy anything...it was ridiculous.
I was easy on myself those first few weeks and that helped tremendously.
I'm the past month I've focused on eating well, going gluten free and am starting to exercise. Went out for a five mile run last night, am down about 10 pounds and am working with a clear head. There are some bad days but a lot of pink cloud days. My apartment is clean, I've hung the pictures and paintings that were sitting around. A small thing but something I would have never gotten around to doing before. It's good to be a part of the world again.
That old urge is still there from time to time particularly HALT times. Erasing twenty years of deriving pleasure from drink takes some time, probably a lifetime to undo.
So for today, 60 days since I put down the drink, there is just one thing I'm not going to do.
Life is so much better because of it.
I tried a number of times to put down the drink over the past two years and made it past two months mark a few times but there was always something that drew me back. There was a wine dinner in San Francisco, Mai Tais in Hawaii and one or two other seemingly glamorous events that ended up bringing me back to that dark place.
A few things are different this time. First, discovering SR as a resource. I haven't posted much and didn't join until months after finding this site but the information, struggles and successes of those on here keep me moving. I am one of you. I've also read almost everything I could get my hands on including Caroline Knapp's "Drinking: A Love Story." That was my wake up call. Finally, I got up the courage to walk into an AA meeting. I'm not totally sold yet but the first meeting I walked into an Irish old-timer pulled me aside for a chat. He was one of these bright eyed guys full of energy with this fantastic Dublin accent. He held up one finger rand said today this is the only thing that matters. He paused with that one finger in the air and said Do not take one drink. All you have to do today is not take one drink. That's it. He said everything else will work out ,sometimes not as you hope or expect but life will be beautiful if you just do this one thing. He said, "I wish I could fast forward twenty years and show you the amazing sober life you're going to have. Everything is going to be alright if you do this one thing."
And so, that's what I've done. Today I will not take a drink. Easy. One thing.
The first two weeks were complete hell. I barely had enough energy to work and get home so I can take a nap, and generally move as little as possible. Then, even though I'm not a sweets guy it became about 60 percent of my diet. I've cream, chocolate, gummy anything...it was ridiculous.
I was easy on myself those first few weeks and that helped tremendously.
I'm the past month I've focused on eating well, going gluten free and am starting to exercise. Went out for a five mile run last night, am down about 10 pounds and am working with a clear head. There are some bad days but a lot of pink cloud days. My apartment is clean, I've hung the pictures and paintings that were sitting around. A small thing but something I would have never gotten around to doing before. It's good to be a part of the world again.
That old urge is still there from time to time particularly HALT times. Erasing twenty years of deriving pleasure from drink takes some time, probably a lifetime to undo.
So for today, 60 days since I put down the drink, there is just one thing I'm not going to do.
Life is so much better because of it.
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