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Hi Im new here. Do I have a problem?

Old 10-20-2013, 07:38 PM
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Hi Im new here. Do I have a problem?

I'm currently working on my senior year in art school, and I've been wondering lately if my drinking has become a problem.

My whole life I've suffered from severe social anxiety disorder, to the point where I've been afraid to leave the house. I didn't have a single friend from middle school to high school, because everyone thought I was mute. I promised myself that when I got to college I would change. I went to counseling and therapy, and I tried countless medications, I tried gradually exposing myself to social situations but I saw no results. I spent my freshman year holed up in my dorm room fighting panic attack after panic attack falling deeper and deeper into depression with still no friends.

Then out of the blue i got invited to a party by some classmates. I was terrified but somehow I managed to show up. I noticed coolers full of bud lite, but up until then I never drank. I tried one and the result was immediate! I felt relaxed and by the end of the night I was calm and actually engaging in a few conversations! After that I was able to actually function in some social situations, as long as I had 2 drinks.

I started out drinking socially, and had amazing results, then I needed more and more to relax, then I started drinking before speeches and presentations just to calm down.

Then I realized that I actually really REALLY love beer and wine. I now have two drinks a night and every weekend I get fall over drunk. Some times I have friends to drink with, and sometimes I drink alone. When I dont have any friends beer becomes my friend, and if I dont drink I have cravings.

I'm sorry for writing this long rambling post, but I have some questions. Do I sound like an alcoholic? I feel like two drinks a night is really that much, but what concerns me is that now I dont feel capable of socializing sober without having anxiety attacks. I'm concerned that I've developed a dependance, and I kind of want to cut back. If I've developed these habits is moderated drinking ok or should I give it up entirely? Is it ever ok to get drunk?
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Old 10-20-2013, 07:47 PM
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Do you believe you have a problem?
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Old 10-20-2013, 07:50 PM
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I had/have the same problem with social anxiety, couldnt go anywhere or talk to anyone without drinking. Even places where no one was drinking i had my cooler of beer in the car. I thought , oh great i can have a have a few beers and actually come off somewhat normal to people. It progressed over ten years and the 2 beers i needed to realax turned into a 6 pack just to get me to go somewhere, then continued through out the day and night just to get to sleep. It worked for a while but it cought up to me and so i quit. Now Im back to being mute again but im learning thats just me and thats ok. i'm rambling. but alcoholism is a progressive disease and it will get worse. it is just a mask for an underlying problem. sorry if that didnt help at all
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Old 10-20-2013, 07:50 PM
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What do you think? The falling down drunk part is how I used to get. And I drank to be social and ended up drinking at home, preferably alone.
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Old 10-20-2013, 07:51 PM
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Originally Posted by sugarbear1 View Post
Do you believe you have a problem?
I'm not sure. I think it might turn into a problem just because of the patterns I've noticed. Im just not sure if it makes me an alcoholic, or if I should go for full sobriety.
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Old 10-20-2013, 07:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Artemis108 View Post
I'm currently working on my senior year in art school, and I've been wondering lately if my drinking has become a problem.

My whole life I've suffered from severe social anxiety disorder, to the point where I've been afraid to leave the house. I didn't have a single friend from middle school to high school, because everyone thought I was mute. I promised myself that when I got to college I would change. I went to counseling and therapy, and I tried countless medications, I tried gradually exposing myself to social situations but I saw no results. I spent my freshman year holed up in my dorm room fighting panic attack after panic attack falling deeper and deeper into depression with still no friends.

Then out of the blue i got invited to a party by some classmates. I was terrified but somehow I managed to show up. I noticed coolers full of bud lite, but up until then I never drank. I tried one and the result was immediate! I felt relaxed and by the end of the night I was calm and actually engaging in a few conversations! After that I was able to actually function in some social situations, as long as I had 2 drinks.

I started out drinking socially, and had amazing results, then I needed more and more to relax, then I started drinking before speeches and presentations just to calm down.

Then I realized that I actually really REALLY love beer and wine. I now have two drinks a night and every weekend I get fall over drunk. Some times I have friends to drink with, and sometimes I drink alone. When I dont have any friends beer becomes my friend, and if I dont drink I have cravings.

I'm sorry for writing this long rambling post, but I have some questions. Do I sound like an alcoholic? I feel like two drinks a night is really that much, but what concerns me is that now I dont feel capable of socializing sober without having anxiety attacks. I'm concerned that I've developed a dependance, and I kind of want to cut back. If I've developed these habits is moderated drinking ok or should I give it up entirely? Is it ever ok to get drunk?
The bolded above stood out to me.
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Old 10-20-2013, 07:57 PM
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I was very similar but I started drinking alcohol in high school to help with social situations. Binge drinking has plagued me for my entire adult life and I have gone months without drinking and it got much better. My relationship with alcohol has evolved and my drinking has reached a point now that whenever I do drink, I black out. I can't control it, I can't moderate. I am lucky to be alive and not in jail. Sober Recovery is a great community and you will find countless stories similar to yours. Welcome and happy reading!

Something that may help with your anxiety is exercise. Working out really helps my social anxiety. It is very hard to exercise when you are hungover. Getting in strong, physical shape through running and weightlifting is hard but well worth it. Tomorrow I am hitting the gym for the first time in months.
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Old 10-20-2013, 08:17 PM
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Something to observe about yourself is what is happening when you aren't drinking. Are you thinking about your next drink throughout the day?

One of the major reasons I realized I had a problem was because I would be constantly thinking about my next drunk. Thursday nights were my big drinking night and as time went on I would find myself anticipating Thursday night as early as Sunday. It became an obsession.
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Old 10-20-2013, 08:38 PM
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If you think it's a problem, then it is a problem. Give total sobriety a good try and see how you like it. Give yourself at least three months sober to determine if you like being sober.



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Old 10-21-2013, 01:30 AM
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I was a drinker where I would get drunk on the weekends, and I got drunk a couple of nights in a row. Then I started to drink wine at home alone to cope with my kids if I could have got out and socialized like I used to I would have gotten drunk for sure. Always looking for the next drink. I have a thick history of alcoholism in my immediate family so I am a high risk of alcoholism. I call myself an alcoholic and I go to meetings, 30 days sober today.
Yeah I'm an alcoholic.
There are many different types of alco's.
If you believe that you have a problem, then you have a problem.
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Old 10-21-2013, 04:03 AM
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Every time I needed to go to a social function I would drink to cope. However, I think this is more "normal" than you think. The problem for me became where I couldn't go without a drink. If there was no alcohol I wouldn't go to the social event due to anxiety.

I bet you are like many of us, a sensitive soul. I personally see social events as a giant judgment fest. Therefore if I don't go, no one can judge me

The standard statement is, if you think you have a problem, you probably do.

The good news is you will find nothing but awesome support here
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Old 10-21-2013, 04:18 AM
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You have already acquired one dependence on alcohol - to ease social functions - so there is a risk there. It is hard to say which way the weekend drinking will go, increase or diminish, but a current levels, you will eventually suffer mental and physical impacts that you won't like. It could take a decade or more, but eventually it will happen if you continue to drink.

For me, the real question is whether the drinking causes problems in my life and whether I alter my drinking patterns to prevent the problems from occurring. For me, the answer was no. I clearly saw the link between drinking and the many problems in my life, yet I still chose to drink. That is a serious problem.
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Old 10-21-2013, 05:03 AM
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Hi Art. I've been sober in AA a long time and think it's great that at this point your questioning your actions and reactions. If it were me I'd stop right now and perhaps see a professional and explain your situation the way you described it as there may be some safe drug that could help. Remember that alcohol is NOT a health drink and is easier to shake now rather than later. BE WELL
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Old 10-21-2013, 05:21 AM
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In my opinion, you have a problem. You know you have a social anxiety problem, and drinking as medication is not e healthy way to drink. Binge drining until you fall down drunk, IMO, is a problem. Do you not find that to be a problem? You could injure yourself, at the very least and it is taxing to your liver.

Welcome to SR. Stick around and see if there is help to be found here!
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Old 10-21-2013, 05:57 AM
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My wife has a glass of wine once a week with dinner. If she is going to get really wild n crazy she has two. in 14 years of marriage I seen her drunk once. She is a normal drinker. She tells me that she does not like the feeling of being drunk.

Compare your behavior to hers and I think you will answer your own question
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