animalnurse9

Almost the end of day two. Those ugly emotions that I drink so supress are overwhelming me. I miss my ex so much. Its the middle of spring here and it reminds me that all the plans we had for the two of us are over. That I can't make new plans right now because it hurts too much to think about it. What a horrible day.

instant

Hang in there animalnurse9 you deserve a better future than drinking offers you

UrbanFarmer

Keep looking forward, keep your mind and your heart open. Things will fall into place in your time. I hope tomorrow is better for you.

MaxxPower

Aww.

If it makes you feel any better...your pretty

Time heals all wounds...its true.

Wish you the best.

Babofan

I think I understand how you feel. I miss and think about my ex constantly, had planned for years on renewing our vows on our thirteenth anniversary which would have been two months ago. I allowed myself to destroy that, and everything else important in my life and will never forgive myself.

MythOfSisyphus

Sometimes all you can do is go with it and ride it out. Sorry you're having a tough day, animalnurse9. But if you hang in there and keep fighting things can get better. Sometimes not as fast as we'd like, but you will make it.

jutam

Feel it and honour your process. grief is a sacred time. I didn't really move along from anything when I drank my way through it. I just acquired more suitcases for the journey filled with baggage
relationship break ups are a killer. I remember sitting in a chair for a day just looking out the window, so miserable I could hardly move
I hope you have support which isn't a bottle
good luck...

bigsombrero

It's okay to feel bad. But on Day 2, you should not be in a "remember the days" pattern already. Perhaps on Day 102 you can take some time to reflect on events, but you are only hurting yourself by starting this poetic romancing right now.

Stay focused. Don't drink. Do what you'd do if you were recovering from a cold or fever. This is the time to keep things very, very, very simple. One step at a time right now - it's all about staying sober. Remember that sobriety is the most important thing and put that above all else. You will have plenty of time to reflect on things when your head clears.

Pondlady

animalnurse,
I'm sorry about how you're feeling. Keep things simple, eat, sleep , drink plenty of water.....maybe a short walk?

You'll get through this....if you drink, it won't change things and will only make you feel worse You can do this.....hoping tomorrow is a better day for you.

KateL

It will pass, I promise you that. Just give the sobriety a chance and everything will change. I begged my partner to stay with me when I was drinking and then when I got sober, I realised he was not all that good for me and so we parted anyway. Now I am free and single with many friends and my freedom yay!!! xx

roomsforall

Hi animalnurse, I'm sorry that it's tough. Focus on taking care of yourself now. That really needs to come first if you are going to stay sober.

I still don't know how to deal with thinking about my ex. All I know is that staying sober is at least creating the foundation to move on. That doesn't take away the pain, but it turns the pain into something productive.

foolsgold66

Planning for any future other than today is not necessary for sobriety. Just don't drink today. Live in the now. Sleep, then repeat.

You can do it.

animalnurse9

Thanks everyone. Made it through day two. Today is day three and usually the day I break. I'm at work and its usually after work that I throw in the towel.i tried to change the pattern, made a healthy lunch, went for a run before work. Still have that deep sad ache. Trying to focus on health and work and nothing else. Praying for strength after work.

anonymick

Come back here after work and stay until you make it over that "bump" of the third day. Just for today, don't drink. Not a single one of us knows what tomorrow will bring, but today we know we've got the power not to drink. And that's a pretty powerful thought.

Pondlady

I'm hoping, as I'm sure you are too, that you make it through day 3 3.....which seems to be a tough day for lots of us. If you feel like you're going to cave......come here and post about it......it can't hurt, and just might help.

Anna

I hope you get through the day and stay sober. Getting past the three day point will be empowering for you.

ChrissieB

Yes, stick with it Animalnurse, it is just 24 hours and you know you can do it. You have achieved so much already

CaiHong

Hang in there,
it's good that you are making healthy plans around the time you drink.
caiHong

Carlotta

Please hang in there, it will get better after the first five days, I promise.

longbeachone

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. It's so hard dealing with loss like this, because there is no easy remedy. Time is the only real medicine to get past loss, and the patience it takes to move from feeling blue all the time to feeling happy and content seems completely out of reach, especially for us alcoholics, who buy screw tops because we don't have the patience to wait to get the cork out of a bottle. So we drink over loss, just like we drink over everything else. We numb out, because it feels like it helps, at least for a little while.

The great paradox of this is that drinking over your loss will just extend the grieving process. When drunk, you may think that you're more melancholy than ever but it's like the emotions you experience in dreams...once you wake up they fade quickly away. Same with those dreary, endless drunken nights when you cry over your wine. When you sober up, all of the same pain is there waiting for you, but now you've got the shame and ill effects of the alcohol you drank.

So hard as it seems, you will get over your ex much faster sober than drunk. Plus, you will be so much healthier, emotionally and physically, that you'll soon find your life moving forward again, with new relationships and activities to take the place of what you've left behind.