Toffee1

I am on day 37 and doing pretty well and really really enjoying mr sobriety. I have had very few urges for which I am thankful. HOWEVER I am still trying to get over the thoughts of never having red win again. Never again? I guess this is could be a tactic of my AV. I don't know.
Maybe I should just focus on today and enjoy all the benefits today let forever take care of itself.
I get great inspiration from you all so I really would welcome your advices.thanks for reading.

least

I also had a problem with forever. I didn't know how I'd face each day without my wine. But after a few months I didn't want to drink anymore so it didn't bother me to think about forever. Give yourself more time to enjoy the sober life. Forever isn't a death sentence, it's a reprieve.

tomsteve

heres what I believe:
I don't have to not drink forever. I can drink any time I chose. but im not drinkin today.

MidnightBlue

Yep, exactly.

Forever.. Such a big word that makes us stand in awe... A string of todays, probably?

It gets better. Don't let AV in your head)

Best wishes to you.

HeadLump

This is so true! When I gave up I knew I couldn't drink wine again because I just cannot handle it, but I thought that after, say 3 months, I could have a brandy or something, maybe, please? But when I got there, I realised I didn't want to drink and I didn't want to give up sobriety. As the months have gone on, my desire to drink has gone, apart from a few tiny 'out of the blue' naggings which are really easy to ignore.

Stick with it, it's so worth it

hayley86

Congrats on your sober time. For the first couple of months i felt very overwhelmed at the thought of never drinking wine again. I focused on not drinking one day at a time and i didn't think too far ahead which helped. As i have gone along in my recovery i have made peace with the fact that i am one of those people who can’t drink any alcohol. I am fine with that now and i know that i want to spend the rest of my life sober.

hypochondriac

If you are using AVRT, it is not you who has a problem with forever, it is your AV. I found once I separated those thoughts (Mine from the AV) then it was much easier to dismiss those thoughts. It was hard at first and the AV can be sneaky but remember that any thought which supports the idea of drinking is just your AV and it becomes easier in time x

Anna

I's important to recognize that voice in your head that is trying to lead you astray. It wants you to believe that you can't make it. But, you can and you're doing great. Have faith in yourself.

Regretter

Hey toffee,

My strategy was accepting that 'forever' might only be one more day as I could up killed by any number of things, so forever may not be that long at all.

Maybe a bit morbid but none of us really know how long we've got. Forever could be a very short time.

desertsong

"Forever" was tough for me too. But then again, when I'd wake up in the morning feeling like death, I would also say to myself, "I can't go on like this forever." So the question became, "Sober forever, or drunk forever? Which is better?"

Sober forever is way better.

Jeni26

I had a real problem too with thinking I'd never be able to drink again. I held onto the thinking that one day I would somehow be able to drink like I once did, in the days when it would just relax me and everything was fun. In reality of course my drinking had been anything BUT fun for the longest time.

It helped me to take it one day at a time. If I was having a bad time I would just make it through to the end of the day and tell myself I could always drink again tomorrow if I wanted to. Tomorrow never came and as the days rolled into months the desire to drink faded.

Being sober feels so good now the thought of drinking is totally unappealing.

Give it time x

ejackson

I've been struggling with forever, too. It's overwhelmingly depressing to think that I can never enjoy a glass of my beloved wine, ever again. I sometimes cry about it. I feel sorry for myself. I look at other people who can drink in moderation and enjoy what I cannot, and I'm insanely jealous. All of this in just the 11 days I've been sober.

I don't know how you've been doing it for 37 days, but keep doing it! I think you are on the right track in just focusing on today. Today is so much more manageable than forever.

freshstart57

Here's another way to look at it. I will NEVER feel hungover or miserable or depressed because of alcohol EVER again. Why? I will never drink again.

It made absolutely no sense at all for me to leave the door open to drinking again, no matter what my AV might try to pull over on me. 'You can't possible say you'll quit forever', my AV would tell me. 'And even if you could, you certainly can't quit now'.

Quitting now and forever is just fine with me, and it gives me some comfort too, knowing that in spite of all the things over which I have no control, this one is aaaaaall mine. And it's over. Onward!

LadyBlue0527

You're doing awesome toffee!

Lots of great responses here. Forever is a dirty word in early sobriety because it's too overwhelming. Your AV will also use that word to talk you into drinking.

I know that it's hard to believe this but I promise you that there will come a point in time that you aren't going to even care that you don't drink. If someone made that statement to me 5 months ago I would have laughed in their face. However, it's true. Do I get urges once in a while? Sure. Do I think once in a while about the old days when I could drink and be ok? Absolutely.

However, there will come a point in time where you'll really feel the benefits of sobriety and forever somehow doesn't become that important. It just takes getting through the beginning.

Keep at it, you CAN do this!

Imabuleva

I plan to have my next drink in the year 2213.

MIRecovery

I can never guarantee myself or anyone else that I'll never drink again. I can guarantee that I will do I need to do today to stay sober.

soberhawk

I think I will join you there, if I may.

Hawkeye13

You are doing so well. One thing that helped me was to think in 6 month intervals--that drinking was absolutely not an option no matter what for six months the first time. Then when I got to 6 months, I felt really good and picked up a non-negotiable option for 1 year, and so on. You might try something like that if forever is freaking you out. . .

sugarbear1

right now, I choose not to drink.

maybe tomorrow.....

nah!

Mentium

..because you remember it so fondly?

Remember it really does its best to kill you..the way most of us drink anyway.