i've been away. i'm ready to come back.
Crazy Cat Lady
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
i've been away. i'm ready to come back.
I've been "out there" for a few weeks now. I'm getting really tired of it. I just want to get back to where i was a few months ago. AA has helped but i've been avoiding people like the plague. I just get so anxious. I had a blood test a couple of weeks ago and my liver function is sh*t. I want to get back to a sober me. A me that i respected but i just feel so darned lost. So i'm coming back here because when i was in constant contact with SR, i was okay. I need y'all again. I need to save my life.
Crazy Cat Lady
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
I have a good friend from AA coming over around noon to help me clean house. I've also decided to stop lying (if i'm lying, i'm dying). I've been waiting for this psychic change but i think i'm starting to understand that i've got to be willing to accept it.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Welcome back Grits. You may wish to look at your relapses and see if you can find patterns in them. I found several strong 'themes' when I looked at mine in detail. I then came up with an alternative plan for each of those situations, should it come up again (and most of them did).
Wishing you well.
Wishing you well.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
So glad you're back DG 
Does the phychic change happen 'like that'? Is it something we wait for or something that happens gradually which we work on daily?
I think posting on SR regularly is a great idea x
Originally Posted by DisplacedGRITS 
I've been waiting for this psychic change but i think i'm starting to understand that i've got to be willing to accept it.
I think posting on SR regularly is a great idea
x
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Somewhere else
Posts: 395
Glad your back, I know all about the isolation and I know when I let myself get drawn into it that I am in real trouble. As hard as it is, I drag myself out there and force myself to join others at AA, go to lunch with a friend or make my girls hang out with me. I was so suicidal a few weeks ago that it was down right scary. I was writing my will, making a plan and telling myself they are all better without me in their lives. The days passed and I accepted the fact that I am worth it, that I am loved and that I will defeat the odds and beat this. I now have 7 1/2 months and I finally am starting to feel like myself again. Keep up the good fight!!
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Originally Posted by DisplacedGRITS
I've also decided to stop lying (if i'm lying, i'm dying). I've been waiting for this psychic change but i think i'm starting to understand that i've got to be willing to accept it.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
DG
Welcome back I have an incredible amount of respect for anybody that gives it in another try. You have helped me showing it is possible to come back.
I got sober by shooting for 90 in 90. In reality it was probably closer to 75 in 90 but it was a bunch of meetings. I got a sponsor almost immediately. Someone I could talk to about the things that I was going through and eventually working the steps after my head cleared out.
I came half an hour early and stayed half an hour late to build my network of sober friends. I read the big book, pass it on, the 12 and12 and AA comes of age. I stopped fighting and did what I was told ( mostly ) I also read a book called healing the addicted brain.
The problem with AA is you have to do a hundred percent. As they say have measures availabled us nothing. I was a hopeless alcoholic drinking over a fifth a day for 20 years Plus assorted drugs. I was one very sick puppy. If AA can work for me I think it can work for just about anybody.
Welcome back I have an incredible amount of respect for anybody that gives it in another try. You have helped me showing it is possible to come back.
I got sober by shooting for 90 in 90. In reality it was probably closer to 75 in 90 but it was a bunch of meetings. I got a sponsor almost immediately. Someone I could talk to about the things that I was going through and eventually working the steps after my head cleared out.
I came half an hour early and stayed half an hour late to build my network of sober friends. I read the big book, pass it on, the 12 and12 and AA comes of age. I stopped fighting and did what I was told ( mostly
) I also read a book called healing the addicted brain.The problem with AA is you have to do a hundred percent. As they say have measures availabled us nothing. I was a hopeless alcoholic drinking over a fifth a day for 20 years Plus assorted drugs. I was one very sick puppy. If AA can work for me I think it can work for just about anybody.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
Welcome home again!
Yes, half measures availed me heartache for 25 years, then I worked through those steps with a willingness I hadn't known before....that psychic change happened after looking deep inside of me. Who knew it was just waiting for me that entire 25 years?!!
Hugs & love sent to ya!
Yes, half measures availed me heartache for 25 years, then I worked through those steps with a willingness I hadn't known before....that psychic change happened after looking deep inside of me. Who knew it was just waiting for me that entire 25 years?!!
Hugs & love sent to ya!
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