14 months sober ~ now what?
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14 months sober ~ now what?
Hello, All. I am bringing this topic over from the "One Year And Over" thread as I'd like to hear from more of you with 1+ years of sobriety who might not comment over there.
On Sunday I will have 14 months sober. The first year I pretty much tried to keep things in my life running smoothly and eliminate any drama. I didn't make any big decisions which is a suggestion for those in their first year of sobriety. Well, now that I've successfully cleared the one year hurdle, I feel like I want to take on something else. What that actually IS, I don't know. Should I tackle new projects, get into better physical shape, something else?
I'd really like to hear stories about what YOU did after you hit the one year mark? What did you start putting more of your efforts into? What worked best for you, and what didn't?
Thanks in advance for the advice.
On Sunday I will have 14 months sober. The first year I pretty much tried to keep things in my life running smoothly and eliminate any drama. I didn't make any big decisions which is a suggestion for those in their first year of sobriety. Well, now that I've successfully cleared the one year hurdle, I feel like I want to take on something else. What that actually IS, I don't know. Should I tackle new projects, get into better physical shape, something else?
I'd really like to hear stories about what YOU did after you hit the one year mark? What did you start putting more of your efforts into? What worked best for you, and what didn't?
Thanks in advance for the advice.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
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Congrats on fourteen months sober! 
I can't give you any tips cause I didn't do any of the things you mention after I made one year. I just kept on living my boring but drama-free life.
I can't give you any tips cause I didn't do any of the things you mention after I made one year. I just kept on living my boring but drama-free life. Member
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I sometimes think this also....What else can I do???.....I got sober , I got a job for the first time in 5 years but what now?? All I seem to do is work and sleep and work out a few times a week....Yeah I got my wife and kids but I feel like I should be doing more.....Just my thoughts.
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Thanks for your response, STEVE88.
Sometimes I think, "Maybe this is it. This IS sobriety and it's my final destiny. No confetti, no balloons dropping from the ceiling, no fan fare. It just is." Food for thought, I guess.
Sometimes I think, "Maybe this is it. This IS sobriety and it's my final destiny. No confetti, no balloons dropping from the ceiling, no fan fare. It just is." Food for thought, I guess.
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When I got sober when I was younger, ~22, I started to build the life I had postponed. I started going to school, met my wife, started a career, etc.
I'm just 2 months+ sober now and, again, there are areas of my life that had fallen away when I started drinking again: education, sports - playing them, not sitting at home watching them, service/contribution, spirituality, reading, learning, hiking, backpacking, animal welfare....the list goes on and on.
I think a good question is what do you want to do with your life? What interests you? What rings the bell for you? What dreams, hopes, aspirations did you once have that may have gotten lost and forgotten?
I'm just 2 months+ sober now and, again, there are areas of my life that had fallen away when I started drinking again: education, sports - playing them, not sitting at home watching them, service/contribution, spirituality, reading, learning, hiking, backpacking, animal welfare....the list goes on and on.
I think a good question is what do you want to do with your life? What interests you? What rings the bell for you? What dreams, hopes, aspirations did you once have that may have gotten lost and forgotten?
Sober since October
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Pippo, congrats on oncoming 14 months!
I am 2 months behind you).
I am asking the same question.
For me the real breakthrough is that I am finally getting closer to the point where I do not run from my fears and past wounds any longer, but starting moving to goals.
And I don't miss that false nostalgia "I will never be the same". No, I won't. And that's great - I will be better).
I don't know, if it makes any sense)
Stevie - you forgot your 4000 calories).
Best wishes to all.
I am 2 months behind you).
I am asking the same question.
For me the real breakthrough is that I am finally getting closer to the point where I do not run from my fears and past wounds any longer, but starting moving to goals.
And I don't miss that false nostalgia "I will never be the same". No, I won't. And that's great - I will be better).
I don't know, if it makes any sense)
Stevie - you forgot your 4000 calories).
Best wishes to all.
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
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My experience was similar to Dylan's. Sobered up at 21, and played catch-up going back to school, getting my own place and a job and getting married and then just continued to experience life. Found things that interested me, which led to other things that interested me and so on.
Now sober again after trying controlled drinking for a while and I know the sober life is better. Picked up my interests from before and developed even more new ones. There's so much to know and so much to learn, I am never bored.
Now sober again after trying controlled drinking for a while and I know the sober life is better. Picked up my interests from before and developed even more new ones. There's so much to know and so much to learn, I am never bored.
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Originally Posted by DylanS 
When I got sober when I was younger, ~22, I started to build the life I had postponed. I started going to school, met my wife, started a career, etc.
I'm just 2 months+ sober now and, again, there are areas of my life that had fallen away when I started drinking again: education, sports - playing them, not sitting at home watching them, service/contribution, spirituality, reading, learning, hiking, backpacking, animal welfare....the list goes on and on.
I think a good question is what do you want to do with your life? What interests you? What rings the bell for you? What dreams, hopes, aspirations did you once have that may have gotten lost and forgotten?
I'm just 2 months+ sober now and, again, there are areas of my life that had fallen away when I started drinking again: education, sports - playing them, not sitting at home watching them, service/contribution, spirituality, reading, learning, hiking, backpacking, animal welfare....the list goes on and on.
I think a good question is what do you want to do with your life? What interests you? What rings the bell for you? What dreams, hopes, aspirations did you once have that may have gotten lost and forgotten?
What rings the bell for me? To name a few things: regular exercise (particulary yoga and running) reading, cooking and to a certain extent personal appearance (I'd like to start taking the time to paint my nails, again. I know that sounds trivial, but I find it to be a fun thing.)
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Originally Posted by MidnightBlue
For me the real breakthrough is that I am finally getting closer to the point where I do not run from my fears and past wounds any longer, but starting moving to goals.
And I don't miss that false nostalgia "I will never be the same". No, I won't. And that's great - I will be better).
And I don't miss that false nostalgia "I will never be the same". No, I won't. And that's great - I will be better).
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Originally Posted by madbird
Now sober again after trying controlled drinking for a while and I know the sober life is better. Picked up my interests from before and developed even more new ones. There's so much to know and so much to learn, I am never bored.
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Originally Posted by PippoRossi
and to a certain extent personal appearance (I'd like to start taking the time to paint my nails, again. I know that sounds trivial, but I find it to be a fun thing.)
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I posted a similar thread about a month ago. In fact, when I saw the headline of this post, I actually thought it was my original post getting bumped back to the top LOL.
I think after you've hit a year, the "not drinking" part is kind of second nature. I don't worry about those situations anymore, and you probably don't either. I don't minimize it - but I have a lot of practice now and it's not a huge concern.
My first thought, honestly, after hitting year 1, was "where's my prize?" - seriously, I went through rock bottom, treatment, got steady on my feet and rose from the ashes like a Phoenix....and when I hit the 1 year mark, I got nothin'. Not even a free breakfast at Denny's. No streamers to mark the occasion, no parade going down my block. Just a regular old day.
More importantly, looking around I didn't have a boatload of new friends. I didn't have a new job, or a significant increase in income. I didn't have a new home or apartment, and I didn't have a new view outside my window. Where are all these "rewards" people are talking about? Well, of course the rewards are all mental, and that's a good thing too. And I do sincerely appreciate being sober, being healthy, having hope, etc. It's great. But gee whiz, it sure would have been nice to get a free trip to Spain or something or something of that nature, courtesy of my Higher Power. Alas, it was not to be.
As for the "now what", I'm 15+ months sober and have really been focused on a career shift. I'm almost there, with a little luck this coming Monday I'll get the opportunity. It's a field I've always wanted to work in, but never gave it a shot before now. But I stuck with it, and even if I don't get to take this chance, I'll keep trying for it. And I think that's the key - don't settle for "normal". Go for it. Get after what you WANT. It's time to spread your wings and have confidence again. Don't feel that you aren't worth it - you are. Dare to dream big. Good luck.
I think after you've hit a year, the "not drinking" part is kind of second nature. I don't worry about those situations anymore, and you probably don't either. I don't minimize it - but I have a lot of practice now and it's not a huge concern.
My first thought, honestly, after hitting year 1, was "where's my prize?" - seriously, I went through rock bottom, treatment, got steady on my feet and rose from the ashes like a Phoenix....and when I hit the 1 year mark, I got nothin'. Not even a free breakfast at Denny's. No streamers to mark the occasion, no parade going down my block. Just a regular old day.
More importantly, looking around I didn't have a boatload of new friends. I didn't have a new job, or a significant increase in income. I didn't have a new home or apartment, and I didn't have a new view outside my window. Where are all these "rewards" people are talking about? Well, of course the rewards are all mental, and that's a good thing too. And I do sincerely appreciate being sober, being healthy, having hope, etc. It's great. But gee whiz, it sure would have been nice to get a free trip to Spain or something or something of that nature, courtesy of my Higher Power. Alas, it was not to be.
As for the "now what", I'm 15+ months sober and have really been focused on a career shift. I'm almost there, with a little luck this coming Monday I'll get the opportunity. It's a field I've always wanted to work in, but never gave it a shot before now. But I stuck with it, and even if I don't get to take this chance, I'll keep trying for it. And I think that's the key - don't settle for "normal". Go for it. Get after what you WANT. It's time to spread your wings and have confidence again. Don't feel that you aren't worth it - you are. Dare to dream big. Good luck.
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Right on, BIGSOMBRERO! 
Dang it, I must have missed your similar post from a month ago. I love everything you said. (What's up with the no free one-year-of-sobriety breakfast at Denny's? Sheesh!) I suppose I need to come up with my own little rewards, which would be getting back into the past times that I once knew and loved. I miss them.
Dang it, I must have missed your similar post from a month ago. I love everything you said. (What's up with the no free one-year-of-sobriety breakfast at Denny's? Sheesh!) I suppose I need to come up with my own little rewards, which would be getting back into the past times that I once knew and loved. I miss them.
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usually we want to keep doing what has kept us sober so far
sure
no reason not to add things that are healthy and or moral to our routine
bicycle riding
hiking
reading
boating
the above all good and moral
study of the bible possibly ?? (Proverbs - good solid Godly advice given)
once I was sober for a while as the AA Big Book states
"I had to let go of some old ideas"
some of my thinking and habits were way off base
areas of my life were not up to the best standards
as these come to light (tenth step) we ask God to
help us work on them
Mountainman
sure
no reason not to add things that are healthy and or moral to our routine
bicycle riding
hiking
reading
boating
the above all good and moral
study of the bible possibly ?? (Proverbs - good solid Godly advice given)
once I was sober for a while as the AA Big Book states
"I had to let go of some old ideas"
some of my thinking and habits were way off base
areas of my life were not up to the best standards
as these come to light (tenth step) we ask God to
help us work on them
Mountainman
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 526
since you've mentioned that you are into yoga, i think that's a wonderful endeavor to pursue. not only go to class and try to get better, but also to study the spiritual and even anatomy aspect of yoga.
i am fascinated by the depth of knowledge and wisdom that is contained within the yogi philosophy.
furthermore it lead me to discover spirituality, proper nutrition and ayurvedic medicine, which, if nothing else, is just great for overall character development and further betterment of your life.
keep learning, keep improving, keep trying to be just a little better than you were yesterday.
and congrats on 14 months sober!
i am fascinated by the depth of knowledge and wisdom that is contained within the yogi philosophy.
furthermore it lead me to discover spirituality, proper nutrition and ayurvedic medicine, which, if nothing else, is just great for overall character development and further betterment of your life.
keep learning, keep improving, keep trying to be just a little better than you were yesterday.
and congrats on 14 months sober!
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good on ya for tryin something new. I suggest just doin what interests you.
"I'd really like to hear stories about what YOU did after you hit the one year mark?"
umm, well, I ended up spending the next 3 1/2 years ish in a serious battle with cancer. didn't have much time to do much else other than recovery from surgery,recover from chemo,recover from clinical trial, road trips to and from oncologist and to have a jillion tests( 300 mile round trip), and try to eat and sleep.
I don't suggest that unless its necessary.
"I'd really like to hear stories about what YOU did after you hit the one year mark?"
umm, well, I ended up spending the next 3 1/2 years ish in a serious battle with cancer. didn't have much time to do much else other than recovery from surgery,recover from chemo,recover from clinical trial, road trips to and from oncologist and to have a jillion tests( 300 mile round trip), and try to eat and sleep.
I don't suggest that unless its necessary.
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I have spent my second year so far doing the stuff I probably should have done in the first year but I was too busy trying not to drink. Things like step work, exercise. I feel like I was just scraping by in my first year sober but now I can really work on my issues with a tad more sanity. My plan is to get more counselling, fit some regular volunteer work into my life and start meditating regularly... I want to make my recovery and self improvement a habit in my life. I am always reading books about it but have yet to put much into action.
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