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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Elyria
Posts: 22
new member
I am new to the site. I have read some posts and and touched by many. I have come here for support,you see, I am the mother of a heroin addict and last night he overdosed...we almost lost him. I have been supportive in his recovery in the past, but when I went to the hospital and thought that I was going to claim his body, that's when reality slapped me in the face. His addiction will kill him one day. That's such a harsh reality, but the drug is so readily available and so many have already succumbed to it. He is only 25 and has his whole life ahead of him...how can I sit here and watch him slowly kill himself?....I can't, but I don't know how to save him.
Insight and advise from anyone?
Insight and advise from anyone?
Realising my life
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Dorset, England
Posts: 3,656
Hi ejohn. I don't know anything about heroin addiction but I can imagine just how terrifying that was for you and I wanted to send you a hug 
Someone will come along very soon to provide words of wisdom
Someone will come along very soon to provide words of wisdom
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Dear EJohn18, I'm so sorry to hear about your sons near fatal OD! I am the mom of 2 AD, 19 and 22, girls, young who got trapped into that world of addiction and heroin. I received wonderful support(still do) from the Newcomers Forum, I would also suggest looking into the Friends and Family of addicts. Both Forums are wonderful, check the second one out! Welcome to our family, we are here for you 24/7' we never close. Take care of yourself, don't blame or overwhelm yourself. This is a disease, educate yourself, read the stickies at the top of the Forums. Again welcome! TF
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,509
I'm sorry for your situation.
You really can't save him. He will have to do that himself.
We do have a forum on this message board for Friends & Families of Substance Abusers and you might want to check it out.
You really can't save him. He will have to do that himself.
We do have a forum on this message board for Friends & Families of Substance Abusers and you might want to check it out.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Wales UK
Posts: 859
So many just become bored of it all. I hope for both of you that comes soon.
They say every parent of an addict just waits for that call. Come here and talk , I wish you all the best from the UK.
John.
They say every parent of an addict just waits for that call. Come here and talk , I wish you all the best from the UK.
John.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,429
I'm sorry for all you have gone through. I hope he finds the strength to choose to quit and that your family can be truly reunited. He is very lucky to have such a supportive family, but please remember to take care of yourself as well. As they say on airplanes, "put your own oxygen mask on first".
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
to SR! Your son has to want to get clean for himself. No one else can do it for him. Do you have any support for yourself? Maybe check out NarAnon for support for you. Here's a link to our friends and family forum. Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 111
There will be rocks, but you will also find profound advice in this forum.
And support.
I absolutely feel for you; you have a long journey ahead of you...
And, only you, not anyone else, will determine how you will manage.
b.
And support.
I absolutely feel for you; you have a long journey ahead of you...
And, only you, not anyone else, will determine how you will manage.
b.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 111
In more of the "how to" vein -
He is under 26, so should be covered by any health insurance plan, if you have one. If so, you can use your benefits to get him into treatment and counseling. To be honest, this didn't help my son at all. And, sorry, but we are still fighting to get them to pay for these benefits. I am going to get criticism, but, after a long time of him and us dealing with the heroin addiction; my son's decision was to go with methadone.
He found a clinic. He is on maintenance methadone. He is back at the university, working part-time....
functioning.
Oh, he is still not all there; I tell him, he is a 'dry drunk' - he is not using, but still has not free of the addiction.
and on it goes....
He is under 26, so should be covered by any health insurance plan, if you have one. If so, you can use your benefits to get him into treatment and counseling. To be honest, this didn't help my son at all. And, sorry, but we are still fighting to get them to pay for these benefits. I am going to get criticism, but, after a long time of him and us dealing with the heroin addiction; my son's decision was to go with methadone.
He found a clinic. He is on maintenance methadone. He is back at the university, working part-time....
functioning.
Oh, he is still not all there; I tell him, he is a 'dry drunk' - he is not using, but still has not free of the addiction.
and on it goes....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NE Wisconsin USA
Posts: 6,223
ejohn18you are a loving mother
you can do a lot for your son
I think the best for you would be educating yourself
about addiction and how family members are affected.
You may find Naranon meetings helpful -- at least
google Naranon literature.
A basic belief in Alanon, and it can be applied to drug addiction is that:
we did not cause the illness
we can not control the illness
we can not cure the illness
You many find more help with this in the Family/friends of substance abusers forums
For yourself, I think it would be important that you seek out your own recovery too...
Peace to you...
Saved By Grace
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oop North, Furtlin' me Ferrets
Posts: 410
I can totally relate. I'm 28 and was OD on H in my parents bathroom last summer, stealing, and all kinds of reckless behavior. Heroin puts a veil over your eyes so that you feel like your life is still manageable so long as you get your dope. The good news about drug addiction, is that it will bring a rock-bottom much quicker than alcohol will. It's an exhausting and expensive habit to keep up. On will power alone I have only been able to go a few months before everything ends bad. And it always ends bad! But the main problem with the stuff is how addicting it is, I kept going back to it because the high to me was better than anything sobriety had to offer, or so I thought.
I guess for a junkie they just get so enraptured in chasing the high and don't mean for things like overdosing to happen, that just comes with the territory. Once an addict is that deep into their addiction it takes A LOT for them to jump to sobriety for a few reasons. 1) The detox/and withdrawals coming off opiates are terrible. 2) They will loose their rose colored glasses heroin provides and will see the damage they have caused. And 3) They are just hooked and cannot imagine life without dope. Once heroin starts causing serious problems (and it always does) then they equate quitting with wanting to die in their sleep. It is dark times at the end of any run with golden brown.
You have a few options. One is, be ready when your sons walls start falling down and he starts bottoming out, be ready with a treatment center/rehab to send him too if you can afford it. Definitly talk it up and tell him that he will get some time to learn about himself, grow as a person, and reavaluate the choices he is making in life. Remind him that he isn't a bad person, he has an addiction problem, and that he is not alone, and not a hopeless case. If rehab is unaffordable or unrealistic then I would take him to an addiction specialist and have him put on Suboxone, which helped me a lot in making that transition from daily IV use to sobriety. The drug is a miracle in my opinion and while some people will argue that it's just a replacement drug, and not "real sobriety," you have to consider that getting off H is not an overnight process. Suboxone is a step in the right direction if you ask me. Last but not least, you can have him enroll in a methadone clinic. Although I've never been on methadone, I have heard mostly bad things about it. A lot of addicts refer to it as 'liquid handcuffs' because you have to visit clinics everyday, and it's very hard to get off the drug entirely. There are people who stay on methadone for decades, but again, that's better than the alternative.
The reality is, your son is deep into a very dangerous situation whether he realizes it or not. Heroin takes down very strong people everyday, it just happens. Nobody is immune to dieing from it. For me I was only willing to quit after I had really gone as far down with the drug as possible, but I jumped off the sinking ship 3 months ago because I couldn't deny the fact that it was ruining my life and would land me in jail, rehab, or death. I still miss the evil sh!t, and if I could use it without all the symptoms of stealing, spending all of my money, scaring the crap out of friends/family, looking like the walking dead, lieing, etc. I would probley. I had to throw myself into AA to get the kind of support network and accountability to make my life worth not throwing away over H. For me the pull to use and cravings are unlike any other drug. And if your son starts talking about being able to drink alcohol so long as he stays clean beware, my dealers number was always at the bottom of my beer glass.
I don't know if any of that helps. Your son has a tough road ahead of him but getting help and sober truly is the easier softer way. He may have to do more research and thats the hardest part about this thing, only he can decide enoughs enough. The best scenario I see would be him deciding to change and get help, go to rehab, try suboxone, try AA/NA before he hits a lower bottom. It has been my experience that everytime I went back out and used again I hit lower and lower bottoms. But there is a way out, and you ought to check out al-anon and learn more about coping with this very difficult time in your life.
I guess for a junkie they just get so enraptured in chasing the high and don't mean for things like overdosing to happen, that just comes with the territory. Once an addict is that deep into their addiction it takes A LOT for them to jump to sobriety for a few reasons. 1) The detox/and withdrawals coming off opiates are terrible. 2) They will loose their rose colored glasses heroin provides and will see the damage they have caused. And 3) They are just hooked and cannot imagine life without dope. Once heroin starts causing serious problems (and it always does) then they equate quitting with wanting to die in their sleep. It is dark times at the end of any run with golden brown.
You have a few options. One is, be ready when your sons walls start falling down and he starts bottoming out, be ready with a treatment center/rehab to send him too if you can afford it. Definitly talk it up and tell him that he will get some time to learn about himself, grow as a person, and reavaluate the choices he is making in life. Remind him that he isn't a bad person, he has an addiction problem, and that he is not alone, and not a hopeless case. If rehab is unaffordable or unrealistic then I would take him to an addiction specialist and have him put on Suboxone, which helped me a lot in making that transition from daily IV use to sobriety. The drug is a miracle in my opinion and while some people will argue that it's just a replacement drug, and not "real sobriety," you have to consider that getting off H is not an overnight process. Suboxone is a step in the right direction if you ask me. Last but not least, you can have him enroll in a methadone clinic. Although I've never been on methadone, I have heard mostly bad things about it. A lot of addicts refer to it as 'liquid handcuffs' because you have to visit clinics everyday, and it's very hard to get off the drug entirely. There are people who stay on methadone for decades, but again, that's better than the alternative.
The reality is, your son is deep into a very dangerous situation whether he realizes it or not. Heroin takes down very strong people everyday, it just happens. Nobody is immune to dieing from it. For me I was only willing to quit after I had really gone as far down with the drug as possible, but I jumped off the sinking ship 3 months ago because I couldn't deny the fact that it was ruining my life and would land me in jail, rehab, or death. I still miss the evil sh!t, and if I could use it without all the symptoms of stealing, spending all of my money, scaring the crap out of friends/family, looking like the walking dead, lieing, etc. I would probley. I had to throw myself into AA to get the kind of support network and accountability to make my life worth not throwing away over H. For me the pull to use and cravings are unlike any other drug. And if your son starts talking about being able to drink alcohol so long as he stays clean beware, my dealers number was always at the bottom of my beer glass.
I don't know if any of that helps. Your son has a tough road ahead of him but getting help and sober truly is the easier softer way. He may have to do more research and thats the hardest part about this thing, only he can decide enoughs enough. The best scenario I see would be him deciding to change and get help, go to rehab, try suboxone, try AA/NA before he hits a lower bottom. It has been my experience that everytime I went back out and used again I hit lower and lower bottoms. But there is a way out, and you ought to check out al-anon and learn more about coping with this very difficult time in your life.
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Read about Vivitrol or Naltrexone. Unlike suboxone, it is not addicting. My husband used it, along with NA and felt great. Unfortunately, he only took one shot and relapsed. 
He is supposedly going to start again this week. If you don't have insurance, they offer a $500 discount but it's still around $800/month but still cheaper then drugs.
He is supposedly going to start again this week. If you don't have insurance, they offer a $500 discount but it's still around $800/month but still cheaper then drugs.
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