Upsetnneedhelp

I do not have the funds to do both. For those who have been following my son was arrested while on parole for various charges. The biggest charges being felon possession of a gun and attempt murder of a peace officer. He was merely trying to get away and rammed the car in the process. I am tired of playing the prison games. My son is a convict who may never change. I still feel the need to do something. He was not home for very long since his release.

RhodeIsland

Upsetnneedhelp

What can you do for him?

What good could come of sacrificing yourself?

I am glad you posted, people here have an opportunity to offer support to you. As I said previously, I hope you find peace.

Wisconsin

If it were me (and it's not me...and I also cannot even imagine what it's like to be a parent of an addict; my qualifier is my husband) I would do neither. I would not put my financial well-being on the line in this situation.

Carlotta

You realize that generally with such a bond it is 10% down and the rest as a collateral, meaning that you would have to come up with a hundred thousand dollars cash (if your State is like mine so probably refinance your house) and put your house as a collateral. If he defaults, your house will be repossessed. Given what you told us about his history, there is a good chance he'll try to run. I don't know how old you are but do you have it in you to start all over again?
I will not tell you what to do or not to do but I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

BoxinRotz

If my husband crossed the line n made it on the other side of the bars, He'd stay there!

These are consequences that need to be felt. Your son had a chance at parole n blew it with a dirty urine, now a gun and an attempt at homicide.

Do you really think he should be walking the streets enjoying life? You know he's dangerous. If you want to spend at least 20k, go buy yourself a new car or something. Go take a cruise. Remodel your kitchen. It's money better well spent. It will benefit YOU.

Upsetnneedhelp

boxn, yes your husband was lucky not to be charged in the moto bike accident. As I stated previously, Ive been to the Alanon meetings and get that vibe here as well. Maybe I don't like the answers to my questions. However, at the end of the day, it's my family member. I have dealt with a bail bond agency for many years. It's quite a wreck that the alcoholic and addict brings to the whole family.

FireSprite

Another vote for neither; after following your posts I can't imagine how either option would really help him in any way, and that's a huge financial sacrifice to make for essentially nothing.

BadCompany

Neither will do him any good. Out he may get more charges. The DA is going to land on him like a sumo wrestler. Figure on putting money on his books and that's about all the help that you can do.

jacrazz

Yes, Vibe here is the same.....WE ARE ALL HER BECAUSE OF A FAMILY MEMBER....what answers did you get from that other website you said you joined (family's of convicts website)?

Upsetnneedhelp

Yes, I believe you are correct. His parole agent said so herself. She went through the basement, where he was living, so at least there is nothing illegal I have stored in my house.

dandylion

Upsetnneed help---I will be here for you, whatever you decide. I honestly can't say what I would do if I were walking in your shoes. You have to sleep in your own skin at night.

do you have a minister that you are close to?

You are in my thoughts.

dandylion

Upsetnneedhelp

The friend and family forums of prisoners has a better understanding. I've read family members here complaining about dwi's and well obviously my son was well beyond that stage of addiction. I will utilizing that site. He has subforums of each prison, saving money on collect calls and other useful stuff. Thanks everyone for reading my horrible situation.

BoxinRotz

He was very lucky but ya know what, I was at the point where it enraged me that he wasn't charged because he was being the biggest idiot ever! He needed a wake up call that I could not give the turd! Make no mistake, if he decides he wants to go backwards n catch a DUI, his ass will sit in jail! I will do nothing for him to get him out! He better save his phone call for his attorney because he's done too much for me to bail him out. I just can't drop a few thousand on bail let alone a $5 bill right now.

My husband made it so that every bit of insurance we had to protect us from accidents was VOIDED! The first few days after the accident, I was waiting for all the charges. The only thing I did for him was preserve the medical. Everything else was ME surviving what he had done. He was no help to me n didn't even give a rats ass after the fact. I will always remember how grateful he was to me because if there is a next time and he gets a 6x9... his ass will warm that metal bench!

RhodeIsland

Her husband would have been a single vehicle (motorcycle, no?), at most rear ends a car and someone has neck injuries to call one of those tv lawyers. A DUI sure, but in the process of running from the cops, your son hit a cop car - that's attempted murder, or attempted manslaughter at the least. On top of it, he hit a cop - and as I understand they're the very best of us, you see, they're the kings men. One does not simply crash into a cop car while evading the police and remain a free man. And on top of that, he had a firearm on his persons, while ramming a cop car, and he's a felon. I understand the lack of love a lot of people here have for police and the "justice" system, however your son is choosing a path which is destructive not only to himself, but those within his vicinity.

If you sacrifice your house, your financial security it's your choice, and your possessions. It's just doesn't have to go like that. One person has already thrown enough away already, it seems tragic to make it two.

In case you're unaware: William Killian Prosecutes Edward Young Over Shot Gun Shells - Business Insider

Carlotta

I am really glad you get to talk with others who not only are going or went through the same things but are also able to help you with the logistic.
I also hope you will keep coming back here. You belong here too

BoxinRotz

His was a single accident with no one else or vehicles involved. It could have been different but I feel like I've been through enough n can't muster the strength to play out the many different variables n scenerios anymore. All I know is I had 2 fears n one came true. The only thing I'm sure of is that he did not take anyone out on his ride from hell! No one deserves to have their life wrecked by an irresponsible person on the road, under the influence of drugs or alcohol!

marie1960

ok, let's just say you post bond for him, exactly how is that going to help the current situation?

Exactly what will change?

He will still be facing all these charges.

and I understand that often the charges are reduced thru plea bargains etc........

and I guess those plea bargains take place between lawyers, so it you are hell bent on doing something, I'd vote for the lawyer.

I am just answering the question you asked. I will refrain from any personal comments, this isn't your first rodeo............

Ruby2

I am in the "don't do either" camp. You said that he wasn't home very long before this happened. If he has been in and out of the system and you post bond, you are essentially freeing him to get into further trouble. Who is to say that he won't seriously hurt or even kill someone while out? I work in the judicial system and see it all the time. People released on bond or electronic home monitoring, facing serious charges, who repeatedly get into even more trouble. No, jail is not a fun, comfortable place but your son is an addict. Either to alcohol or drugs. If he isn't serious about getting sober and he gets out, the first thing he is going to want to do is to get drunk or high. And what then? Your bond money will be forfeit and he will have a no bond hold.

As to hiring a lawyer...if Indiana has public defenders, your son probably qualifies for their services if he is not a minor or have other sources of income. I would not spend money on hiring an attorney. Again, I work in the judicial system. People give public defenders a bad rap. People always say they want a "real lawyer." However, the public defenders I know are highly competent and highly dedicated. They are not in it to get to get rich but because they are dedicated to what they do.

In writing all this I am in no way trying to minimize the pain you are going through for a beloved child. We always want to do what is best for our kids. But sometimes what is best for them and what is best for us is to leave them to experience consequences. "Merely" trying to run away and ramming a police car could have killed someone...including your son, or someone else's child.

If you want to do something, go to court for his hearings. Judges usually like to see family members there to support the defendant. Hugs.

Upsetnneedhelp

Ruby, I would have to say you are correct. He had a recently attached ankle bracelet and had to be home by 9PM curfew for having a positive screen for different drugs. I'm hoping the attempt murder charges will be reduced as he was just trying to get away not hurt anyone.

catlovermi

Actually, he had committed ANOTHER CRIME while on probation, and was actively seeking to escape capture by any means possible, including potentially lethal force.

You are making it sound like he's some kind of innocent, trying not to step on the butterfly on the sidewalk as he innocently strolls along.

What is it that you think can be accomplished by either posting bond, or hiring a lawyer? That he will change? That he will get less punishment for the crimes he DID commit?

You're highly unlikely to accomplish either of those, and in the process destitute yourself in your retirement.

You will have to own your choices, someday. You are free to make them, but you own the consequences of your choices.

CLMI