an update
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 65
an update
Just thought I'd get back to y'all, and even though I'm not posting (I don't think I'm in any position to hand out advice), I am reading almost daily, and my heart goes out to all you friends/lovers/siblings/parents/spouses, you truly are amazing people.
I have broken NC, but it seems pretty negligible right now, we exchange a message every couple of days. Mostly she's left out the gritty details, and any messages that sound "urgent" I refuse to acknowledge for at least 24 hours. My replies are 100% about me. What I'm doing, how I feel, random thoughts, always positive, and I do not engage in any sentences that begin with "you".
I did choose to inform her sister that she was using again, to minimize my isolation, and because it's family, but after the initial conversation, I told her I didn't want to waste any more of my energy talking about the A. I've donated enough. I am also staunchly refusing to "do" anything to change/alter the A's situation.
As you might expect, my lack of interest in her bad choices, has reduced the communication to a trickle, and that works for me just fine.
Tuesday I did re-experience an overwhelming sense of responsibility/guilt for the A ( nothing I can think of triggered it, it just happened), but I kept it in check, and was fine by Wednesday. My brain knows the truth but my heart still makes mistakes.
I'm honestly hoping to never post anything meaningful here ever again. I'm feeling pretty peaceful, and I'm reaching out for new, positive things my life. If statistics mean anything, this will probably all come back to bite me in the butt, but I think I'm doing pretty good.
Also, hopefully, those in the know around here won't try to stage some kind of kidnap/rescue (the idea has been tossed around).
I have broken NC, but it seems pretty negligible right now, we exchange a message every couple of days. Mostly she's left out the gritty details, and any messages that sound "urgent" I refuse to acknowledge for at least 24 hours. My replies are 100% about me. What I'm doing, how I feel, random thoughts, always positive, and I do not engage in any sentences that begin with "you".
I did choose to inform her sister that she was using again, to minimize my isolation, and because it's family, but after the initial conversation, I told her I didn't want to waste any more of my energy talking about the A. I've donated enough. I am also staunchly refusing to "do" anything to change/alter the A's situation.
As you might expect, my lack of interest in her bad choices, has reduced the communication to a trickle, and that works for me just fine.
Tuesday I did re-experience an overwhelming sense of responsibility/guilt for the A ( nothing I can think of triggered it, it just happened), but I kept it in check, and was fine by Wednesday. My brain knows the truth but my heart still makes mistakes.
I'm honestly hoping to never post anything meaningful here ever again. I'm feeling pretty peaceful, and I'm reaching out for new, positive things my life. If statistics mean anything, this will probably all come back to bite me in the butt, but I think I'm doing pretty good.
Also, hopefully, those in the know around here won't try to stage some kind of kidnap/rescue (the idea has been tossed around).
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