lettingonow

One of my goals with al Anon is to be able to tolerate the presence of my qualifiers when everything coming out of their mouth is either a sick delusion or a lie.

Any practical advice for coping? I honestly don't even know how to respond to most of it. Especially the really paranoid delusional comments.

It's amazing to me that I'm expected to go long with it. It makes me sick to my stomach and I feel a strong desire to just get away from them. It hurts also to feel that way with someone you actually love..

Kindeyes

I treat my son as I would treat anyone. Take drugs out of the picture. If he is rude, I remove myself from his presence. No need to make a statement about it. (he is currently in recovery.....the difference is like night and day...he is very respectful.)

Silence is golden.....when anyone is spewing nonsense (politics are an example), I don't have to have a come back. Sometimes a simple acknowledgement that I heard them is sufficient.

gentle hugs
ke

lettingonow

That's sounds wonderfully nice! But I'm just so very angry. I've been listening to my qualifiers BS for decades now. I'm tired if them shoving their madness down my throat! I want to scream with frustration!l I want to curse at them and hurt them back. How can they be so deliberately horrible?

KeepinItReal

Stupidville, lalaland, mentally handicapped from all the drugs. That's the only way to explain it. My AH, when he get's like that... I can't stand to be around him. Nothing makes sense, nothing is logical nothing is real.
My SIL is worse. She's just totally in another world. SICK.
If you figure out any better coping skills let me know. I just look and treat them as mentally handicapped... Is that wrong??

cynical one

You're not going to learn how to tolerate lies in AlAnon.

Nor are you expected to go along with them, in fact, believing or tolerating known lies is a form of enabling.

'I will not knowingly believe lies, and I will remove myself from any nonsensical conversations' is a very good and easily enforceable boundary.

lettingonow

I can definitely see them as stupid, except that some of them are more successful than I am and boy that really burns me. I read that addicts are covering up emotional pain. Okay fine. But they will drag you down with them then blame and attack you when you refuse to go along. So I guess anger too including anyone who tries to "help" them.

I AM TRULY tired of listening or ignoring racist, hateful, blaming & self deluding comments. What exactly am I supposed to say is what I'm asking because at this point what I feel like saying is: Will you STFU before I hurt you.

I'm feeling extremely frustrated right now and my desire to take the high road is fading. They are driving me crazy.

lettingonow

What is that quote from Cynical one?