teardrop

copied and pasted this post of mine from october class incase it gets seen better here

please someone help

still sober , well not had a drink, f.....ed off with neighbours and me holding on to resentments

will someone in simple english (as im obviously very simple) please explain how to let go of a resentment, a resentment of two people i see every day sometimes several times a day???????????????????????

i dont know how to do it

i played them at their own game last night and reported them to benifits,rspca,drink driving in the morning after

you all on here probally disagree with the above paragraph

but in my defence at least i didnt knock on their door and knock their teeth out when they answered it

before anyone suggests anger management, dont just say it give me some links for it in the UK, and not a anger corse which i have to pay for, because the only one i found was £500 and i dont have any savings or spare money

im still 100% not wanting to drink but i feel sh!t

thanks dave

MidnightBlue

Hi, Dave.

Really sorry you are feeling this way.

Ok, I will try in plain English - though I am not the best person to fight resentments sometimes - bear with me, ok?

From what I see in you post, your neighbours are pathetic losers whose only joy in life is to spoil others' existence.

Been there, done that, met such people more than once.

You have every right to feel resentment, but the problem is they are feeding on it. That's what they are aiming for when provoking you.

Be smarter, don't feed them. If it's just words - Imagine that they nasty words bump at bulletproof glass around you and bounce right back to them hitting them hard.

If they pose real danger - report to police, authorities, etc. Chances are people in the neighborhood are aware of who are they are, and don't pay much attention to their gossips about you.

They goal is to hurt you, to make your life miserable - when they see that their words get to you - they are encouraged. You don't want to encourage them, do you?

I'd say resentment is too much of an emotion for them. Pity, maybe...

And surely it's not worth drinking over.

Stay strong. I hope things will get better for you.

Mentium

Are you confusing resentments with ordinary, quite easily justified anger and annoyance? AA does not suggest that you get rid of all your feelings - anger or otherwise and the Steps' emphasis on resentments is really about those which are futile, self destructive and self serving..and likely to fuel drinking.

Perhaps your neighbours really are unpleasant people of the highest order and you are right to feel mad.

Do what you can - and perhaps think about that other bit of AA cliché (wise though it is!) the wisdom to know the difference between what you can control and what you can't. And don't use any of it as an excuse to drink!

flujays

Hi Dave, sounds like you are pretty angry right now. Take a deep breath and step back from all of the b/s that's going on around you. I find the Serenity Prayer to be of great help... God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. You can decide how you want to deal with this sort of negativity in your life, it doesn't have to be this way, it is what it is and you can't change what other people do, but you can change how you react to what other people do. Someone here on this board once said to me 'don't give other people the power to take away your sobriety' and it was a statement that has helped me greatly in times when other people annoyed me. Stay strong and good luck.

Pondlady

I remember reading that what others think of me, is none of my business. I used to spend a lot of time worrying about stuff like that. It takes effort and practice to just be you and let them be them. Sounds simple enough, but it's hard....it gets easier with practice.

I'm glad you don't feel like drinking