Katchie

My eldest son is home for fall break. Trying to help him get ready to head back to school, I went to my husbands car to get into the trunk and pull out cassette tapes (when's the last time you heard about cassette tapes!) that he could take back with him so he have something to listen to and keep himself awake. When I opened the trunk the first thing I saw were not the cassette tapes, but instead I found his beer stash in the back of the car. I was in his trunk a couple of days ago. There was nothing in there it was clean. So this must be a fairly new purchase. He had a large bottle of Belgium beer, and a box of about four regular beer bottle size Belgian beers. One large bottle of Belgian beer and he can get pretty tooted on it. Tonight he's supposed to coach our three younger sons, but he informed me today at lunch that he would be missing practice to catch up on work at his office that needs to be finished. I'm not buying it. Of course, what this means is that he will be probably be drinking and driving though I'm praying that won't be the case. He has been dry for about three days now and that's been nice because I can see the man I married even if only for a little while.
My question is this, my discovering his beer in the trunk, is that something I should bring up to him? Or is that something I should just leave alone? I'm normally a pretty quiet person and don't bring anything up until I think it is adversely affecting my sons, such as driving with them in the car and being drunk. Then I do say something. I was planning on attending another Al-Anon meeting tonight at 5:30 but now I'm unsure because he may end up showing up at practice later this evening and I don't want him driving the boys home because I will be unsure whether he's been drinking or not. I might need to be there at practice just to supervise his behavior should show up.

MsPINKAcres

((Katchie))

Would it sound strange to offer you congrats on not throwing the beer away?
But that's what I'd like to do ~ because I think that's a good thing.

For me, discovering the alcohol or the pills for my now ex ah was more for my validation than for anything to do with him. I believe my HP allowed me to know my suspicions were well grounded. that I could trust my inner gut. Even when I confronted my exah with the evidence - he always had a story, an excuse, blah blah blah - not mine, holding for a friend, you planted it there, trying to trick me, don't know what you are talking about, you are the crazy one, quack quack quack. . .

Maybe you can get with one of the other moms on your sons' team ~ ask them to watch the boys til your meeting is over ~ someone you can trust ? So you can still make your meeting? Can your older son pick them up from practice?

If not this week, then maybe try to make some plans for next week so you can make your meetings. Having recovery time for you is important also.

Wishing you the best!

pink hugs!

RhodeIsland

Cassette tapes? Mémère, is it already time to drive you back to Florida? Oh how I love the stories on cassette!



Children being safe is a must - driving them drunk should not occur. Is there another meeting you can make, or arrange for someone else to drive the children home? How about letting the husband know that picking the children up from practice is something you'll be doing, and to "you focus on taking care of work".

your recovery IS important. If possible, make the meeting.

smtowngirl

I think I would Bring the Beer in the house, so I didn't worry about it. When ever I find bottles of vodka around the house anymore i just put them in the cupboard, i don't even dump them becuase he will just buy more. So your AH will know you found it end of story. This doesn't mean he can't or won't buy more. I would worry about him drinking and driving too and driving with the kids. We can't make decisions for or AH's but we can protect ourselves and our children .

dandylion

smtngirl--creative thinking!! Good problem=solving skills.

dandylion