SpartanGreen

I learned about and read about AVRT for the first time ever yesterday. It clicked for me and seemed like my way to sobriety. Today was going to be my second day of sobriety, and I felt so good (well mentally, physically not so much). I had this new philosophy and this newly found cerebral fortitude. For basically the whole duration of the work day, I knew I wasn't going to drink and I believed it.

And then it happened. I followed to same after-work routine I usually do, I let the beast win. I didn't even drink it all, I dumped the end out, so disgusted with myself for my mental vulnerability.

I know that relapse doesn't exist and tomorrow it doesn't matter that I drank today. The only thing that is important tomorrow is that I win against the beast.

The point of all of this, when I first read about the method it seemed like something that would click and instantly propel me to continuous sobriety. When you discovered this, did it instantly change things for you or did you have to battle and practice?

13unluckyforsom

I had a bit of a false start - I hadn't fully appreciated the enormity of the beast and his grip on me. I underestimated what I was dealing with - a lot of people find that the RR method is fantastic - and I'm one of them it doesn't mean that we can't incorporate other tools to help us out. We are human and by nature we are flawed and by being drunks our thinking becomes so vile. It's negative at best. It's a bad personality transplant lol sooooooo point being 'ahem' sometimes people get sober and expect too much - too much for too little an effort to be honest (my opinion) never drinking again may be the root to some peoples all consuming happiness but for a lot of people things like mindfulness and meditation and NLP are a brilliant help to finding our happiness after making our plans.

The best plan for you has to be what you need and invest time in your plan because your totally worthy of it. Research anytime you can knowledge is power

13unluckyforsom

The underpinning factor must always be though that you don't drink now and you will never change your mind because without a clear mind your not ever going to find your happy - time to focus on this ok - your really important. There's only ever going to be one you.

13unluckyforsom

Never mind being disgusted with yourself - that's a pointless waste of energy... What did you learn from this? Turn it on its head. Work out what you learned and be grateful for the lesson - you only fail when you stop trying. And it's only a mistake if you don't learn. Make this positive!

GerandTwine

The quintessential question when first being introduced to AVRT is "What are my plans for the future use of alcohol?"

Contemplating the various answers to this question in depth led me to understand:

- How my ambivalence about drinking would swing back and forth in an unpredictable way as time passed.
- How hard, yet with increasing failure, I worked to avoid wrongdoing as I repeatedly sought and enjoyed the pleasure of drinking.
- How my plans to drink moderately were invariably changed to drink in excess once the drinking started.
- How being under the influence of alcohol temporarily obliterated my better judgement.
- How the Addiction Treatment industry deems this question meaningless with the imposition of the disease concept.
- How the Recovery Group Movement renders the question meaningless with the imposition of powerlessness and gross conditionality over any such plans.
- How simply in-my-face controllable it is for me to determine if I swallow that first drink.
- How important it is for me to accept my abstinence from a basis of moral correctness, and drinking as morally reprehensible.
- How the sadness and grief I might experience from never getting that pleasure again are just biologically driven selective memories of the good and not the bad parts of getting drunk.
- How the only valid answer to that question is the Big Plan of AVRT (the age old teetotal pledge used successfully by millions since it was first popularized in the early nineteenth century).

freshstart57

Can you make a conscious decision now to change this routine even a little bit? Something to make you mindful? Maybe try putting your watch on the other wrist. I know it sounds silly, but something as little as simple as this can help you to remain mindful of your thoughts and what they mean as they occur.

In this way, you can recognize the AV as coming from the beast, and not from you. Identify the thoughts of drinking as separate from you.

MythOfSisyphus

Great post, SpartanGreen! AVRT took for me right away; it really rewired my thinking about alcohol instantly. I had no withdrawals and the headaches I used to get if I didn't drink at the appointed hour stopped immediately. I won't say I've never had a bad hour but I've never found myself close to lifting a glass to my lips. The beginning of the month I marked my One Year Sober anniversary. So far AVRT has changed my life, saved my life.

jkb

I read the book. It made sense and then I put it away and grabbed a bottle. I knew I wasn't ready for that commitment at the time. I also thought the idea of "never again" was stupid.

A year later when I was ready to quit I dug the book back out and reread it. That was when I started to get it. I was done with alcohol. I had to retrain my brain though. That part took me some time.

13unluckyforsom

Jess I nearly spat my coffee out there lol that made me laugh.. I totally understand now as well that you can't have anything on the back burner to succeed in this way. You have to be in it completely.

freshstart57

For me, it was AVRT that most accurately described what I had been doing already for a few weeks after I had quit drinking- the recognition and separation aspects. After I had been exposed to AVRT specifically through the efforts of a couple SR members, I learned more about my sobriety, and about mindfulness and acceptance. Through The New Cure I learned about the voluntary moral aspect of my sobriety, and I used that idea to close the lid for good on my future alcohol consumption.

waterwagon

short answer- no. now? starting to click only for this moment NOT a day at a time this moment=forever in a way still getting to grips with the AVRT thing there's heaps of other stuff out there. I think every time I think of a beer I will make/have made a vomit noise to signify how disgusting it is. Hmmm yes early days and very late here 2am need my sleep

waterwagon

sleep is over-rated sick of my bed sick of these meds lovin being up late totally stone cold sober ooh yeah thanks Jack and soberrecovery.com :-)

Arbor

I'm new to the AVRT method. Been to the online site. Read through thoroughly. It really hit home with me. Prolly a stupid question but would any of you recommend the book? I plan on getting it but just wanted to throw that out there.

GerandTwine

Yes. "Rational Recovery: The New Cure" and "The Art AVRT" both by Jack Trimpey.

freshstart57

Arbor8, by all means get at least The New Cure. Go to amazon and read the reviews for a flavour of the book.

After you are familiar with what's inside, you might find it useful to read more deeply into the resources that SR has in this forum. The AVRT discussion thread is a great resource, and it grows all the time, and there are plenty of threads with 'AVRT' or 'Big Plan' in the titles too.

You can do it, Arbor, you have what it takes to make your plan about continuing to use alcohol. You can make your pledge to quit drinking for good. Onward!

Arbor

Thanks for the support!! I'll pick it up today!

LadyBlue0527

I think any method to get and remain sober is a good one.

However, one thing remains ever present. The ability for anything to work is directly related to how badly you want it to work.

You have to want to be sober more than you want to drink at all times.

freshstart57

That sort of sounds like an ongoing struggle to me, always evaluating which you want more, a drink or a life worth living.

I made that analysis once, chose the permanently sober option, and got on with things. For me the big part was getting over the hurdle of accepting that I no longer drink, under any condition. Then I made my Big Plan. It has worked so far.

I kid, I kid.

It will always work.

LadyBlue0527

I think it would help if I rephrase this

It's unrealistic to think that drinking is on our minds 24 hours a day. I'm not referring to being continuously cognitive saying "I want to be sober more than I want to drink, I want to be sober more than I want to drink, I want to be sober more than I want to drink".

What I'm referring to is that there is no excuse on earth that will sway us from wanting to be sober. No allowance of boo boo face because we're stressed, angry, upset, bored, lonely, it's a day that ends in a Y, the dog is barking too much, etc, etc, etc.

That needs to be consistent. No evaluation is necessary.

GerandTwine

I hear what you mean, but I believe any thought including "wanting to be sober" always comes from my Beast.

My Beast is quite impotent now (I can't even remember what the sensation of being high was like) but I do remember if I used to think "I want to be sober" or "I want to be permanently abstinent", AVRT taught me to say "Sorry Beast, I've already become permanently abstinent."

As I see it, in AVRT "wanting to be sober" is short for, "OK, I've been sober for a while, and I want to be sober, so I'll keep working at it." In AVRT, that's really the AV stealing your pronoun "I". AVRT reveals IT saying "OK, you've been sober for a while, and you want to be sober, so you're going to have to really work hard at staying sober come hell or high water. Good Luhhuuck!"

You see, there's no reason for me to 'want to' anything about drinking any more. I don't have to want to be abstinent any more. I can be absolutely neutral about it. That's effortless. To me that's the whole long term purpose of the Big Plan. "Yup, I did it. Can't go back."