WasItMe

I am new to this group, addiction, and recovery. I just recently learned my son was abusing pain pills. I knew he smoked pot better never in a million years did I expect to be posting or reading the items, stories, books, post, etc. I find my reading today.

Today I've discover that not only was he snorting the oxy 30s but he may have been spotting them as well. Still haven't confirmed that just yet. I found a stash of cigarettes with the filters pulled out and then found those in my bathroom trash can.

I took him to rehab willingly Friday night. I'm in maryland and drove him 16 hours and 1000 miles to Florida for what I hope is his best chance. Being out of maryland not only is what I hope a good facility (there are no really good ones here) and also a deterrent from him walking away or his ability to ask me to come get him.

The last 3 days have been terribly hard on me and my family. Not only not being able to have contact with him his first week through detox but also because today is his birthday. I just keep talking myself I am giving him another chance at the birthdays to come.

I have so much anger toward his friend who have worked my company, slept in my home, broke bread with my family and looked me in my face and lied. Finding out today about the possible shooting up is more than I can handle. I can't get off the couch or web because I'm just trying to understand who his person (my son) has become. He wasn't raised in a bad home. He's a high school graduate, a firefighter, a EMT and has love and support of his family.

How did I not see the signs that are so visible after the fact.

Thank you for reading and I didn't proof read so if something sounds weird or doesn't make sense I'm sorry my fingers got ahead of my brain!

Melina

I'm glad you're here, I hope your son gets off the pills and that your family heals.

wakko

It absolutely positively is not your fault. Why do people in the clergy have problems with drugs and alcohol pot? Being good or raise right has nothing to do with it. We're all good people with a bad disease.

He lied to you? I'm sorry to say but that is what we do when we're in active addiction and he will continue to do it until he gets sober.

I would be far more worried about what you were going to do than what you didn't do. Take this time to educate yourself. Seek professional advice, read, post in friends and family on SR, become active in naranon.

My heart goes out to you but there are tons of success stories

serious

certainly not your fault.

as a matter of fact i sincerely hope that this might be the best birthday present you have given to your son.

can't imagine how tough it might be on you. let this be a blessing in disguise.

Carlotta

to SR. You will find a lot of support here and like the others mentioned, it is absolutely NOT your fault.
When it comes to his addiction:
you did not cause it
you cannot control it
you cannot cure it.
Have you considered checking out Naranon or Alanon? Those are 12 steps meetings for friends and family of alcoholics and addicts. Al Anon has benefited me greatly.
You are of course very welcome on this side of the forum but I would also suggest that you join us on the Friends and Family side. You will find a lot of parents who are dealing with their children's addiction there.
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

WasItMe

Words can't express how blessed I feel to have found this group. I cried when I read each one of your post and thank you from my entire heart.

I have been reading since I dropped him off and haven't stopped. I've downloaded books on my kindle and also found a local Nar-Anon meeting which I'm attending Wednesday night.

I have a 17 yr old daughter who is a God send. She and her brother have a bond like no other I've ever seen. We have talked with her and she is equally effected by this. The lies she has told him have crushed her as well. Only problem is she doesn't want to go to counseling because she doesn't want to talk to strangers about this. I am trying to make her understand we aren't alone and hoping this is a starting point.

Again I thank each of you and look forward to lasting friendships and learning all I can able not being an enabler.

Hevyn

Welcome WasItMe! We're so glad you found us. I was very relieved when I found SR and knew I wasn't alone anymore.

I'm happy you aren't trying to handle this by yourself, and that you've reached out here. I'm sure you'll find many in the Friends & Family Forum who have been where you are right now and will have suggestions. Of course it wasn't your fault.

CaiHong

Welcome Wasitme,

I think the positive thing is he went to rehab willingly. The family can get through this as long as your son wants to. you are being a great Mum by getting to understand the problem.
Keep us posted.

love
caiHong

roomsforall

Hi wasitme, I'm really sorry that you are going through this. Please don't blame yourself. This is not your fault.

Br00ksie

It was not your fault at all! We addicts can be very good at sneaking and hiding our addictions- until we aren't. I got a masters degree with a drug/alcohol problem.

So glad you are seeking support from a rehab facility, nar-anon, and SR! All good places to find support.

Welcome! So sorry you are hurting, sending love and prayers to you and your family! ((Big Hug))

feralfemale

I completely agree with this statement. Your son knows he has your support and he is willing to accept help. I think it would be a lot harder for him to do this if he somehow blamed you. Even if he did blame you, it does not mean that the fault is yours.

My stepfather did not even really acknowledge when his son went to treatment for addiction, which I think is really sad. I was so lucky to have my father's support in treatment. You are doing so much in trying to keep the entire family supportive, and believe me--it probably means the world to your son.