The Wife and I are doing better
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: NW
Posts: 96
The Wife and I are doing better
So I have been sober for 25 days and I feel great about that. My wife has finally come around and is being nice and supportive. We have hung out many times over the last week talking. I am very confidant that we are going to work things out. We both agreed that counseling would be very helpful for both of us. She is worried though that I might not be as focused on my recovery if we are working on our marriage at the same time. My thoughts are that if I don't have the stress of wondering if we will ever be together again it will make my recovery easier. Does any one have advice on this subject? Should I just work on my recovery for now or try to do both?
Not angry just direct
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: England
Posts: 257
Hey White, well done on 25 days.
You'll no doubt get different views but mine is much like yours. I'd be feeling like all things are connected and that I'd like to sort out the whole pile. I don't know if that's necessarily good or bad for you, but I tend to think these things are organic so if you feel strong enough to look at the issues together then that's what I'd be doing if it were me in your shoes.
Glad you two are getting on better as it sucks trying to quit something at the same time as battling your other half.
You'll no doubt get different views but mine is much like yours. I'd be feeling like all things are connected and that I'd like to sort out the whole pile. I don't know if that's necessarily good or bad for you, but I tend to think these things are organic so if you feel strong enough to look at the issues together then that's what I'd be doing if it were me in your shoes.
Glad you two are getting on better as it sucks trying to quit something at the same time as battling your other half.
Perpetual Optimist
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: LA
Posts: 1,371
Congrats on 25 days! Is there a rush to start therapy before you have 90 days of sobriety under your belt? Therapy will no doubt bring out some triggers, so if you decide to start it, stay vigilant!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Congrats on your sober time. I think working on your marriage and your recovery at the same time is working towards the same goal: peace and harmony in your lives. I hope the counseling is helpful to you both. 
I think working on your marriage and your recovery at the same time is working towards the same goal: peace and harmony in your lives. I hope the counseling is helpful to you both. 
Better when never is never
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
Sobriety is the foundation of getting the marriage back on track, so keep that the priority. If you start to feel your sobriety getting shaky, then pull back on the marriage counseling to refocus on sobriety. Continued sobriety by itself can have wonder effects on your marriage (not always, but it can).
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