My drunk history...
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
My drunk history...
As I am packing for my move Monday to Maine and going through old papers I came across my workbook from my second rehab. There... stuck between lessons... was my drunk history.
In rehab we were asked to define each year and how drugs and alcohol affected our perception of the world. Like my childhood was lost to a drunk step father. My real father was a "gambler" as they say. Still an addiction to the point we were very poor because of it.
Then as I reviewed each year I came into my own....and along with it the culmination of all I had been taught silently from childhood. All the refusals to be like them were hopeless wishes of a hurt little boy.
I stopped everything I was doing to sit and reflect on my discovery. I wrote the history in July 2007.
I decided to add to the history the years between then and now.
I spent a few more years on crack. I continued to drink daily while professing my reluctance and desire for change. I added misery and unhappiness in heaps with each added year I continued to use.
My history takes a sharp turn in December 2012. I was part of a domestic abuse incident. I was not the abuser. It shifted everything.
I still drank a lot. But then with a different intent.
No day has past since then that I don't reflect in some way on this checkered past. But I have gained a lot of strength since then. I have listened to the lessons of SR. I decided then that this is done. Not sustainable.
I pack a truck up tomorrow with things. Just things. I will move 325 miles to my new history.
They say you cannot rewrite history. Not true.
I have the drunk history exercise packed for when I come across it again. Add a few more years. And smile as this journey continues... Sober.
Ken
In rehab we were asked to define each year and how drugs and alcohol affected our perception of the world. Like my childhood was lost to a drunk step father. My real father was a "gambler" as they say. Still an addiction to the point we were very poor because of it.
Then as I reviewed each year I came into my own....and along with it the culmination of all I had been taught silently from childhood. All the refusals to be like them were hopeless wishes of a hurt little boy.
I stopped everything I was doing to sit and reflect on my discovery. I wrote the history in July 2007.
I decided to add to the history the years between then and now.
I spent a few more years on crack. I continued to drink daily while professing my reluctance and desire for change. I added misery and unhappiness in heaps with each added year I continued to use.
My history takes a sharp turn in December 2012. I was part of a domestic abuse incident. I was not the abuser. It shifted everything.
I still drank a lot. But then with a different intent.
No day has past since then that I don't reflect in some way on this checkered past. But I have gained a lot of strength since then. I have listened to the lessons of SR. I decided then that this is done. Not sustainable.
I pack a truck up tomorrow with things. Just things. I will move 325 miles to my new history.
They say you cannot rewrite history. Not true.
I have the drunk history exercise packed for when I come across it again. Add a few more years. And smile as this journey continues... Sober.
Ken
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 987
Beautiful, as always, Ken.
I can't wait to hear of your adventures in Maine. Since I have joined the forum you and New York (Long Island, the city) have always been associated in my mind. Now thinking of Maine Ken is a whole new wonderful thing to contemplate.
I can't wait to hear of your adventures in Maine. Since I have joined the forum you and New York (Long Island, the city) have always been associated in my mind. Now thinking of Maine Ken is a whole new wonderful thing to contemplate.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
I was just lamenting to my girlfriend how my dog got loose yesterday, ran off into the woods, and came back later filthy, wet, and full of cockleburs. Today, the dog looked longingly out the window, ready to do it again. Dumb dog, I said. My girlfriend replied that maybe my dog isn't so dumb. "Live like someone left the gate open" she said. I had never heard the expression before.
Enjoy your journey now that your gate is open.
Enjoy your journey now that your gate is open.
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Firstymer.... That's very nicly said!
Thanks everyone for the well wishes! Cannot wait to share some new discoveries.
And M... I found a writing group to join. It will be fun to spend time relaxing and writing. The new place has a fireplace... Writing and fires go hand in hand.
Thanks everyone for the well wishes! Cannot wait to share some new discoveries.
And M... I found a writing group to join. It will be fun to spend time relaxing and writing. The new place has a fireplace... Writing and fires go hand in hand.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,561
Ken we go with you as you start your new adventure. Writing sounds wonderful.
I get 'Down East' Magazine & drool at the pictures. Looks like a lovely place - I've been to Acadia Nat'l Park long ago. Looking forward to hearing all about it Ken.
I get 'Down East' Magazine & drool at the pictures. Looks like a lovely place - I've been to Acadia Nat'l Park long ago. Looking forward to hearing all about it Ken.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Weasy! do you have your parka, wooly socks, mittens, scarf and hat all at the front of boxes? It's going to be COLD up there....do you have a garage for the car?
but you will be eating some of those fine cold water lobstertails soon.
but you will be eating some of those fine cold water lobstertails soon.
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