thisibelieve

Day #9 here of sobriety, not necessarily recovery, just sobriety. I'm really struggling pretty hard with an urge to drink today. I just want that initial burst of good feelings, that pop and sigh of relief.
I keep trying to think about all the ****** things drinking has done in my life- people I've hurt, how awful I feel when I wake up, nauseated and gagging, bloated swollen sausage fingers and big fat feet, the headaches make thinking clearly absolutely impossible, the sweat and clammy feeling of the alcohol trying desparately to get out.
I'm having a crummy week on top of everything, no friends around, can't drive, I'm broke, no meetings close in the area that I can go to today. It's just a crummy week, I've definitely had worse, and I think I'm doing alright in dealing with it, not great, but alright.
Today I'm just feeling really depressed. I want a driiiiiiiiiink, like a little toddler crying out and having a temper tantrum. I really want a pumpkin beer and in the word's of Verucca Salt, "I want it now!!"

I just needed to get this out
Thanks for listening

MidnightBlue

Hi, Thisibelieve.

Congrats on 9 days of sobriety.

Urges can be quite harsh in early sobriety, but they shall pass. This burst of good feeling is an illusion that keeps you in never ending hell that is constantly getting worse.

Distract yourself with something - anything. Take a walk, hit the gym, clean the house, read and post here - don't fix your mind on urges and don't feed the beast with your power.

Stay strong, keep posting. Urges are not forever.

Best wishes to you)

jaynie04

Hi, I grew up in another town outside of Boston that starts with a W, known for it's hardcore prison (oh and I played Violet Beaureregard in a 5th grade school play so I guess there is karma in the air)!

You are in the hard part right now, hang in there. It will pass, most cravings last about 5 minutes.

Can you go for a walk? Our minds have built in advertising departments. Did you notice how you didn't just mention beer, but "pumpkin beer". It's that scary alcoholic voice that reminds us of drinks to match the season. Amazing how we forget the hangovers, crawling to the bathroom in the middle of the night, night sweats, saying I will never never do this again.

If you want to cry, cry! Jump around, scream. Withdrawal does s**ck, big time. You have 9 days. It might come in waves but you can do this.

Don't chase that golden egg down the garbage chute Verruca!! I'll be over here chewing my blueberry gum!

Rooting for ya!

thisibelieve

Thank you all, I'm about to go for a walk and get a pumpkin COFFEE. This should help. I'm pretty confident in myself that TODAY I won't drink. It's October 12 and all I have to do today is worry about October 12.
I read a book about sobriety that said that for most people it takes around 60 days of sobriety for your brain- all the neurotransmitters and receptor- to get back to normal. So that at 60 days you start to feel normal feelings of happiness and decreased anxiety without drinking. Just wondering if this has been true for most people in their experience??

jaynie04

Absolutely, and I was really glad my therapist told me that. It's not mentioned much and I think having realistic expectations about what the process is like helped me tremendously. Actually the first 2 years is considered early recovery...so be gentle with yourself!

least

Yes, I'd have to say that I was feeling much better, more normal, at about two or three months. Hang in there. It gets better.

sugarbear1

Keep moving forward and stay stopped!!!!