I need help to stop myself from drinking
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: NSW
Posts: 2
I need help to stop myself from drinking
Hi
I am a 37 year old male from Australia and I have been drinking since the age of 21, everyday. I am at the point where a 6 pack of beer and two bottles of wine a day doesn't do it for me anymore.
I know its affecting me because my right side of my stomach region feels like I have something growing in there and everyday my sides hurt. It is ruining and I am more than sure destroying my life.
I am a very functional worker and have always had senior management roles and this has not (well I don't think it has) impacted on my ability to perform my role. I can count a total of 7 weeks in the last 16 years that I have not had or more so needed a drink in the afternoon. I always wake up telling myself in the mirror I will stop today (today will be my last drink then I will stop) but never do.
I really don't know what to do next as I have been to 3 different doctors and all they tell is that I need to stop drinking, that which I already know. I is impacting my honesty with my family (I live away from them for work and see them every 4 or so weeks) as I lie to my wife so she sends me money and it is all spent on alcohol.
All generations of my family have been heavy drinkers but I assumed this was the norm as they all lived long lives. It has always been a running pun that 'no one can hold their drink like an [surname]".
I write this with a heavy heart (and drink in hand) as I don't know what or how I should go about living the remainder of my life as this poison has a nasty hold in me. I have therefore decided to post on this forum as every search I have done has lead me here.
If you have read this I thank you for your time.
Kindest Regards
Wavesea
I am a 37 year old male from Australia and I have been drinking since the age of 21, everyday. I am at the point where a 6 pack of beer and two bottles of wine a day doesn't do it for me anymore.
I know its affecting me because my right side of my stomach region feels like I have something growing in there and everyday my sides hurt. It is ruining and I am more than sure destroying my life.
I am a very functional worker and have always had senior management roles and this has not (well I don't think it has) impacted on my ability to perform my role. I can count a total of 7 weeks in the last 16 years that I have not had or more so needed a drink in the afternoon. I always wake up telling myself in the mirror I will stop today (today will be my last drink then I will stop) but never do.
I really don't know what to do next as I have been to 3 different doctors and all they tell is that I need to stop drinking, that which I already know. I is impacting my honesty with my family (I live away from them for work and see them every 4 or so weeks) as I lie to my wife so she sends me money and it is all spent on alcohol.
All generations of my family have been heavy drinkers but I assumed this was the norm as they all lived long lives. It has always been a running pun that 'no one can hold their drink like an [surname]".
I write this with a heavy heart (and drink in hand) as I don't know what or how I should go about living the remainder of my life as this poison has a nasty hold in me. I have therefore decided to post on this forum as every search I have done has lead me here.
If you have read this I thank you for your time.
Kindest Regards
Wavesea
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, Wavesea.
Welcome to SR!
My journey to sobriety also started with posting here. And in a couple of days I am hitting on year.
The best time to stop to drink is NOW - put it down, drain the rest, start the new life.
Many of us managed to be highly functional at work, and still suffer from addiction.
Explores this site - there are many sobriety programs you may find here - AA, AVRT, SMART, etc.
It also won't hurt to consult a doc.
Life in sobriety is so much better. Give it a try!
Best wishes to you.
Welcome to SR!
My journey to sobriety also started with posting here. And in a couple of days I am hitting on year.
The best time to stop to drink is NOW - put it down, drain the rest, start the new life.
Many of us managed to be highly functional at work, and still suffer from addiction.
Explores this site - there are many sobriety programs you may find here - AA, AVRT, SMART, etc.
It also won't hurt to consult a doc.
Life in sobriety is so much better. Give it a try!
Best wishes to you.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Hey Wavesea ,
welcome to SR , drinking at those kinda levels could mean you have problems when you try to give up , it's best done under the supervision of a Dr who can keep an eye on your blood pressure and make sure you do it safely . Why not ask for a full body test as well ...
Life sober is possible
and can be fun , it is different of course and needs working at to get the best out of it but in my opinion it's worthwhile
For me i knew i had to give up for years but kept denying it ... eventually i asked myself "if not now then when ?" time wasted in not getting sober seemed a waste of whatever life i had left to live, so i got on with it .
SR is a great resource and some people use "programs" to help stay sober once they give up , AA , AVRT , Life ring ... if you read round the forums here you'll find out .
The class of october thread is good to hear what others are doing who are going for it this month as well , just post to join in :- http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-2-a-9.html
Nice to have you here , hope to see you become a regular , m
welcome to SR , drinking at those kinda levels could mean you have problems when you try to give up , it's best done under the supervision of a Dr who can keep an eye on your blood pressure and make sure you do it safely . Why not ask for a full body test as well ...
Life sober is possible
and can be fun , it is different of course and needs working at to get the best out of it but in my opinion it's worthwhile For me i knew i had to give up for years but kept denying it ... eventually i asked myself "if not now then when ?" time wasted in not getting sober seemed a waste of whatever life i had left to live, so i got on with it .
SR is a great resource and some people use "programs" to help stay sober once they give up , AA , AVRT , Life ring ... if you read round the forums here you'll find out .
The class of october thread is good to hear what others are doing who are going for it this month as well , just post to join in :- http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-2-a-9.html
Nice to have you here , hope to see you become a regular , m
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi Wavesea, i think your circumstances are not helping, being away from your family for long periods. I'm guessing you're in the mining industry, staying in a camp where there is a wet mess? If I'm wrong, is there easy access to alcohol where you are?
Whether or not you're feeling it now, your body will be taking a huge hit with the alcohol and it's going to catch up eventually. You are drinking way over the safe limit.
Have you considered confiding in your wife so she can support you? if the place you're working at has an AA perhaps you could attend that?
I think you're going to struggle without some professional help and support; possibly the confidential services provided by your workplace.
Please think about what support you can get together for yourself.
Whether or not you're feeling it now, your body will be taking a huge hit with the alcohol and it's going to catch up eventually. You are drinking way over the safe limit.
Have you considered confiding in your wife so she can support you? if the place you're working at has an AA perhaps you could attend that?
I think you're going to struggle without some professional help and support; possibly the confidential services provided by your workplace.
Please think about what support you can get together for yourself.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Welcome to SR, great to have you with us.
I was similar to you, I came from generations of drinkers and considered it the norm to drink every night. I didn't realise there was a problem before I started to become physically ill and spent days at the weekend unable to function as I was suffering withdrawals.
I'm not sure how I ended up at SR, but this site has literally saved my life. Spend time reading around, there is a ton of advice and support here.
I didn't think it was even possible for me to live a life without alcohol. Turned out it was the best move I ever made x
I was similar to you, I came from generations of drinkers and considered it the norm to drink every night. I didn't realise there was a problem before I started to become physically ill and spent days at the weekend unable to function as I was suffering withdrawals.
I'm not sure how I ended up at SR, but this site has literally saved my life. Spend time reading around, there is a ton of advice and support here.
I didn't think it was even possible for me to live a life without alcohol. Turned out it was the best move I ever made x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK (England)
Posts: 2,782
Welcome wavesea, posting on here and reaching out for help is a great start. SR has been a vital part of my recovery. It is possible to stop drinking and live a more fulfilling sober life. It's a good idea to speak to a doctor before you detox to make sure you are safe. There is tons of support here. Glad you have joined us.
Learning to LIve
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: NSW Australia
Posts: 908
Hi wavesea
Fellow NSW resident here. No tmuch more I can add that hasn't already been said ... take some time off work if you can ... get medical supervision for detox ... stock up with healthy food ... healthy drinks .. check out AA ... a counsellor ...AVRT (they have already been mentioned.
SR Chat and the forums have been my main form of support (and AVRT). They have helped me stay sober for over 12 months now. BUt you do need a plan and you may need help to implement the plan.
Good Luck and keep on posting.
Come join us in chat .. we are always looking for more Aussies to chat to ATM i think I am the only one waving the NSW flag
Fellow NSW resident here. No tmuch more I can add that hasn't already been said ... take some time off work if you can ... get medical supervision for detox ... stock up with healthy food ... healthy drinks .. check out AA ... a counsellor ...AVRT (they have already been mentioned.
SR Chat and the forums have been my main form of support (and AVRT). They have helped me stay sober for over 12 months now. BUt you do need a plan and you may need help to implement the plan.
Good Luck and keep on posting.
Come join us in chat .. we are always looking for more Aussies to chat to ATM i think I am the only one waving the NSW flag
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,777
to SR! You've come to a good place for support to stop drinking. All you have to do is just not drink for today. Then tomorrow do the same. Take it one day at a time. You can do this! Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Welcome to SR, wavesea. The good people here have been an amazing source of support and advice during the early days of my sobriety. Good luck on this difficult, but very, very rewarding journey. I am glad you are here with us.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: NSW
Posts: 2
Thankyou everyone for your kind words and support. Today is going to be the first day of the rest of my life.
Least has put it very well, I will not have a drink today and that alone is a big step for me. A PM is received said that keeping a dairy is also helpful in the journey so I will be doing that too.
Again thankyou all and I will be following through with all the advice you all have offered.
Least has put it very well, I will not have a drink today and that alone is a big step for me. A PM is received said that keeping a dairy is also helpful in the journey so I will be doing that too.
Again thankyou all and I will be following through with all the advice you all have offered.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,921
Welcome to SR!
If you've been drinking pretty much every day for 16 years, you are not suddenly going to stop drinking, by yourself.
While this website can be very helpful, you need to reach out and get help from others. For me, the program of AA really helped. I realized I wasn't alone in my struggles, in fact their are a bunch of people in my town who "look pretty normal", but are alcoholics, just like me. Learning how to live life alcohol free, from people who have figured out how to do that, has been very beneficial.
If you've been drinking pretty much every day for 16 years, you are not suddenly going to stop drinking, by yourself.
While this website can be very helpful, you need to reach out and get help from others. For me, the program of AA really helped. I realized I wasn't alone in my struggles, in fact their are a bunch of people in my town who "look pretty normal", but are alcoholics, just like me. Learning how to live life alcohol free, from people who have figured out how to do that, has been very beneficial.
You've made a great start in joining here Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Wales UK
Posts: 859
Remember you'll have a lot of time you need to fill with things that will help, I found lists , days were good, and reading all the books I hadn't read but started, count the cash, get a hobby !
Then remember what you going to drink, sweet drinks I almost went over the top with apple juice but it helped the foggy thoughts then last but not least ........
KEEP IN TOUCH HERE!!
After 30 years of failing to moderate this place kept me through the difficult times and the good, then the problematic but it worked.
John.
Then remember what you going to drink, sweet drinks I almost went over the top with apple juice but it helped the foggy thoughts then last but not least ........
KEEP IN TOUCH HERE!!
After 30 years of failing to moderate this place kept me through the difficult times and the good, then the problematic but it worked.
John.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Wavesea, welcome and I'm so glad you had decided to stop drinking.
My suggestion, what worked for me in the very early days, was changing my routine. The hours right after supper/early evening were dreadful for me, so I made myself get out of the house and walk. Try avoiding stores where you normally buy alcohol. Making little changes like that can help empower you in the early days.
My suggestion, what worked for me in the very early days, was changing my routine. The hours right after supper/early evening were dreadful for me, so I made myself get out of the house and walk. Try avoiding stores where you normally buy alcohol. Making little changes like that can help empower you in the early days.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Good luck wavesea! Although I have several friends who have quit on their own without outside help, personally I was not able to quit without going to rehab. I was there for six weeks, which was enough to get me over the first week/initial withdrawal (most dangerous time, risk of seizures, heart attacks, etc.) and the rest of the time was spent learning about addiction, tools to living sober, group sessions, etc. I seriously doubt I could have made it without medical and professional help.
I would also add that sobriety is nothing like what I expected. I believed I would spend the rest of my life wanting to drink and being miserable as a result. Not true. I have found AA to be really helpful, though I was dead set against it when I went to rehab.
Keep posting, you can do this, and won't regret it!
I would also add that sobriety is nothing like what I expected. I believed I would spend the rest of my life wanting to drink and being miserable as a result. Not true. I have found AA to be really helpful, though I was dead set against it when I went to rehab.
Keep posting, you can do this, and won't regret it!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: State of Acceptance
Posts: 756
Welcome wavesea! I am new to recovery too! Going on 8 weeks!! The one thing that helps me most is to envision what will most likely happen if I have that one glass of wine. By this point, I already know what will happen and I don't want that to be my life anymore. However, I have no idea what tomorrow will bring while being sober. I prefer not knowing and being pleasantly surprised each day!!!
I also read SR every chance I get. SR has been invaluable in my recovery!!
Welcome again!
I also read SR every chance I get. SR has been invaluable in my recovery!!
Welcome again!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 1
Thank you for sharing. I just recently admitted that my drinking has become a problem as well. I suppose the only advice I can give you is the same advice that I plan to follow myself. If you want to stop drinking, don't drink anymore. I know it sounds absurd but I am going cold turkey. Just gotta do it. I realized that alcohol has got a grip on me and though I am a "functioning" alcoholic I have reached a point where I need a buzz everyday and engage in very few activities without it. Life can be so amazing if your perception is not clouded by booze. I remember a time where I experienced joy in simple things and I was sober. I am getting up every morning and choosing not to drink so that I can get my mind back in to enjoying life at its fullest. I hope that you will join me.
Good Luck,
Lisa
Good Luck,
Lisa
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