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AA not work for anybody else??

Old 10-11-2013, 02:00 PM
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AA not work for anybody else??

Hey y'all I was just wondering if anybody else has any other ideas besides AA? I can't wrap my hands around the whole only way you get sober is to have a " spiritual experience ". I've tried it over and over and I keep going back out. Any books or websites or anything that anybody else found helpful??? Day 5 and looking for some ideas....
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Old 10-11-2013, 02:06 PM
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Hi ryan,welcome to SR.

I didn't use AA. I tried it but it wasn't for me. I used Rational Recovery: AVRT. The book is excellent and you can get it for a few pounds/dollars off Amazon/ebay. There is also a website and crash course but book goes into more detail

There is a whole section on SR which gives lots of info on non 12 step ways to get sober.Someone else will know how to link it
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Old 10-11-2013, 02:06 PM
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Hi Ryan, glad you found us and a big welcome to you. I suggest you sit yourself down and start reading here, in the newcomers forum, in the alcoholism forum, in the AA forum, and in the Secular Connections forum. You will get a tremendous amount of information from those that have gotten sober, and from those too that are struggling with the same questions you have.

The Secular Connection forum is the one that is focussed on alternatives to AA, and there is a long list of resources. Here is a good summary of those resources. I would add Rational Recovery/AVRT to the list too.

I hope you find what you are looking for, Ryan. There is a lot of support for you here.
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Old 10-11-2013, 02:09 PM
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Ryan:

AA is only one method of recovery. Many more are discussed here and there are several subforums off the main page that discuss them. There are also many self-help books, videos and online resources. You may also be able to find local resources via your municipal heald or hospital facitlites.

SR of course is a very great resource in itself - spend some time reading here and you'll find lots of good info about it.

Congrats on Day 5 too!
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Old 10-11-2013, 02:12 PM
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Hi Ryan,

Along with AVRT is REBT (Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy) and SMART (Self Management and Recovery Training). I also heard of something called LifeRing but know nothing about that one. Yeah - check out the Secular Connection forum - lots of good info there and references (books, sites, workbooks, etc.).

Welcome to SR and congrats on 5 days sober!
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Old 10-11-2013, 02:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Ryan8269 View Post
Hey y'all I was just wondering if anybody else has any other ideas besides AA? I can't wrap my hands around the whole only way you get sober is to have a " spiritual experience ". I've tried it over and over and I keep going back out. Any books or websites or anything that anybody else found helpful??? Day 5 and looking for some ideas....
Ryan,
i joined the forum on The LifeRing Home Page | Sobriety, Secularity, Self-Help, which is a secular, abstinece-based organization. they do have an excellent workbook by Martin Nicolaus called "recovery by Choice", which you can access through that website.
day five is good; keep going. there's lots of support here and other places.
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Old 10-11-2013, 03:17 PM
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I'm not in AA or any program other than counseling, but want to welcome you to SR! Glad you joined us.
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Old 10-11-2013, 04:17 PM
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Yeah, I had a real problem in AA also. It finally just became nonsense for me to drink or I realized it was nonsense. I finally had the bright idea that if I did not drink anything, I would not get drunk. That always works. Really, the awfulizing about alcohol and the constant focus had a negative impact for me. I just finally found that if I just concentrated on living then things would get better. I just happen not to drink along the way.
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Old 10-11-2013, 04:31 PM
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As you see, Ryan, there are many ways to stop drinking.

I hope you continue to read and post.
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Old 10-11-2013, 05:58 PM
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AA, or any program doesn't work for us, we work it. I didn't "get" the spiritual part until I read Appendix II. "We Agnostics" just did not do it for me. When I stopped seeking a higher power and began considering a power greater than Warren, I suddenly "got it." No burning bush or lightning bolts for me either. Just a lot of focus and work.

Joy,

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Old 10-11-2013, 06:10 PM
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Thanks y'all.... I don't have a problem with the " higher power " aspect.... I am a Christian, I go to small groups and study the bible twice a week... But my issue with AA is that everytime you make 1 mistake ( missing a meeting 1 day, or not making coffee etc) they make you feel like **** and pick up another white chip... It's like making the kid who acts up in school wear a "Dunce" hat... And for me, that just adds guilt and keeps me out of the rooms! Can anyone relate??

I did however meet this guy recently who I was told to call from my therapist and he told me something I've never heard from aa.... He said "if you are going to choose recovery, the program you choose has to feel right to you, or it's not going to work". I thought that made a lot of sense.
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Old 10-11-2013, 06:17 PM
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Ryan, in the Newcomers forum, we don't allow bashing of any program.

I understand that AA didn't work for you, but it's best to take the suggestions in this thread and find something that works for you.

I firmly believe that it's the motivation involved in recovery, rather than the program.
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Old 10-11-2013, 06:32 PM
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Ryan, I'm so sorry to hear of your bad experience at meetings. I live in a city that's just big enough to have all kinds of meetings, including what I call the hard cores. I avoid those meetings like the plague. My sponsor (33 yrs) told me one time "there are people who have been dry so long they're a fire hazard" I think that's what you might be running into.
Keep trying my friend, whether it's AA or something else.

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Old 10-11-2013, 06:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Anna View Post
Ryan, in the Newcomers forum, we don't allow bashing of any program.

I understand that AA didn't work for you, but it's best to take the suggestions in this thread and find something that works for you.

I firmly believe that it's the motivation involved in recovery, rather than the program.
"Bashing" Really? I've been involved with AA since "93". He's voicing real concerns and looking for real answers!
Oh lawdy, now I'll here from Dee.
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Old 10-11-2013, 06:45 PM
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I'm sorry... I must have missed the part where I " bashed " any program?
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Old 10-11-2013, 06:53 PM
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Anna... I'm glad AA worked for you... I'm serious... We all suffer from the same disease.... I was simply stating the fact that it didn't work for me..... Or in AA terms, " for this alcoholic" it wasn't right for me..... I went to meetings, did the steps and had 10 months sober, but I felt terrible still and went out.... I meant no disrespect to AA, it has helped an enormous amount of ppl.... Keep in mind anna, we are all in the same boat, just looking for the right direction home.......
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Old 10-11-2013, 06:57 PM
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Ryan, I have never used AA.

And the term 'bash' is simply the generic term we use in our rules.

We don't allow debate about recovery programs in this forum.

The Newcomers Forum is a safe and welcoming place for newcomers. Respect is essential. Debates over Recovery Methods are not allowed on the Newcomer's Forum. Posts that violate this rule will be removed without notice. (Support and experience only please.)
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Old 10-11-2013, 07:14 PM
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Lol ok anna.
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Old 10-11-2013, 07:15 PM
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I was simy asking for suggestions on other programs or additional recovery advice.... Sorry if I broke your rules
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Old 10-11-2013, 07:36 PM
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My advice is to go to different meetings. I'm 9 away from my 90 in 90. Some meetings are good some are bad, and the steps and traditions are a suggested program of recovery. At first the old timers will give you tough love because they have literally seen thousands of people come and go throughout the years. If you stick around it gets better.
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