Wife needing support for AH
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Carlisle, PA
Posts: 1
Wife needing support for AH
Hello..not sure where or how to begin. I don't know if I am coming or going. My AH of 10 years (together for 12) is being discharged from rehab this coming Sunday. I have been doubting my decision to allow him to come back home. I am still trying to process how bad his addiction has gotten as well as dealing with all the lies and deceptions over the years. Which alot has only come to light since he has been in rehab(only 23 days). I have set some boundaries for him and the consequences for breaking those boundaries, but I am having a very hard time believing anything that he is saying. I don't believe that he wants to get clean. He only went to rehab because after he left our house after being caught again taking too many pills and he no longer wanted to be treated like a child, I refused to allow him to come home until he got help.
When I talk to him on the phone, he repeats what he hears the counselors, other addicts and even what I have said to him. There is no sincerity to his words at all. Feeling like this is doomed to fail from the start.
Any guidance on dealing with the anxiety of his discharge, dealing with the anger and hurt, and how to emotionally detach enough to not allow myself to be pulled under again but still support him as much as possible would be greatly appreciated.
When I talk to him on the phone, he repeats what he hears the counselors, other addicts and even what I have said to him. There is no sincerity to his words at all. Feeling like this is doomed to fail from the start.
Any guidance on dealing with the anxiety of his discharge, dealing with the anger and hurt, and how to emotionally detach enough to not allow myself to be pulled under again but still support him as much as possible would be greatly appreciated.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,892
Welcome to SR, Frogger. You might want to consider having him move to a sober living facility after he is released from rehab. If you aren't ready for him to come home, then tell him that.
Just an FYI - Boundaries are for YOU, not the addict. They aren't rules for him to follow, they are like rules you make for yourself about what you will and will not accept or live with. As you know, if he wants to use, he is going to use. You have no control over that; however, you DO have control over what you are willing to live with.
We have a very good Friends and Family forum here. You'll find a lot of support there. Here's a link...
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Just an FYI - Boundaries are for YOU, not the addict. They aren't rules for him to follow, they are like rules you make for yourself about what you will and will not accept or live with. As you know, if he wants to use, he is going to use. You have no control over that; however, you DO have control over what you are willing to live with.
We have a very good Friends and Family forum here. You'll find a lot of support there. Here's a link...
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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