Lots of "why" to stop drinking, not so much "how"
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 87
Lots of "why" to stop drinking, not so much "how"
I know all about why I should stop drinking... health problems, family pressures or problems at work, school, home not to mention legal problems as a result of misuse of alcohol. Financial ruin. And what about social isolation; I am devastated by social isolation.
And, while I know this I have (as of this moment) been unable to quit. Somethings work for a while, then back I go. Right now, I'm just trying to detox and put some days together.
For me, it's absolutely necessary to have a support group while I try in earnest to quit. That's what I'm finding here.
And, while I know this I have (as of this moment) been unable to quit. Somethings work for a while, then back I go. Right now, I'm just trying to detox and put some days together.
For me, it's absolutely necessary to have a support group while I try in earnest to quit. That's what I'm finding here.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
Yes, SL, you will find a lot of support here from folks who have been in your shoes.
I do hope you have consulted a doctor during detox. Always a good idea.
As to the how to stay stopped equation, many find posting and reading here a good start, others opt for a specific recovery program such as SMART, AA, Celebrate Recovery, Rational Recovery. There's tons of program literature out there.
But the important thing is to get through detox and, as you say, chalk up some sober time. That seems daunting, but I just had to sweat (literally) it out for a couple of weeks, set all aside and just concentrate on not drinking or drugging no matter what.
I do hope you have consulted a doctor during detox. Always a good idea.
As to the how to stay stopped equation, many find posting and reading here a good start, others opt for a specific recovery program such as SMART, AA, Celebrate Recovery, Rational Recovery. There's tons of program literature out there.
But the important thing is to get through detox and, as you say, chalk up some sober time. That seems daunting, but I just had to sweat (literally) it out for a couple of weeks, set all aside and just concentrate on not drinking or drugging no matter what.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
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It's like a fight in a cage.
People around you can cheer you on and hope,pray that you come out the winner.
But,they can't change the rules or the outcome of the fight.
It's all up to you.
That's what makes addiction so damn hard.
Cause the opponent in the fight is ultimately YOU.
And knows all your strengths and weeknesses.
People around you can cheer you on and hope,pray that you come out the winner.
But,they can't change the rules or the outcome of the fight.
It's all up to you.
That's what makes addiction so damn hard.
Cause the opponent in the fight is ultimately YOU.
And knows all your strengths and weeknesses.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 544
Originally Posted by resolute50 
It's like a fight in a cage.
People around you can cheer you on and hope,pray that you come out the winner.
But,they can't change the rules or the outcome of the fight.
It's all up to you.
People around you can cheer you on and hope,pray that you come out the winner.
But,they can't change the rules or the outcome of the fight.
It's all up to you.
The strong cannot help the weak until the weak are willing to help themselves.
No one can change your condition but yourself.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 87
Originally Posted by Amajorityofone
Amen.
The strong cannot help the weak until the weak are willing to help themselves.
No one can change your condition but yourself.
The strong cannot help the weak until the weak are willing to help themselves.
No one can change your condition but yourself.
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: United Kingdom.
Posts: 3,007
Keep it simple Sarah,stay away from the first drink.
You have to want to stay sober more than you want to drink.
If you get the craving for a drink post on here,24/7 there is someone online.
You have to want to stay sober more than you want to drink.
If you get the craving for a drink post on here,24/7 there is someone online.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 544
Originally Posted by SarahLanter
Strange to think of addiction as a weakness; the disease concept is so well established. But, I think we alcoholic/addicts do tend to take on the idea that if I were stronger, if I had more will power, if I believed in "X", I would be free of this monster. It's part of the self-loathing.
Be Encouraged!
If—
IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
- Rudyard Kipling
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Earth
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No disrespect intended, but the how is simple. I do not pour alcohol in my mouth, the same way I do not pour strawberry milkshakes in my mouth. Getting oneself properly motivated to not take that action, and continue not taking it, therein lies the problem.
1 solution, many different methods to help getting and keep that motivation. They are all here, awaiting exploration.
My thoughts? Shoot till u win. Keep trying til you find something that works for you. Then stop looking, but keep living whatever program gives you that motivation.
1 solution, many different methods to help getting and keep that motivation. They are all here, awaiting exploration.
My thoughts? Shoot till u win. Keep trying til you find something that works for you. Then stop looking, but keep living whatever program gives you that motivation.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
Originally Posted by SarahLanter
Strange to think of addiction as a weakness; the disease concept is so well established. But, I think we alcoholic/addicts do tend to take on the idea that if I were stronger, if I had more will power, if I believed in "X", I would be free of this monster. It's part of the self-loathing.
The method is different for everybody.
I wasn't sure if I had the fight in me. But,I wanted to have sobriety more than anything. I'm still learning but I'm getting where I want to go now.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 544
Originally Posted by foolsgold66
No disrespect intended, but the how is simple.
Anyone, and I mean a-n-y-b-o-d-y can stop drinking for let's say, a day. The hard part is repeating the process after you've gotten into a fight with your spouse, lost all your friends, and life has suddenly become repetitious and boring.
“No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness — they have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it”
-C.S. Lewis
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Originally Posted by Amajorityofone
Simple yes, easy no.
Anyone, and I mean a-n-y-b-o-d-y can stop drinking for let's say, a day. The hard part is repeating the process after you've gotten into a fight with your spouse, lost all your friends, and life has suddenly become repetitious and boring.
“No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness — they have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it”
-C.S. Lewis
Anyone, and I mean a-n-y-b-o-d-y can stop drinking for let's say, a day. The hard part is repeating the process after you've gotten into a fight with your spouse, lost all your friends, and life has suddenly become repetitious and boring.
“No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness — they have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it”
-C.S. Lewis
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
As stated, just don't drink even if your azz falls off. I needed the support of the experienced people in AA and then eventually got it. They taught me the number one thing was being honest with myself about MY drinking, I had to stop for me not the family, job or the judge. I needed a lot of meetings even when I didn't want to go. To my thinking it made sense to think that if I don't pick up the first drink, I don't have to get sober AGAIN. That's my starter, next is STAYING sober. BE WELL
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Location: SE Arizona
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In my view, quitting drinking simply requires taking ownership of ones drinking problem. Once you have truly acknowledged that you have a problem with alcohol then you have also recognized that only you can take the steps needed solve it.
I think alcoholism starts as starts as a habit and ultimately leads to chemical dependence. But, whether habit or disease, quitting drinking ultimately requires one to make a lifelong commitment to sobriety. This means constant watchfulness, avoidance and will power.
Early sobriety is the hardest time: eventually one will form new habits and seldom think of having a drink. But, for an alcoholic, sobriety is truly a lifetime effort; alcohol never lets go of you. I started again after over 30 years sober. I regret it every day and quitting again has been difficult, at best.
I think alcoholism starts as starts as a habit and ultimately leads to chemical dependence. But, whether habit or disease, quitting drinking ultimately requires one to make a lifelong commitment to sobriety. This means constant watchfulness, avoidance and will power.
Early sobriety is the hardest time: eventually one will form new habits and seldom think of having a drink. But, for an alcoholic, sobriety is truly a lifetime effort; alcohol never lets go of you. I started again after over 30 years sober. I regret it every day and quitting again has been difficult, at best.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 87
Originally Posted by Cascabel
In my view, quitting drinking simply requires taking ownership of ones drinking problem. Once you have truly acknowledged that you have a problem with alcohol then you have also recognized that only you can take the steps needed solve it.
I think alcoholism starts as starts as a habit and ultimately leads to chemical dependence. But, whether habit or disease, quitting drinking ultimately requires one to make a lifelong commitment to sobriety. This means constant watchfulness, avoidance and will power.
Early sobriety is the hardest time: eventually one will form new habits and seldom think of having a drink. But, for an alcoholic, sobriety is truly a lifetime effort; alcohol never lets go of you. I started again after over 30 years sober. I regret it every day and quitting again has been difficult, at best.
I think alcoholism starts as starts as a habit and ultimately leads to chemical dependence. But, whether habit or disease, quitting drinking ultimately requires one to make a lifelong commitment to sobriety. This means constant watchfulness, avoidance and will power.
Early sobriety is the hardest time: eventually one will form new habits and seldom think of having a drink. But, for an alcoholic, sobriety is truly a lifetime effort; alcohol never lets go of you. I started again after over 30 years sober. I regret it every day and quitting again has been difficult, at best.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
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Posts: 6,561
Welcome on Sarah, glad you're here. Four and one half years demonstrates an ability to do it, that's for sure. As others mentioned, you have to find what works for you best, in your case I suspect you know what that is. I also have lots of periods of sobriety and tend to slip up after some time. Checking in here frequently and working on myself more this time around seems to be helping.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
Sarah,
I can only tell you what worked for me. I made the decision to stop drinking. I took the option off the table. I don't drink no matter how I feel about it. Feelings change. I also found many things of value to do in this life. I volunteer. I'm active in youth organizations. I run. I meditate.
For me, I had to break the habit of drinking. Then I had to find things to fill that time that helped reestablished a sense of self-worth in my life.
May you find your path to sobriety and out of the suffering caused by drink.
I can only tell you what worked for me. I made the decision to stop drinking. I took the option off the table. I don't drink no matter how I feel about it. Feelings change. I also found many things of value to do in this life. I volunteer. I'm active in youth organizations. I run. I meditate.
For me, I had to break the habit of drinking. Then I had to find things to fill that time that helped reestablished a sense of self-worth in my life.
May you find your path to sobriety and out of the suffering caused by drink.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 18
Welcome! Don't drink. Don't die. You'll be sober - the rest you will learn as time goes by. You will put together "your recovery program" and will find tools to solve problems, just like you are doing here. While we can burn down our persoanl "Rome" in a day, we can't rebuild it in a day! Glad you're here!
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 87
Originally Posted by ru12
Sarah,
I can only tell you what worked for me. I made the decision to stop drinking. I took the option off the table. I don't drink no matter how I feel about it. Felling change. I also found many things of value to do in this life. I volunteer. I'm active in youth organizations. I run. I meditate.
For me, I had to break the habit of drinking. Then I had to find things to fill that time that helped reestablished a sense of self-worth in my life.
May you find your path to sobriety and out of the suffering caused by drink.
I can only tell you what worked for me. I made the decision to stop drinking. I took the option off the table. I don't drink no matter how I feel about it. Felling change. I also found many things of value to do in this life. I volunteer. I'm active in youth organizations. I run. I meditate.
For me, I had to break the habit of drinking. Then I had to find things to fill that time that helped reestablished a sense of self-worth in my life.
May you find your path to sobriety and out of the suffering caused by drink.
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 145
Make a list of everything in your life that alcohol has ruined for you, and get MAD.
I can think of probably 50 things that are a direct effect of my drinking that are not good in my life that would **** me off right now. I am starting to loathe alcohol.
I can think of probably 50 things that are a direct effect of my drinking that are not good in my life that would **** me off right now. I am starting to loathe alcohol.
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