Ruturn

So today is day 10. Still feeling much more positive that I will do this this time. Question is this:

This morning I had a meeting with a counselor/therapist who has as one of her specialties addiction therapy. I was really looking forward to it as another means of cementing my moving forward toward a life of recovery. Meeting was mostly an information recording session, which I expected. At the end she told me that her program required new patients to agree to two fixed-time meetings per week. I told her I didn't think I could commit to that. I explained that with the work and childcare schedule and not living in town I only have from about 9 to 4 to get everything done in town that needs to be done for the day. I should throw in here that my wife travels 30-35 weeks per year and in those times I am effectively a single parent with some other complicating factors because of my drinking history. The way I fit the meeting in today was basically I had to skip an AA meeting to do it. I told my sponsor beforehand and he was ok with it. I said I was reluctant to drop more AA meetings and didn't really have the option of cutting the work times or times I had to be around for the kids. I further told her that with my crazy schedule I can't commit to the same day and time every week. Between work meetings I have to attend and the days I'm out of town driving a rig for my wife's business I can and will commit to one meeting per week, but it will probably have to be on a different day and time almost every week. She was less than pleased. So...

Am I shooting myself in the foot by trying to keep control and not do what I'm told by her? Lol, I'm committed to making it this time but I also can't just drop the other responsibilities. I will discuss this with my sponsor tonight, but I would appreciate any thoughts y'all might have. Thanks! D

Nuudawn

My therapist is a huge driving force in my recovery. I didn't go to her initially over my drinking but rather a toxic relationship (with a man not a bottle : ).

For the first 6 months I saw her bi-weekly. Now it's monthly but due to holidays I am 6 weeks this time between appointments. She has been clean & sober 20+ years and sobered up with AA.

Since you are going to AA ...and therapy would interfere with that...perhaps shop for a therapist that could allow you to do both. I think doubling up with both AA and a therapist is a great idea..so don't let either count out the other.

Just my two pennies.

hypochondriac

Okay I may not be the best person to answer this, being renowned for not doing as I am told... but in no way would I let a counsellor I have just started seeing dictate to me what to do. I am always confused when I see posts like this because I always though counsellors were meant to be objective and I certainly thought they would know that people don't respond well to being pushed. Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that they challenge you, but not that they dictate...

doggonecarl

Just playing devil's advocate here...you managed to fit your drinking into your crazy schedule, right? Then fit your recovery in.

That being said, is she the only addiction specialist in your town? If not, perhaps you can find one a little more flexible with their schedule.

Br00ksie

I think that therapy is important, as is AA and family. Would your therapist be open to compromise? Maybe you could start off by going once a week and more on weeks where you can fit two meetings into your schedule.

Sober living requires a commitment to sobriety in many different ways, one of which is self-care. If the time commitment ends up being more stressful than helpful, then something has to give and you have to do what you can to ensure that "something" isn't your sobriety!

The effort you're making is AWESOME, by the way! Way to go!

ClearLight

I shopped around for my therapist.
There was one that came from a heavy Christian point of view - not for me.
One was into Hypno-therapy. Also not for me.
I suggest you shop around to find one that fits your needs - schedule wise and point of view wise.
Don't worry about offending the therapist. They're used to people shopping around. In fact, after my first session with my current therapist she was the one that asked me if I felt comfortable and wanted to come back.

Ruturn

Thanks for all the responses guys. As of now I have an appointment with her set for next week and I'm going to have to schedule follow-ons at the end of each time I'm there. A couple of you asked about seeing another therapist. To see another one who is an addiction specialist isn't an option without driving 90 minutes or so. To see a general therapist there are several other options. I emailed with this one last night after I'd read your responses and talked to my sponsor and I think we've agreed on a plan that will work for both of us. Thank you all for you opinions, I appreciate it.

afloatsober

Probably just testing the waters and making a determination about your level of commitment.
In the end, i learned that i needed to be prepared to go to any lengths.
All of those things that i put before my sobriety i was to lose.
Wife of 26 years, career of 30 years, house, cash the lot...
Just MY experience.
Wish i'd listened and agreed to my first sponsors meeting proposals!
G