feralfemale

Hopefully this is not considered a medical question, because I really hope for some feedback on this.

I will let you know a little of my story, just to put things in context:

A little over a year ago I turned 21 and that was really the first time I started drinking regularly. I have a diagnosis of chronic depression and anxiety and I think I was mostly using alcohol to self medicate. I drank at least 4 days a week for months until I told my therapist what was going on, but I refused to stop drinking or go to meetings.

On January 2nd of 2013, I began residential treatment for depression and alcohol abuse, and I ended up staying for 2 months, causing me to miss a semester of school. Afterwards, I moved back in with my parents, but soon began drinking again.

As of this fall, I have tried to be successful in college again, but it is hard. I am very depressed and I now have to drink every day just to make it through...though only around 5 or 6 drinks a day.

Every site I visit with an alcoholism "quiz" says that I have a severe alcohol problem and should seek help. I am definitely struggling with school, but I have always blamed it on the depression and anxiety, thinking that alcohol was the only thing getting me through.

Am I just in denial? Is alcohol really a problem for me, and would professional help be the best thing? Admitting my struggles of depression and anxiety to my parents was hard enough, I don't know if I could ever tell them I might have a problem with alcohol as well.

Just looking for some input and advice, thank you...

ScottFromWI

Alcohol is a depressent and will actually make your depression worse.

All 3 are treatable conditions though ( alcoholism, depression and anxiety ). I would definitely seek medical/profesional help if you don't feel you can quit on your own.

First and foremost though, you have to admit to yourself that you have a problem with alcohol before you can tell anyone else. And as much as we like to think other people don't know, they do, you can be assured of that.

SR is a great site to learn about many different avenues of support, welcome and read lots!

IOAA2

Hi. I'd suggest reading your post to see if you see the answer, this sort of thing baffled me until I got honest with myself about MY drinking. I'm surprised no one informed you that alcohol is a depressant and certainly not the fixer. Try to stop drinking for 90 days and continue reading these posts and suddenly someone will post something you can identify with. I and many are recovering from help here and AA if we accept there is a problem.
BE WELL

feralfemale

Thanks Scott and IOAA2 for your replies. I know that alcohol is a depressant and ultimately is making treatment for my depression nearly impossible. How can I take an antidepressant every day and then drink, which directly counteracts that? I don't know, maybe this does mean it is a problem.

I feel like I should be strong enough to quit on my own, but I do not realistically see this happening.

ronf

Feralfemale, Love your name. I could be Feralmale. Thank you very much for your post. That simple act has already helped others! The more we find in common, the more secure we feel.
I deal with anxiety, depression, and alcoholism. This seems to be a common thread. For me, confronting the booze first helped me deal with the others MUCH easier.

All the best,

Ron

SkyeSea

Just wanted to say WELCOME feralfemale

wakko

Don't think we need a doctor for this one. Alcoholism produces depression and anxiety. You are depressed and anxious.

For me I had to get professional help and then the long-term support of AA

least

to SR! If alcohol is causing you problems, and it sounds like it is, then it's a problem that needs to be taken care of. If you cannot quit on your own then get help from somewhere. AA or another recovery program, counseling helps me a lot, and this site can be very useful in maintaining sobriety.

Most of all know that you are not alone. There are many of us who understand.

ScottFromWI

Of course we do, it's natural to think you can fix things yourself. Alcoholism is a disease though. And just as we'd see an onocologist if we have cancer, or a cardiologist if we have heart disease - we need to see someone with knowledge of alcoholism to help us live with it.

That could mean simply attending AA meetings. Or maybe one of the secular self-help methods like AVRT. It could mean meeting with a drug and alcohol counselor to explore options. Maybe even something like intensive outpatient treatment.

But the bottom line is that nothing will help, and you will not change or quit drinking until you admit to yourself that it is a problem. And then you can seek help and get better.

awuh1

It seems clear that you have two problems. Depression and alcohol. One may have preceded the other but they are two distinct problems that have now become intertwined and contribute to the other.

Both problems need to be addressed aggressively.

On the back of the medallions they hand out to commemorate AA sobriety anniversaries it says “To thine own self be true”.

When you take that first drink do you really think that it’s the best thing you can do for yourself, and those around you? Or, is that a lie?

feralfemale

Thank you everyone for your replies. I am now more seriously considering getting help. I know that drinking is no way to solve my problems, but it is so hard to take the opposite action and NOT drink.