Acheleus

So I feel like a strange, crazy person today. I do not feel like talking to anyone or doing anything, but I am going to work and then writing a paper all day tomorrow. With my meds I still do not know why I feel so alone and sad.

jock31

Hi Achelus, first time poster here, and I am feeling much like you are I think. Only 3 days down for me, but I am feeling really sad, alone, stressed out and anxious. I feel like I just want to get away for a bit and sort myself out. I'm tired, irritated and just have a feeling of dread about what is going to happen in the future.

Not sure if anyone else feels / felt like this. I just want to feel happy, whatever that is.

Acheleus

Yea dread all the time. Thinking about stuff I would usually drink away. Having to just get through each day doing whatever is necessary.

Freebird13

Ach, I thought you were feeling so much better. What happened?

jock31

Hang in there! I feel exactly the same. Every day is so long, just can't wait to get away from work and back home to just do nothing and not have to pretend I'm ok. Think this place is going to help.

Acheleus

I do not know. I just cannot deal with stress too well. As soon as I finish some work I will feel better. My insides just feel like crying. But I am at work I cannot cry, and I feel strange. Something inside of me is messed up, I just want to stay sober even if it hurts sometimes.

least

And it may hurt sometimes. But better to deal with it sober than to try to drink it away which just makes things worse.

HeadLump

Oh, Ach, you're bound to feel strange, but hopefully that's because your body's starting to heal. Good job on staying sober - it's the most important thing you can do

Acheleus

Home now and had a long day, now I have to read a whole book and write a paper all day tomorrow. I will get this done. Glad to almost be two weeks sober, I think my medications are really helping me, although I have only been taking them for about 9 days. I'm just hunkering down in my place tonight and tomorrow, and all I have to do is read and write, so I am lucky in a way, and the paper is just a draft it is not for a grade. I wrote in my notebook today that my sobriety comes before everything else in my life right now, because without it I won't have anything. Thank you guys.

james872

What you are going through is pretty normal for this stage of recovery. You don't have to think of this right now, but once you're further, you should go and date some people. If you don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend already that is.

Being alone sucks. Fortunately there are over 7 billion people on this planet.

Acheleus

Yea I got dumped a while ago, feel like I wasted five years. I have NO confidence though, not really sure why, I guess from being a falling down, blackout drunk. It will be nice to get some more time and regain my confidence. Everyday I believe in myself a little more, just waiting for that swagger

Acheleus

Yea being alone, now that I think of it, was my main trigger to get me to relapse. Wanting to go to bars and meet someone. I would just get too drunk though, and I didn't even care about anything but drinking as much as I could stand.

Uninvited

Ach,

You sound like a different person lately. So much better. I'm happy for you.

james872

Ach, you don't need to go to bars to meet people. They're standing right next to you at the fruit and vegetable section.

The problem is that you say that you have no confidence. That is the problem. Technically, it's never a case of no confidence, but the presence of a problem like insecurity.

So you need to identify what is suppressing your natural confidence and get rid of it.

Acheleus

Yea big insecurity, I hate myself and I am trying to pick myself up and focus on my good qualities. Hating myself hurts me a lot.

james872

You can just stop hating yourself you know?

Acheleus

I am trying to tell myself positive things. Drinking and hurting myself were big parts of my self-destructive drinking. I cannot even look at myself in the mirror. Ever since my gf left I feel worthless. I know deep down I have good qualities, I just do not know how to like me.

james872

You can tell yourself positive stuff all day long, but if you:

hate yourself
feel worthless
do not know how to like yourself

none of the positive self-talk will really help. You need to get rid of those feelings of hating yourself, feeling worthless and not knowing how to like yourself. Then you won't need positive affirmations.

So how would you kick those bad things out?

Malgudy

Congratulations on your 11 days. You are feeling sad and alone just because you don't have your evil companion with you (Alcohol). Few days later.. You gonna come back to the forum and say exact opposite to this and are going to feel great about yourself... 40 days today for me. Loving every second of my life. Just hang in there... You are doing great. Perhaps some music? Tasty food? Try out few things and see how you feel....

Nuudawn

Apparently you found your worth only in her acceptance. We cannot employ anyone to prop up our self worth. It was not her job Acheleus. That is far too much pressure on another human being.

What do you admire in another human being? Good looks? If great looks gave someone a sense of self worth...well, there would be so many desperately empty, drug and alcohol addicted supermodels and celebrities.

What makes a human a person of value? Who is worth loving? What makes a person worthwhile?
Wit? Talent? Kindness? Intelligence? Compassion? Generosity? Empathy? Sensitivity?

Most of like being around others who are easy to be around...who are interested in us..who like what we have to say..who make us laugh...who empathisize with us...who hear us...who really listen to what we have to say...who make us feel important and special and valued...who love us.

Do you not think you are capable of doing those things for another human being?