SadieJack

I recently had a health scare. Doctor had me do a series of stress tests and heart imaging to see if I had something going on. Everything came out great (thank god)... so I tell my alcoholic (or ex-alcoholic, not sure at this point) brother about the good news and he is almost disappointed. WTF?!?!?

He has had heart issues over the past year (heart attack, stents) so SURELY he would not want that for me... right? Or would he???

resolute50

Misery likes company.
Or maybe he just felt that he wouldn't be alone with his affliction.
I know it sounds wierd,but,that's how some folks think.

Glad you're still healthy.

lillamy

I'm glad you're healthy.
Alcoholics don't function like the rest of us.
I had a cancer scare while I was married to AXH. I had people praying for me and a good friend go with me to the doctor to get the "verdict" (it was benign).
AXH didn't even remember there was anything going on.

jacrazz

I had a breast scare a few months back, turned out to be cysts (thank god) but i remember when I told xabf he didn't show enough emotion for my liking. A couple of days after that I had to rush my mom to the hospital and when I called to tell him, the first thing that came out of his mouth was "I saw your ex a the gas station today"....Oooohhhh K, I just told you that my mom is in the ER and thats all you can say?! That is when I realized something was really wrong with him. It was really after joining SR and reading all the threads on A behavior is when the lightbulb came on!

Seren

Hi Sadie,

First, I'm very glad that everything turned out to be OK!

That huge disconnect....no sympathy....reminds me of my stepson. But with my stepson, I suspect that when his father (my husband) had his health scare, "Jr." thought he might just inherit some money. All the better to feed his then active alcohol/crack addiction.

Tuffgirl

I've read here at SR (other forums) posts by recovering addicts (drugs and alcohol) that empathy is practically impossible when one is in the throes of addictions. They just can't see beyond the end of their own noses, basically.

I wouldn't take it personally - I doubt it is because he wants you to have health problems...just that he doesn't have the emotional capacity right now to think about it much.

SadieJack

Good points everyone! I know I should not take it personally but it still is irritating. Conversely, he is SUPER sensitive to any perceived slight...real or imagined. My A cousin is the same way. For example, she has worked at a Veterans Hospital for 15 years. Every year they all (not the patients) go to a restaurant for a Xmas lunch deal. Anyway, last year she blew a gasket because no one came to her desk to get her to when they were leaving. She has to DRIVE herself! Mind you, this is a town of about 10K. She got to the restaurant and gave the group holy hell and left. She told me this story and I was simply speechless. I kept my mouth shut rather than trying to excuse her co-workers. But she is a serious go-home-after work-drink-until-you-pass-out gal.

I really hate alcohol (and yes I drink, but I am not an alcoholic). Talk about a destructive drug