39maleuk

Morning all (its 08.51 in UK). Two days since I was told that I can no longer drink anymore. 12 years of functional alcoholism where I drink 8-16 cans of lager a night and as much as I possibly can at weekends (approx 110 units per weeks according to WHO).

Why do I drink? I have no idea but I know that I am destructive im my marriage (form inappropriate relationships with others (not sexual)) and that my kids have had to grow up watching me constantly drinking.

Wife told me last night she no longer wanted us to be together as I couldn't guarantee the reason I drank was because I was unhappy in our relationship, so now can't drink and have broken marriage and have a class of children to teach in 10 minutes.....oh joy

Mentium

All the best Maleuk. I would like to suggest that your chances of stopping drinking, which I assume at the moment you are keen to do, will be hugely improved if you want to quit for yourself and not because you have had an ultimatum.

Lot's of advice and good stuff here to get your teeth into!

hayley86

Welcome 39maleuk, i am sorry to read that you are having a difficult time. You have found a wonderful place for support. SR has been a vital part of my recovery. There is tons of understanding and advice on here. Glad you have joined us.

SkyeSea

Welcome to SR 39, stick with the forum, read and post and you'll soon see things with more clarity.
Like Hayley says, there is a ton of support here. x

HeadLump

Welcome, 39male! You've made a great decision in joining here

Is it your wife or a doctor who's told you you can't drink? What do YOU think about your drinking?

I get this. I had no idea why I drank but my husband was/is convinced that I drank because something was lacking in our relationship. Nothing could have been further from the truth - I am happier with him than I could ever have imagined. But alcoholism is impossible to understand if you haven't lived it. The more sobriety I have, though, the more I realise that, if anything, there was something lacking in me.

When I finally gave up drinking, it wasn't because of any ultimatum, but his feelings were certainly a strong part of it. The more time I had, though, the more I found I really was doing it for me and not for him and I started to feel much, much better in myself. Then the motivation really kicked in

And our relationship now is beyond wonderful!

Stick with it, 39, sobriety is a brilliant place to visit and you just might choose to stay permanently

KateeDidnt

I feel sad for your wife that she thinks she is the cause of your drinking. I hope both of you eventually learn that the problem is alcohol itself. Alcohol is a horrible, sneaky, conniving witch (with a b) that wants you to love only her. Dump alcohol and hang on to your wife if you can.

I say all this because my own relationship is in trouble. Both of us are alcoholics. I have decided to end my relationship with booze. What happens next I'll deal with when it happens but I hope that I can figure out a way to be in love my husband again because I will always love him.

Amajorityofone

Friend-

It is impossible to get a bad result from a good decision. Realize this, and you will find strength.

"The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time."

-Abraham Lincoln.

Nuudawn

Welcome. While actively drinking, pretty sure I had no idea why I drank either. It was what I did...pretty much all the time in leisure hours. I didn't have long in lucidity to ponder it much. It was a habit I rarely questioned.

In sobriety, you start to understand why. You learn how to manage your life and your mind without alcohol. It's a true adventure.

It's a good idea to make a plan of action. Cravings are gonna come. Whatcha gonna do when they do?

heath480

Welcome to SR.

Today can be the beginning of a better life for you.If you commit to not drinking.

You have to want sobriety for yourself.Stay away from the first drink,not easy but doable.

Wishing you well.

firstymer

Welcome to SR, 39maleuk. This place has been an amazing source of support and information for me, especially in the earliest stages of my sobriety. I am glad you are here with us. Good luck.

ReadyAtLast

For me I realized I didn't need to know why I drank.Any reason would do-a good day, a bad day, a rainy day, a sunny day, any day that ended in 'y'. It didn't matter.

I just knew I needed to stop.

Ultimatum aside, do you want to stop? This place is a great source of suppport.Welcome

Mizzuno

Welcome to SR. Maybe you can get some literature on Alcoholism and get more informed on the situation. See if your wife would be willing to read anything regarding alcoholism. I am sorry that you are going through this, but there is a way out.
I am glad that you found SR.