needingabreak

I find I do pretty well most of the time and am a huge believer in prayer and God, however, I still worry about things. Tonight he left with a trail of cologne in his wake. He told me he had not heard from his Gf a few minutes before this. I worry he is sneaking to see his ex-gf. Is it my business? No, but it still is bothering me! I love his GF and hate the thought of him sneaking. At the same time he has been honest with her and told her every time he has seen his ex-gf to talk. It is bothering me something terrible tonight because I love his GF and he has hurt her in the past and I hate the thought of him hurting her again yet I do not even know what he is doing and I am fretting for no good reason ..........I didn't want to ask him where he was going because last night he kept saying he was going out and I knew he wasn't. He said he was busting my chops (which I did not appreciate) because he knew Id ask where he was going yet I had no intentions of asking (but yes I want to know!). It would make me feel better knowing and would lessen my worry yet it is none of my business. He is 29 and entitled to some privacy. He has given me no reason to worry about relapsing. He sees a therapist weekly and does a drug test every time. He seems to be doing well and stays close to home for the most part...............so why am I sitting here worried? Why is it so hard to just let it go and not care what his choices are (as long as they do not involve drugs)? I hate being codepedent! Small baby steps.... Glad I am going to a meeting tomorrow night. I need it..... Sorry for the long rant..

allthatsgood

Needingabreak - here I am a year and half later still worrying about my son. I believe tomorrow he will be 1 1/2 yrs clean but I never seem to know anything for sure. The questions in my mind never stop and either does the worrying. There is a way to let go but I guess neither one of us have found how to do it.

Twofish

Hey moms! That's what you are, moms! And moms love their children, they also love their children to death. Trust can be a problem, and they must earn your trust. However, these children are grown adults, capable of making the right choices in life. Why don't you worry about yourselves? Are you taking care of YOU? Eating, resting drinking fluids attending meetings? Be good to yourself, try not to overwhelm your minds. You can't control your adult children nor can you fix them.You can love them. And you can love yourself. I hope that gives you some hope and some relief. You're good moms, remember that! TF

needingabreak

Thanks Twofish. I do take good care of myself. Just having one of those moments I guess. It will pass and i know going to the meeting tomorrow will help immensely. I find walking once or twice a day really helps me. Eating my chocolate and PB ice cream helps as well

Ann

Fear wont' change the outcome and will eat you alive if you let it. You can't live in faith when you live in fear, so maybe change your focus to the good things that are happening in your life and let the future unfold as it will.

Hugs

pravchaw

Coming to SR is a big help. You are not alone.

needingabreak

Thank you for all your support and replies. I am working on taking care of myself and getting out of the codependent thinking and worrying about his choices. I can't do that anymore. I have a mother with Alzheimers who we have to fly back and forth to check on and my MIL needs attention every week as well so we have a lot on our plates. I had an interview for a per diem job where I used to work so will be doing that to get out and hoping it will bring me joy and an outlet not more stress! Hope everyone is having a good day today. I pray for all of you every morning and night. While this is such a wonderful supportive club of people, it's not a club any of us wants to be in!