New to SR
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: SC
Posts: 27
New to SR
Woke up an hour ago and called a good friend to tell them today is the day! Today I start my sobriety and he said that I say this every Monday. For some reason, it really hurt my feelings today and made me wonder who else laughs at me when I am being serious about becoming a sober member of society. I didn't want to go into why today I chose to try again because I am embarrassed but I just wish I had some support from a friend.
Last night I embarrassed myself in front of many people, my mother and brother. I would pretty much say I hit rock bottom and feel like hiding away in my room, forever! I am an alcoholic. I can't lie to myself any longer.
I wake up on Monday's after a weekend of binge drinking only to feel so lonely and confused, for many years. I understand that because of my drinking I am losing control of my emotions (crying, reclusiveness, not remembering things from the past few days, etc.). To me, I feel desperate for help. I am 35 and at one time a successful woman. My ex was able to get help, sobered up and had to leave me because of my choice to continue on like everything was fine.
I have been lurking and reading the forums, for strength and proof that maybe I can live a sober life one day. Just registered because I felt the need to just talk/type to people who may understand how I am feeling. I want to thank you all for sharing your ups/downs. Also thank you for reading this and please keep me in your thoughts today, kind of scared of detoxing.
Last night I embarrassed myself in front of many people, my mother and brother. I would pretty much say I hit rock bottom and feel like hiding away in my room, forever! I am an alcoholic. I can't lie to myself any longer.
I wake up on Monday's after a weekend of binge drinking only to feel so lonely and confused, for many years. I understand that because of my drinking I am losing control of my emotions (crying, reclusiveness, not remembering things from the past few days, etc.). To me, I feel desperate for help. I am 35 and at one time a successful woman. My ex was able to get help, sobered up and had to leave me because of my choice to continue on like everything was fine.
I have been lurking and reading the forums, for strength and proof that maybe I can live a sober life one day. Just registered because I felt the need to just talk/type to people who may understand how I am feeling. I want to thank you all for sharing your ups/downs. Also thank you for reading this and please keep me in your thoughts today, kind of scared of detoxing.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
to SR! Can you see your doctor for help in getting safely thru w/d? Sometimes detoxing from alcohol can be dangerous and it's good to have medical help. You've come to a good place for support.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth Australia
Posts: 221
Congratulations! You can do this. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. One day at a time, don't drink. I'm 34, mother of two boys.
I am an alcoholic too. We deserve our own love and support and the love and support of other recovering addicts who understand. Your friend doesn't get it. We do.
I am an alcoholic too. We deserve our own love and support and the love and support of other recovering addicts who understand. Your friend doesn't get it. We do.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,822
welcome needair
I'm sure you know you found a very welcoming and supportive community here
It's hard especially in the beginning, I joined about 2 mnths ago , but that certainly wasn't the first time I said 'never again', but I am determined to make it my last.
Great choice to start posting, you got this
wish you well and hope to see you around
I'm sure you know you found a very welcoming and supportive community here
It's hard especially in the beginning, I joined about 2 mnths ago , but that certainly wasn't the first time I said 'never again', but I am determined to make it my last.
Great choice to start posting, you got this
wish you well and hope to see you around
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Making the statement I wanted to quit happened to me daily for the last couple of years of drinking. I never made it past the first five minutes of being awake then poured two shots or more of scotch in my first coffee. I would tell myself that I would quit tomorrow and convince myself I meant it. Tomorrow never came. Every day was today, and everyday I'd say just today I'll drink. See, I always drank today, which was taking away all my tomorrows, one day at a time.
I could not break out and was seeing my death very soon. I desperately needed to stop! I needed a head start. I found a one week detox program in the local VA hospital I qualified for, signed in after getting my house and family prepared for that and the follow on 28 day rehab. I quit smoking three packs a day that week too! I checked in Sept 21st, 2010. No relapses, never looked back. I am free, and nothing could ever make me decide to take a drink again. That decision was made before I checked into detox. I just need the safe one week jump start.
I didn't give a Tinker's damn about my wife or grown kids, their opinions or whether they thought I had a serious problem or not. I found friends and family are afraid of the word alcoholic, because it threatens their beliefs about their own drinking. All of mine told me I didn't have a problem, I just needed to cut back. None of them woke up shaking so badly it was hard to drink the scotch laced coffee to stop the shaking, then puking that up 1/3rd of the time, then trying again because without some alcohol in my body it just gets worse.
Do whatever you need to do except drink away your resolve. Post and read here a lot. I will look for your posts and respond when I can. If I could, I would, then I did, and now I can! So could you.
I could not break out and was seeing my death very soon. I desperately needed to stop! I needed a head start. I found a one week detox program in the local VA hospital I qualified for, signed in after getting my house and family prepared for that and the follow on 28 day rehab. I quit smoking three packs a day that week too! I checked in Sept 21st, 2010. No relapses, never looked back. I am free, and nothing could ever make me decide to take a drink again. That decision was made before I checked into detox. I just need the safe one week jump start.
I didn't give a Tinker's damn about my wife or grown kids, their opinions or whether they thought I had a serious problem or not. I found friends and family are afraid of the word alcoholic, because it threatens their beliefs about their own drinking. All of mine told me I didn't have a problem, I just needed to cut back. None of them woke up shaking so badly it was hard to drink the scotch laced coffee to stop the shaking, then puking that up 1/3rd of the time, then trying again because without some alcohol in my body it just gets worse.
Do whatever you need to do except drink away your resolve. Post and read here a lot. I will look for your posts and respond when I can. If I could, I would, then I did, and now I can! So could you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 277
Welcome Needair,, You have already taken the first and a very important step, by singning up and joining this forum. This is a great forum and you will get lots of help. Keep reading and posting .. Do whatever it takes.. And also , pl do see a doctor so that you can get through a safe withdrwal ..Best of luck.
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